Sunday, September 14, 2014

Part wild animal, part pregnancy stereotype


This weekend, I experienced some things I haven't experienced in quite some time.

First, I did what all women do a week and a half before their due date.

Eric couldn't go and my wedding ring doesn't fit, so naturally wild times ensued.

The bartender is an old friend of ours from when Eric used to work here. Don't ever crush a young girl's dreams telling her she can't meet her Prince Charming/future baby daddy late Friday night at a bar. The bartender made me that fancy Shirley Temple so I could act like I was playing in the big leagues. I thought maybe I'd get some side eye, but it turns out everyone was busy drinking and hanging out with their own friends and didn't care to waste their Saturday night concerning themselves with what random strangers were up to. I could have been out on the town, boozing it up this whole time.

I didn't just hit up the bar in a failed attempt to incite a mommy police riot. Actually, it was my running buddy's boyfriend's birthday.

Remember when I used to spend time outside just running?
 
 
 The second big new change was that I felt cold. So cold I had to make hot coffee instead of iced.
 

I also wore pants for the first time in months.
I'm someone who routinely wears sweatshirts in August and if money was no object I would keep the heat at 80* all winter. Pregnancy hormones or an 72 extra pounds or both kept me super toasty all summer and I honestly don't even remember the last time I felt even slightly chilly, or wore pants or long sleeves. It was wonderful. I'm usually sad to see summer go, but I've never been so happy to say goodbye and greet fall.

Unlike the bar, the rest of the weekend's activities screamed: "I'm super pregnant!".

I organized/put away a ton of diapers and wipes. And enjoyed it.

This will stay organized for approximately 1.5 hours after the baby joins us.

This picture doesn't really do justice. The wipes are stacked more than half my height.

There's still more in the closet, but I felt I'd taken enough pictures.
I had a near meltdown when Wegmans didn't have any mellowcream pumpkins in the bulk section. So I was forced to pick through this assortment to find them all.

This was post search and rescue.

I intended to take a better picture of my pumpkins when I got home but I ate a lot of them.
I also got no side eye while I patiently retrieved all my pumpkins. I was wearing gloves, I'm not an animal.
 
We got our car seats checked.
 

Definitely still so far from used to that new title.

You get to practice strapping a baby doll in and everything. It definitely helped my confidence.
 
I started boiling a pot of quinoa for lunch this week (I do try to eat healthy occasionally, especially for boring meals) then immediately forgot about it and left with my friend to walk to the bagel shop, without my phone. Luckily I remembered before it turned in to a 12 alarm fire (I don't know how many alarms fires go up to).
 
I'm really ready to be done with this pregnancy brain. It's becoming a danger to society.
 
I'm trying to patiently wait for the baby to decide to arrive, and being moderately successful. My strategy is to try to focus on fun stuff we're doing in the meantime. It's kind of a challenge, since 5 days a week are filled with work. But if we remain a family of two this weekend, we are going to see the Maze Runner! Totally just as good as bringing new life into the world. No, for real, it's cool though, it's not like I'm overdue so I feel I don't have the right to actually get impatient before that happens.
 
9 days until the due date. For those less math inclined, that's a single digit number. When people ask, I don't even have to give a date anymore, I can just say a week from Tuesday. It's so close, I can reference it directly.
 
What public behavior always causes you to give someone the side eye? I would say probably taking a selfie. Even better, multiple tries for a selfie. Also, paying for groceries with a check. It's 2014, get a debit card.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I avoided giving birth on the news

 
Less than two weeks till the due date! In case anyone forgot. I sure didn't.


THERE'S AN ACTUAL BABY INSIDE ME.
Supposedly the baby is still growing at the same rate, but based on my hunger levels I can only assume he's quickly morphing into a giant before delivery.

This is my life lately.



Except actually not, because teachers have set lunch times and we don't get snack time in fifth grade. I just try to cram it all in with three gigantic meals a day and then feel miserable. It's a good plan. My lunch time this year is 1pm, which I guess is a normal lunch time, but last year it was noon. I don't know if it's the baby or just that I've been trained to eat at 12pm like one of Pavlov's dogs, but that last hour is killer. I finally brought in some pretzels that I can eat if things really get desperate. First world pain, it fills my life.

