Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Moms -this is what you need

I sincerely apologize. My kid is four weeks old today (time seriously PLEASE STOP) which makes me about 3 weeks late on my post about all the parenting things you need to be a successful parent like me.

OMG why do my feet sneak in to every picture I'm so sorry. Also Kari made him that sweet baby drool scarf!

Except I'm not planning on recommending baby stuff. When you're pregnant and looking for advice it can be extremely stressful because all your mom friends are willing to help, which is wonderful, but they all recommend different stuff. Probably because they all have different babies. So until someone invents a device to ask your unborn fetus which swaddler or bottle or bed he will prefer once he is a member of the outside world, it's a crapshoot. Sure, people can let you know which items have features that are helpful to parents, but unless it's an item that's exclusively for adult use, like a wipes dispenser or monitor, it doesn't matter how parent friendly it is if your baby hates it.

My baby is four weeks old. I know nothing, like Jon Snow. With that disclaimer, here we go - what new moms need.

1. Ice

With nutso hormonal hot flashes and, if you're breastfeeding, unquenchable thirst, you'll need to drink approximately 95 large glasses of ice water daily.
Because you clearly didn't know what a glass of water looks like.

Every time you reach for your water it will be empty because you just chugged it and then immediately forgot what just happened (this applies to everything, not just drinking). If you were smart enough to get a fridge with an ice dispenser, this won't be an issue, but if, like me, you don't live this life of luxury and have to fill up ice trays like a pauper, you have to stay on top of things. People say being pregnant in the summer is bad, but personally I would much rather spend the hot months pregnant than breastfeeding postpartum.

2. Some sort of sweet bread or muffins for breakfast

Having friends bring you dinner or freezing meals while pregnant is fantastic and quite helpful. But I find sometimes making breakfast is harder than making dinner. For dinner, at least you have several chances throughout the day to make something (although it still might not happen). You'll almost certainly wake up starving after sleeping all night (ha, just kidding), and it's unlikely you'll have time to make something. Bake some banana bread (or healthy whole wheat bran muffins or something if that's your thing), pre-slice it, and then you can grab a slice, eat it one handed, and it doesn't get cold or soggy if it takes you an hour and a half to eat it. The giant box of granola bars from Costco accomplish the same thing, but I'm not in the camp of "now that I'm a mother I don't even care how food tastes I only care about my child". Nope, food should still taste good. Sorry I'm not sorry.

My mom sent me more chocolate chip pumpkin cream cheese bread. She's the absolute best.
3. Friends on the same wild ride as you

It's invaluable to have friends with older babies/kids who can guide you. I also highly recommend finding someone else knocked up due around the same time as you, within a few weeks ideally. It's perfect if a pregnancy pact with existing friends works out, but if not, use the internet. While I do make most of my friends on the internet these days, I was due two weeks before a good friend I've had since before the internet even existed, unless you count the days when you used AOL to ask A/S/L until your mom needed the phone and you had to log off. Its disturbing to me that there are potentially people reading this that don't have a clue what the previous sentence means.

A baby in a hooded towel always cheers me up.

Anyway, pregnancy and it turns out, babies are different practically day to day and you really need someone to commiserate with at each point along the way. No one understands how pregnancy makes you crazy like another prego, and you need that person to talk you down when you are ready to kill your husband because he made you dinner and used the wrong kind of corn (true life over here). That's not even getting in to all the weird stuff post partum and trying to figure out your baby. Bonus points for friends with babies of the same sex as yours, because diaper changes are unique for each sex.

She also gave me the Halo swaddler, which for us is a lifesaver.

4. A kindle and good books

I got so into the last book I read that I would find myself still reading at 3am after putting Dalton back to sleep. Theoretically you could just read archaic paper books but those generally require light and two hands, which are two things that are off the table for middle of the night feedings. I just started rereading Mockingjay to prepare for the big day next month!

