Words cannot express how happy I am that I took the time to explain in detail my deep seated fear of needles. If I hadn't, none of you wonderful readers would fully be able to appreciate my traumatic experience yesterday.
Eric and I got back from Harrison's birthday party around 11pm on Sunday, and I actually rallied and was up at 5:30 Monday to go for a 5 mile run. Before work, I went to my doctor for a physical, the reason I got the blood drawn last week.
That meant I was kicking Monday morning off with a weigh in. The number wasn't really what I wanted it to be (who am I kidding, it never is, look at the freaking name of this blog), but luckily having a near stranger call me a fat ass to my face recently had prepared me for that.
To illustrate, here's a picture from yesterday. I decided to paint my gross chalk boards black. I had to instagram it, because that's really shocking. I've never in my 30 years painted a wall. I'm not sure what went wrong, but I was born without that "make things look nice" gene that all other women seem to have.
The point is, I was doing manual labor, in August, with no air conditioning, and you can clearly see that I am wearing long sleeves, and what you can't tell is that it's a long sleeved fleece. Yeah.
My doctor thought we should test my iron to look into this. I agreed. That was why I specifically said to the technician (aka my golden angel) "I'd like my iron checked" right before she stabbed me. She had replied "yes, it says that here on your order".
Well, apparently like half the stuff they were supposed to check for never got checked. My doctor told me I needed more blood drawn. I barely restrained myself from screaming "what the hell did you do with the other blood? It was only 5 days ago, don't tell me you already threw it away! Pull that back out and test it again!". But that didn't seem to be an option, so I tried to resign myself to more needles.
Things got worse. Somehow, I was coerced into also getting a tetanus shot. Now I was facing two needles. Luckily, my sister got me through my sending me some adorable pictures to focus on.
Side note: When I tell Eric stories, I usually refer to my inner monologue as though that's what actually was said and he ends up really confused.
On top of all that all this extra torture made me like an hour late for work. It was an adults-only day, which sounds dirty, but I actually just mean I wasn't responsible for caring for children, like I normally am. I hate being late so while I was waiting for the shots I blew up the phones of pretty much everyone I work with, from my boss on down, telling them my sob story and not to judge me for being late, and when I finally arrived, they were all like "yeah no one really cares about you being late".
Good news though! After work tomorrow, Eric and I are off on vacation! We'll be in Orlando for 3 days, and then on a Caribbean cruise for a bliss filled week. Eric is a major Harry Potter fan, so we're making a stop at Wizard-palooza or whatever in Universal Studios. I've tried to read the first book twice now and could never get into it, but I am trying to force myself to get through it for this trip. I'm 40% done. Now if there was a Twilight world, that I could get on board with. Actually, my BFF Carolyn will be in the REAL Forks while we are meeting Harry Potter, and I'm insanely jealous. And apparently, you can actually go to Hunger Games summer camp, so we will definitely be signing up for 2014.
If you could "enter" any world from a book or movie, which would it be? I think mine is pretty clear. If there was a Game of Thrones world, I'd sell every possession I own to get there before you could say "Winter is coming". Also, Eric and I have been on the official The Office fan tour in Scranton. We had a drink at Poor Richards and everything!
So when do you get your results for your Iron? I'm always totally cold too and obviously my body is 100% suffocating from the inside out. No matter how much iron I take, it seems to make no difference.
ReplyDeleteBook or movie? How about TV show? I think we all know the answer to that.
ReplyDeleteI want to see Eric enjoying Harry Potter world. That is going to be amazing.
I am totally o_O at the idea of a Hunger Games camp. Buh. I HAVE NO WORDS.
ReplyDeleteI would be packing up for King's Landing IN A HEARTBEAT.
Seriously, if there was a Buffy world, I'd be there and stalking Angel and Spike like nobody's business. If we're just going with books, I'm right there with you with GoT. Mike wishes he was Ned Stark.
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous of your vacation!! I'll miss you!
Tip for Harry Potter World: get there early and stay until you're done. Don't plan on coming back later, the place gets packed and they stop letting people in.
ReplyDeleteUgh, that sounds miserable! Hopefully you never have to do a scratch test for allergies or anything-- SO many needles!
ReplyDeleteSee, my problem with being in GoT land is that everyone is trying to kill everyone...not so down with that. I think I'd vote for Harry Potter in the winter when it looks all pretty and snow is falling on the cobblestone streets. Can I choose that way?!
I also have a terrible fear of needles, so I feel for you! I have to have my husband bring me in whenever I need a shot or blood drawn because I tend to pass out. When my doc talked me into a tetanus shot last year I laid on the table and sobbed with my hand over my face while the nurse talked to me like I was a 3 year old. My only solace was in telling her that you can't spell tetanus without the 'anus'.
ReplyDeleteI'd be off in space with the crew of the Starship Enterprise. Alright, fine, everybody laugh. I don't care.
ReplyDeleteHave a fantastic vacay and if you don't want to read Harry on board the ship, the second draft of my book The Core Listeners is finally finished. (For now.) I can send it to you . . .?
While I thoroughly enjoy Game of Thrones, I think living there would actually suck. I'd probably die immediately. Confession though - I often imagine myself in whatever book I'm enjoying as I'm headed off to sleep. This may explain some rather bizarre dreams.
ReplyDeleteHave a great vacation! I had to have blood drawn Monday and I couldn't help but laugh and think of you. I think they thought I was weird, but I really hate having my blood drawn!
ReplyDeleteYou mean that I'm not the only person who tells stories and sometimes combines the actual story with the inner monologue?! All the time, P is like "did you say that?!" and then have to be like "no, that was just in my head."
ReplyDeleteMy life is much funnier in my head. And I'm a lot braver.
I put off a tetanus booster for 5 years until I was told that I couldn't go to grad school without it. Shots are never as painful as I think they will be. Except Guardasil. That shit burns like the fires of hell.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I love your fondness of Twilight! I'm actually from Port Angeles (where they got their dresses in the first book) and it's next to Forks. When I shared this with my students (I live in MI now) a couple of years ago, I immediately became cool. A big deal in the college-age crowd! Enjoy your cruise!
ReplyDeleteIf they had Star Wars Land Allan might try to move us there and never come back. Personally I'm not sure what movie or book's world I'd chose but it wouldn't be anywhere that gets too cold.
ReplyDeleteHope you and Eric have a great time on your cruise!
I have low iron and I am always cold..I had no idea they were related. Fascinating.
ReplyDeleteI have inner monologues all the time and tell them to Zach in my stories. He always has to stop me and ask "Did you REALLY say that?" ha.
I love Harry Potter and still have dreams that I get my letter. Seriously.