I'm still far from miserable, especially since this week isn't 105 degrees in my classroom every day. I probably would be quite miserable if my coworkers weren't so awesome. To start with, they constantly cover me so I can take my round the clock hourly bathroom break. Then, I was supposed to go on a field trip yesterday.

The Cliff's notes version was that we were going somewhere (Fort McHenry, the birthplace of our national anthem, if you care) that would require an entire day of standing and walking outside. I wasn't too concerned about that, not ideal, but I could handle it. But the trip was estimated to have over 7,000 people going to a tiny piece of land surrounded on three sides by water, which meant a major bottle neck effect to get in or out. That was the part that concerned me a bit.

I planned to just have Eric take the hospital bag in his car, and worst case scenario, he would come get me. Not ideal, since he's also a teacher and can't just peace out from work at a moment's notice. Furthermore, I have this thing called Strep B which is no big deal, it just means if your water breaks, you need to get to the hospital asap for antibiotics. That's actually all I know because for once I made wise choices and just took my doctor at her word and didn't follow up with a WebMD induced panic attack. For me, it also means that everywhere I go other than work, I have a mental contingency plan for how to quickly get to the hospital, which I probably would have done anyway.

Anyway, one of my amazing coworkers stepped up and went with my class in my place. I didn't even have to endure a single nightmare about ending up with my birth story on the six o'clock news. I can't even describe just how far my anxiety went down.

Today I went to what was billed as a faculty meeting, and it turned out to be a surprise baby shower! Eric was even invited and had rushed over after his school dismissed to surprise me. Once again, he fulfilled his duty of entertaining and took on the monumental task of making things less awkward when I'm the center of attention.

Co-ed showers are the way to go.
I was so shocked I couldn't even process that he was there. I mean, it should have been obvious since it's so close to the end, and we never have faculty meetings on Wednesdays, and my teammates made me late cornering me in my room asking me random questions, but I've never been known for my all star connecting the dots skills. The same wonderful person who took over my field trip knew from my blog that we were in pretty solid shape as far as baby stuff goes, so she arranged that we mainly got diapers, wipes, and books. It was just so perfect.

I'm really way too excited about that basket and don't know what I should fill it with.
Since I'm overflowing with rare loving, happy hormones, share the best part of your job today!
 

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Eric vs. compression socks


Another wild Friday night in the Lindsey household.

I had ankles again Saturday morning, so it was totally worth it.
In addition to doing the hard lifting on compression socks, Eric brought us pit beef from Chaps. Doesn't look like much, but it's kind of a big deal. It's been on Man vs. Food and Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. I've lived here way too long to have never tried it.
 
It was well worth the wait.
The good food continued when I found this on Saturday.



I haven't tried it yet, but I'll report back.

On my way in to the store, a random man wished me happy mother's day and said "I wish it were mine". I'm assuming that's some creepy way to hit on me? It's been a while since I've been hit on, so I'm not 100% sure.  At any rate, that line was a first for me. Then he was in every aisle I was in. So not awkward at all.

Saturday night was a girl's night to watch Sex and the City, the movie. We both pretty much have the movie memorized, but I'll never get tired of seeing it. It was a little more of a girls night + one husband. Has anyone else ever noticed that men tend to mock SATC but then when it's on, they are suddenly watching and cracking up? Eric does this all the time.

Sunday was a sad start to the football season for the Ravens. Eric got me this necklace last fall and I ended up never wearing it because the Ravens season ended. It's like he magically knew I'd be heavily pregnant the next year and unable to fit into any of my purple t-shirts.

I'm doing my best to keep it moving at 37 weeks along. I feel like at any point the switch will flip and I'll be in that pure misery phase and exercise will be done for me. Someone at work told me she thought the baby had dropped, but he's still kicking my ribs so unless he has crazy long legs, I'm guessing not. Not one person I've talked to has actually known when the drop happens though (FYI it's when the baby's head starts to descend). Is it a quick movement like the ball at midnight on New Year's Eve, or is it more like a slow elevator?