5. The ability to throw your expectations out the window

When I was pregnant, I imagined Dalton adorably snoozing in the Rock and Play next to us sleeping in our bed. I would easily grab him and feed him and then put him back, gaze adoringly at him, then drift off myself. Well, that's not exactly how things have played out. I read in a mom Facebook group to do whatever gets everyone the most sleep, and we are following that advice.

After the honeymoon first week, when he was exhausted from being born, he wanted nothing to do with the Rock and Play.
Week 1 and then never again.

In fact, he didn't want to sleep anywhere but on one of us, so we took shifts throughout the night and day for the second week or so (and still do now as needed).

I wish I could nap like this guy, but I'm broken and can't nap.

It also turns out that babies, this one at least, have two sleep modes - frighteningly silent and still, or loud as hell, grunting and groaning like a full grown adult. When I can resist the urge to constantly poke him while he's in deep sleep to make sure he's breathing, I can sleep myself. But the grunting and groaning keeps me wide awake. Right now Dalton and Eric sleep in the living room at night (Eric can sleep through anything and anywhere, although he surprisingly wakes up when he hears crying like 85% of the time) and I sleep in the bedroom with the door open so I can hear actual cries, but not every little tiny sneeze. It's not what you see in the movies but it's working for us at this moment, and we'll switch it up as need be. We can hang out when we're awake.

Napping in the swing.
My wonderful friend passed this Mamaroo and I'm afraid to say anything about it for fear of jinxing but let's just say he doesn't hate it so far.
6. A really cute, sweet, loveable baby

Because otherwise all this work would probably suck, but I wouldn't know.
Another amazing friend made him this hat. I have some good people in my life.

This is really unrelated but I've gotten some really good advice here. C-section moms: I have random numb parts of my belly, is this forever or will it go away?

Any other advice - motherhood or in general?

Monday, October 20, 2014

Let's clear things up - I'm pro complaining

It's time to clear something up. Two things really, but they are kind of related. Here are two rumors my blog has started (based on both Facebook and real life comments that I've received).

1. I have my act together as a new mom.
2. I'm against complaining.

When this is your view, what's there to complain about?

I promise you, neither of those is remotely true. But I absolutely see how I'm giving off that mistaken impression (although I would guess yesterday's post did some good work to disprove statement #1).

Let's take a deeper look. We'll start with #1.

I don't have my act together. Trust me. I do have something that makes me luckier than literally every other new mother I have ever met. My husband has six weeks of paternity leave and has been home with me full time. I could go on and on for days about how wonderful this is and how grateful I am and how it's a crime that every father doesn't get more leave. I'll just say that obviously I'm able to stay significantly more sane with only 50% of the parenting duties, not to mention having another adult around who is not filled with crazy postpartum hormones to talk me down if need be.

Or I could just stare at baby feet in socks that look like sneakers.

Second, this is a blog. My internet persona is different than my real life one. I decided in that time I can barely remember, before I had Dalton, that I was going to focus on the positive if I wrote any mommy posts (and then it turned out all my posts are currently mommy posts.) There are more than enough posts, articles, tweets, etc. on the internet to convince someone that parenthood is the worst mistake a person can make, or at least it feels that way when you're pregnant and terrified. My blog didn't need to be one more.

It will be a happy place of bright colors and cute babies!

On to #2.

I'm not anti complaining. I see that Facebook thing that's like "Go 24 hours without complaining and your life will turn around and be full of free money and calorie free chocolate!". I doubt I could last even an hour. Complaining is actually a good thing (or maybe we should call it venting), in my humble opinion, because it lets you get your frustrations out in a healthy way that doesn't result in you getting fired or divorced or some other disastrous consequence. Having other mothers to commiserate with is essential.