Anyway, I did some workouts this week and I'd like to document them. At this point, every last little thing where I'm not horizontal counts. Like being on my feet the majority of the workday.

Monday: Superbody boot camp DVD (I found this pretty challenging even pre-pregnancy)
Tuesday: 45 min incline walk with just the teensiest bit of running thrown in
Wednesday: 45 min circuit training class
Thursday: 30 min elliptical
Friday: 30 min elliptical
Saturday: 45 min walk/run
Sunday: I was going to do something but after weekly food prep/cleaning/laundry my back was killing me so I decided those things were sufficient.

Plus a 35 minute stroller walk while babysitting this guy.

Being pregnant walking in crazy humidity and hills can really tire a person out.
I felt like the people I passed were wondering what sort of crazy Irish twin situation I had gotten myself into.
 

What movie can you watch a million times and never get tired of? One of mine just came on TV. Forrest Gump. Apparently it was in theaters TWENTY YEARS AGO this weekend. Frightening.
 

 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Ok NOW the baby can come


I've said that we are as "ready" as possible for the baby, but I guess that was just true on the home front. I woke up in the middle of the night with a fake/BH contraction and started having a panic attack because my sub plans for maternity leave weren't done. I vowed I wouldn't leave work today until they were.

I kept that vow.

In case there's confusion.

So now I don't have to lie awake at 4am hoping my labor goes slow enough to text my teammates all sorts of teaching details for whoever takes over for me. I could still be pregnant for four more weeks though. I remember when it was 12 more weeks and I was like NOT ENOUGH TIME HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! And now four more weeks seems like forever.

I learned the hard way that if you want to text a friend where your maternity leave plans are, it's important to be REALLY clear that it's just a pre-emptive preparation, and you are not in labor that moment. Oops.

I had a lot of Braxton Hicks that kept me awake last night, but not because they were painful or even really uncomfortable. Actually, half the time I couldn't even feel them unless I pressed on my belly. But then I was freaked out because my doctor said they shouldn't be lasting more than a minute, and I was like HOW DO I TIME SOMETHING I CAN'T EVEN FEEL OMG IT'S PROBABLY BEEN A MINUTE ARE YOU OK IN THERE.

Maybe this is the dumbest most naïve pregnant lady thought ever, but I feel it will give me at least some tiny peace of mind to be able to SEE this child.

The thing is, we've all seen movies and TV or whatever and the water breaks and the lady has contractions and it all seems obvious. But what no one tells you is that there's all sorts of weird stuff that happens to your body and no one can really describe what it feels like and you'll actually have no idea what is happening when and just constantly feel confusion and second guess yourself. At least that's been my experience.

While I was exhausted over the summer, I thought it would be pure hell actually having to return to work. It's actually been pretty good. I hated the first week of meetings and set up, but I always hate that week. I do much better with a routine and strict schedule. Yeah, I get that it's ironic that I post that right before embarking on the newborn phase, but whatever, life's tough sometimes and you have to man up. Anyway, I've felt decently energetic, or at least no more tired than normal for the second week of school. My back and feet get sore and all that but really it's minimal, and the biggest complaint I have right now is that I'm looking at melted ice cream that I seriously couldn't finish. It's shameful.

I feel like maybe I'm reaping some benefits from doing some sort of weight bearing exercise about twice a week since January. I'm actually able to lift more weight when it's just upper body stuff. It's not like crazy CrossFit madness or anything, it's more like I can do a workout DVD with the 5 pound weights instead of the 3 pound weights. Considering I'm getting slower and less fit in all other ways, I'll take it.

I also finally got my hair cut, which will hopefully tide me over until god knows when I can go again. I'd totally take a selfie but when it's 90+ degrees out with 900% humidity, my concern with my hair is that it needs to be off my face and neck and out of my life, not looking good. I also don't wear makeup because it would just melt off my face. #sobrave Maybe next week if it actually drops into the 70s as promised, I'll do something about that. Or not.

Thanks so much for all the compliments on our nursery! I passed them all along to the one who deserves the praise, my husband.

What's something surprising that you've learned recently that you wish someone had told you ahead of time?

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Nursery reveal


OMG, are you like totes ready to look at 35 pictures showcasing every square inch of our nursery? No? That sounds like pure hell? Well, you came to the right place.

As I mentioned a few months ago in my "things I've learned in my 30s" post (you do take copious notes and remember everything I've ever written, right?), I don't do decorating. In my 20s, I was really envious of this skill that all my friends seemed to have where they could just look at an empty room and envision a way to make it beautiful. I was eagerly waiting for when this adult trait would kick in for me. It took me years to realize that, like any talent, it's not something that suddenly kicks in, you either have it or you don't, and I don't.

We both considered it well worth our time to work long hours at second jobs to save up to go on a cruise last summer. But we've have a hand me down table for almost ten years that looks its age, and have no intention of shelling out to replace it while it's still standing. I'm writing this blog post from a chair we got from Craig's List for $1, which met our #1 qualification of "comfortable".


I might not have a Pinterest - worthy nursery, but all the baby clothes are organized by size!
 

 

 
 

Full disclosure - I wrote this post like two weeks ago but thought of other things to say since then. I don't have enough on my mind to waste a pre-written blog post when I can make one up based on my life being slightly less mundane that day.

If you come over, you're not going to see a beautifully designed, perfectly coordinated living space. You'll see some pictures on the wall from 2009 that I kept meaning to update but now I figure I might as well wait for the baby to photograph. Likewise, if you stop by unexpectedly, you're going to see several days worth of mail piled up on the dining room table, a clean load(s) of laundry in the living room waiting to be folded, and a bunch of random junk on the coffee table like Advil, a stapler, and stamps (just what I'm seeing right now). It's also about to be 100% overtaken with baby stuff, and later on, toys and kid stuff. I know some parents want to keep all that contained and still live in a nice house, and I definitely understand why. Personally, I know that things will look like Toys R Us exploded around here and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

In fact, here's what we're dealing with prior to the kid even arriving.

He needs ALL THE OPTIONS for where to hang out (at least 3 more are unpictured).
His toys before either of us have ever set foot in a toy store.

In case he comes out of the womb eating solid foods.

Ready to rush to the hospital!

It doesn't really matter that I can't decorate because another thing I learned was not to waste time with sub-par people, so even though most of my friends do live in Pinterest - worth, clutter free houses (at least in my opinion), anyone I invite over isn't going to judge, so it doesn't concern me (anymore). If eventually we decide where we want to live when we grow up and actually buy a place, maybe I'll make more of an attempt, but we do live in the age of Pinterest so I can just find something that looks nice and easy and copy it, or just ask one of my many decorating savvy friends to help me and bake them something delicious as a reward.

Anyway, this was supposed to be about the nursery. I was slightly excited to decorate that room, which is something I've never experienced. We thought an owl theme would be nice, but other than pinning some owl themed boys rooms and registering for owl sheets, we didn't really take it any further. Also I failed at even that, because the owl sheets don't even fit. Still, I really love how it looks, and I can brag about it like crazy because I had nothing to do with it. My husband has been working all summer on it, and everything there in is a result of his hard work.

Originally, it was a "guest room", but that's in quotes because it's not exactly Monica Geller's vision of a guest room with a beautiful bed and an antique desk where guests can write notes about how beautiful the guest room is. It was more like we had a bed (ok, futon) in there, but we also shoved all the crap that we had accumulated but didn't know what else to do with in there.

Obviously this was well after all the baby stuff began to move in.

Believe it or not, these before pictures don't even really capture how bad it was, because they were taken after Eric had already moved a bunch of junk out. They were also obviously after we had already received a lot of baby hand me downs.



Now, it looks like this.
 
All three of the outfits on the bookcase are now in the hospital bag. Just in case.
 
 
 
Eric did the closet like that to surprise me!
 
Check out the his and hers diaper bags above. My mom got Eric his own for his birthday. Now I kind of regret not registering for a super bright hot pink one covered in rainbows and hearts.