I just think complaining about your family (and that includes your baby, even though he or she is too young to understand) falls into the vast, underrated category of "things to tell your real life confidants and not your random Instagram followers". I can text my mom or sister or BFF and let out my frustrations about the baby being up half the night, and they are well aware that doesn't in any way affect the intense, unconditional love I have for him. Tweet the same thing out to a few hundred followers, however, and they might not necessarily be so sure. Plus, who knows what will happen to this series of tubes we call "the internet", but I hate the idea of Dalton eventually finding a giant collection of my complaints that make it seem like I hated caring for him (which couldn't be further from the truth). I'm not claiming to know much about young children, but in a decade of teaching, I have learned that kids figure out technology way before you might expect.

He'll be proficient with an iPhone 6 in a week or so.
I'm not saying I'll never post anything that's not sunshine and rainbows. But posting complaints about life with a baby should follow the same rule as posting selfies. If you post an occasional one, that's fine. But if you look at your Instagram profile and find your own face staring back at you over and over, you've gone too far. It's not a good look.


I don't want it to sound like I've been posting disingenuous happy posts. I've 100% meant everything I've said. The takeaway here is that when I'm sitting down deciding "what do I want to write about today?", I'm aiming to mostly go for the part about how I just can't stop kissing those plump chubby cheeks rather than the low number of hours of sleep we got last night. That's boring anyway. I think at this point even the most childless bachelor knows that babies make you tired.

In the comments of this post, it's a safe place to complain about anything you want.




Sunday, October 19, 2014

Life before and after baby - a then and now comparison

I say a lot of things sarcastically, but this is not one of them. This weekend was one I'd been fantasizing about for a long, long time.

Not because I finally had a cider donut. But it was awesome.

Why do all my pictures have random feet in them?
 Not because I finally had a poorly photographed glass of wine. But I did.
Because this.

I can't even stand it.
I could barely even wait for the pee to dry on the test before I got my nephew on FaceTime to tell him he was going to have a cousin. He wasn't even one and a half at the time, so he wasn't terribly impressed, but his mom was excited enough for both of them.

I could go on and on and on about all the love and cuteness from their visit, but this is a public blog and that sounds better suited for my personal memoirs. So instead, I'll do a little comparison of life with and without a baby: now and then.

Obviously, caring for a newborn means my day to day life has been turned upside down. But I'm on maternity leave and literally doing nothing but caring for Dalton. I feel like it's not real life yet since I'm not balancing it with other responsibilities.

This weekend I actually saw people and did things, and started to get just the teeniest tiniest inkling of how life as a mom is a bit different from before.

Then: When my sister and I visited each other, we'd engage in competitions. Let's just say flipping cups was involved.

Now: My sister and I engaged in competitions. To see who could complete the fastest diaper change (she won).

Her teammate was much more cooperative.
 Then: On Saturday nights, we would get dressed, grab our purses and go out.

Now: Well, first we had to provide a toddler lunch. Then naptime. Then the baby needed to eat. Then we needed to make sure we had the sippy cup, spare diapers, coats, pacifier, burp cloth, blanket, try to catch the toddler before he ran down the stairs in impatience because it was taking forever to get the baby in his car seat (because his parents are still learning). Once we finally got to our destination, the pumpkin farm, around 5pm (which was only a mile away, BTW, but we needed two cars), we had to get everybody out of their car seats and get the baby in to the Ergo. Parents of two or more kids - you deserve a medal if you go literally anywhere. ANYWHERE.

But we all made it.
Then: Eric and I sometimes went places like restaurants or bars on Saturday nights.

Now: We went on a hayride.

And I looked really tired.
Then: Eric liked to do activities meant for children.
Now: Some things don't change.

"My child is too young to enjoy this? DON'T CARE."
Then: Dance parties

Now: Dance parties (ignore my voice I was trying to FaceTime my mom in and having technical difficulties).

Dalton and I also went to my good friend Conor's baby shower this weekend - her little boy will be here next month! I can't wait for us to meet him! (ETA - I just realized I totally changed the writing style for this part but oh well I'm not redoing it now blogging isn't graded.)

Mimosa in a baby bottle - how cute is that?
As a 31 year old woman, this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to attending showers. But going with your baby is a horse of a different color.