 

 
The light is not as bright as it appears, I swear.
Just the fact that it's painted something other than builder grade nasty "white", has curtains, and furniture that was bought brand new makes it by far our nicest room. It's ideal for me because it looks really pretty, in my opinion, and I put forth very minimal effort for that to happen. Basically I registered for stuff and folded the clothes and put them in the dresser.

I do think it might be fun to get a big boy room ready in a few years when he is old enough to have his own interests and help pick things out.

And that's the story of the nursery.

Where does your house fall on the scale of decorating? 10 is a house tour would get hundred of pins, 1 is me.
  

 

Monday, September 1, 2014

My pledge to you


It's September! Not usually my favorite month by a long shot, but this year it's looking pretty good. This month we have a reasonably good chance of finally meeting our son! According to the pregnancy bible, What to Expect When You're Expecting, approximately 50% of pregnancies go on past the due date, most often first time mothers. I've always accepted he could likely have an October birthday, instead. But I can say for sure that the month of his due date has arrived!

Tomorrow also brings me to 37 weeks pregnant, which my doctor said is full term. So while I'd prefer he still in a few more weeks and finish all that brain development and everything, delivering prematurely is no longer a worry. Obviously that doesn't mean I'm set for a life of everything coming up roses as a parent, but it's still nice to have one scary thing off the table.

In honor of this exciting month, I finally added a Twitter and Instagram widget to my blog, in case you want to follow me and see brand new baby pictures and possibly labor updates. I'm still now quite satisfied with how they look, but I played with it until I got bored and moved on to another activity. The downside is that now I feel pressure to tweet out amusing sentiments. Don't hold your breath for that.

My sister and I recently discussed the disturbing, not really new trend of women posting TMI information involving their cervix on social media, often under the guise of "I need to inform my friends and family,". No, actually you don't.

First of all, if your female friends are anything like pre-pregnant me, and your male friends are anything like every man ever, they don't even know what terms like "effacement" and "station" even mean. I'm not going to explain because I assume if you don't know, you don't care. All people actually want is to know when the baby is here with a picture or two AFTER he or she has been cleaned off. Possibly also the name. We came up with ours before we even got married, and have had it under wraps. We also came up with the fetus's (what's the possessive of fetus?) nickname, L'4eous, years and years ago.

Second of all, EW. The internet just does not need to know anything about parts of your body a bathing suit covers. I've shared what goes on behind closed doors at the doctor's office with exactly two people, my mom and my close friend who is due two weeks after me, both by request. (Assuming it goes without saying that I share with my baby daddy.) I guess if I'm wrong, which is rare but not unheard of, and someone else out there really wants that information, you can text me. If you don't have my number, we aren't close enough to discuss intimate details.

One caveat - I do have full intentions of blogging the birth story, so I'll probably have to at least allude to that information to do so successfully. But I'll put a warning up at the top of the post if I remember, or if not you can just use common sense and assume.

I've already posted my birth plan, but I'll repost a slightly adapted version to refresh everyone's memory.

1. Have a healthy baby
2. Stay healthy myself
3. Epidural asap

If I got to choose, I would definitely prefer to go into labor on my own and avoid scary abdominal surgery. I don't get to choose though, so if an induction or a C-section is the path to bringing a healthy baby home, then that's cool with me.

I'm definitely a lot less anxious about labor and delivery than I expected at this point. I'm also swinging a lot more often toward the excited rather than the nervous side of the "I'm about to be a parent" spectrum. I attribute these happy shifts to a combination of two things. One is the school year starting, and the day to day stress and anxiety that comes with it taking over my brain. The other is a healthy dose of ignorance being bliss.

I'm curious if second(+) time moms feel more confident, since they've already produced a kid and kept it alive, or if without that lovely cushion of ignorant bliss it's a lot more scary. Feel free to share.

I see a lot of pictures on social media of pregnant women using their bellies as a table, and I thought that was going to be a cool little benefit. My baby is having none of that. I've only tried to rest my kindle on there so far, but he always kicks it and makes it hard to read. There's no way food or drink would survive, which seem to be the most popular choices. I might be losing it and assigning personality traits/desires based on random movements. What can I say, I'm really eager to get to know this kid.

I'm helping interview for my long term sub this week. It's basically like finding a daycare. Except with the daycare providers we looked at they all had their own kids and had like 25 years of daycare under their belt so I actually felt they were way more qualified than me to watch a baby. This is the opposite. I've taught most of these kids for 3-4 years now and probably won't feel that anyone will be good enough to care for them in my absence. I pity the applicants.

Complaining about the weather is really high on the list of things that no one wants to hear or read about, ever, but in my current situation I reserve the right to complain.


The forecast for the work week. Keep in mind it's generally 10 degrees hotter in my classroom than outside.
I prepared by refusing to expose myself to the outside world for the past two days. My feet are almost down to normal size.

What's your biggest social media annoyance at the moment?

I'm not against birth plans, since I've never actually given birth and can't judge (yet), but if any labor and delivery nurses, midwives, or OBs read here, I would really love to hear your honest thoughts about laboring women bringing in like 3 page typed documents.
 

 

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Non laboriuos labor day. Hopefully.


I like my labor day weekends as non-laborious as possible. I'm really taking a big jinx risk typing this the day before actual labor day, so hopefully the baby doesn't decide to take me up on the challenge and turn my labor day into a REAL labor day. It's still just a tad too early.

Coming home from work on the Friday starting a three day weekend is one of the best feelings there is. Even better, I had a package waiting for me. My good friend from college, Nikki, made L'4yeous this amazing blanket and hat. She started it when I first told her I was pregnant!

So talented I can't even deal.
Finally figured out how to turn off the time stamp on our camera.
Friday night we just took it easy and hung out and watched part of Jurassic Park on TV, but I couldn't even stay awake for all of it and was dead to the world by 10pm.

Saturday I had some particularly relaxing plans. Two other generous friends gave me a gift card for a prenatal massage for my birthday in June. Although I was tempted to use it immediately, especially with the many, many hours we spent in the car in July, I held out and waited for when I would truly need it: after the first week of school. It was so wonderful and well worth the wait.

Creepy after rub down picture. They let me cuddle up with a body pillow and this table was shockingly comfortable.
After that, I went to another one of my happy places: Wegmans. The only way to do Saturday afternoon grocery shopping and have it be enjoyable rather than stressful.

I returned to find that my husband had spent the time I was gone cleaning and everything was spic and span. I've been a little lazy with that lately (nesting.... not happening around here) so it's almost like I didn't recognize the place.

Another thing I've been slacking on is pool time. Even though it hasn't been THAT hot this summer, I'm always like "yeah I could cover myself in sunscreen and walk to the pool.... or just lay here and read on the couch in the air conditioning". I just get really bored in the pool by myself, so I usually just sit and read and get really hot. I used to read IN the pool, but with the kindle I refuse to chance it. Then I drive by the pool to go somewhere and it looks so beautiful and I regret my life choices. So I finally adjusted my priorities and made it happen.


Bonus - strangers got to enjoy the sight of my large ghost white belly.
I'm obsessed with the Timehop app. It shows you everything you've ever posted on social media on that date, so every morning I get to take a little walk down memory lane. Here's what happened 5 years ago Friday.

 
 
Turns out a lot can change in 5 years. Like the fact that I realized that it's not necessary to include the length of a run down to the hundredth place. There's definitely no way I could run 7 miles now, in fact, that morning I literally made it one minute running before abandoning ship and doing the elliptical. I do have a vague memory of a time, not that long ago, when 7 miles was a normal weekday run.

Later on Friday, my fellow knocked up friend sent me this article about a woman who ran 9 miles to the hospital to deliver her baby (via planned C-section, but still). Which sounds like the result of some sort of horrible emergency situation, right? No, she just decided it sounded like fun. She also did a full ironman while pregnant. Personally I find that to be 110% psychotic, but to each their own I guess.

I also finally checked out the new TV series, Outlander.
 
I was really into the books a few years ago, but somehow petered out and never finished the third one (and there's like, 8). So maybe I wasn't really into them, but I did love the first one. When I found out it was a show, I started to reread the third and now I'm determined to finish the series even if it takes me two years like Game of Thrones (or more). I liked the first episode of the show a lot too.

What's the biggest change in your life in the past five years?