Then: RSVP to the shower.
Now: RSVP to the shower via unnecessarily long email explaining that I don't know if I'm coming because I just had a baby and I want to go but I'm scared about taking him out so I'll do a trial run and get back to you. A week later get an email back saying I sent the email to the wrong person because typing on very little sleep is hard, apparently.

Then: Light breakfast before the shower to save room for all the deliciousness sure to come.
Now: Light breakfast before the shower because Dalton eating and actually showering myself take precedence and I run out of time.

Then: Get dressed in a cute, weather and event appropriate outfit.
Now: Frantically go through my closet trying to find something that
A. easily allows me to whip the girls out
B. doesn't have a zipper or buttons (because get real)
C. hides the belly
D. For an extra challenge it's about 20 degrees colder than every other day so far. Although that's not necessarily a factor because of crazy hormonal hot flashes (see above pumpkin farm picture where everyone but me is in jackets and pants and I'm in short sleeves and a thin skirt).

Settle for just A and B and decide to hold the baby over my midsection.

Then: Get in the car and drive to the shower. Either rock out or listen to a book on tape.
Now:  Check the weather obsessively to decide what Dalton should wear and layer him up. Gather everything Dalton's ever owned (see above re: pumpkin farm preparation), plus the gift. Put him in his car seat. Carefully arrange his blanket to block the sun from his eyes. Start driving Dalton starts screaming. Decide I'm the worst mother ever and that I'm not going. Pull over to 711. Give him his pacifier. He's fine. Continue to the shower with radio on so low I can't even tell what song is on and turn it off every minute to make sure I can still hear him sucking and therefore breathing.

Then: Get a gift off the registry. Any gift, she choose them, who cares, baby stuff is boring.
Now: Forget to get a gift. Realize the shower is in two days. Look at the registry while breastfeeding and get sucked in to trying to figure out what baby item will get me more sleep. Order a diaper genie and some other stuff for in store pickup and frantically try to put credit card information in one handed like 6 times before I get it right. Race to Babies R Us in between feedings and realize the diaper genie is giant and I'll never be able to get it and the baby anywhere and why didn't I just choose something like a freaking crib sheet?

Then: Arrive at shower, greet mom to be, chat with friends.
Now: Arrive at shower hauling the baby in the car seat and the diaper bag, tell people no one can touch the baby, tell a reliable friend to watch him and DON'T LET PEOPLE TOUCH HIM IT'S FLU SEASON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD while I make a second trip out to the car to get the damn diaper genie that's ten feet tall. Finally attempt adult conversation but it's really more like this scene from when Carrie first visits Miranda and newborn Brady on Sex and the City (NSFW!).

Then: Stuff my face with delicious food and booze.
Now: Feed Dalton, ask friend who has now been relieved of baby guard duties to get me something to eat as she refills her drink. When she asks what, tell her anything I can eat one handed, then have her hold the plate as I cram a mini sandwich down my throat before it's time for a diaper change.

She saved me.
Then: I could take or leave holding a baby. I do not feel in any way qualified to care for a baby.
Now: The shower's host who I've never met, (my friend's aunt) offers to hold Dalton so I can eat. I politely (hopefully) decline because I'd rather starve. To death, if necessary. She insists. I tell myself that many, many other people are capable of caring for babies. This is evidenced by the world being full of functioning, healthy adults. I acquiesce and hand him over and she goes in the other room (because still - flu season) and gulp down some food that I don't even taste and drink that little bit of mimosa pictured while my heart is pounding and I feel sick. Dalton is fine and loves it and is well cared for and doesn't even know he's not with me.

Then: Put my gift with the others and suffer through a million "oh so cute!" onesies and weird crap that I don't care about and finally watch as the mom to be opens my gift.
Now: Alternate between panicking because I can't see Dalton and watching raptly to see what other baby products I don't know about that I might need to fill up all the empty space we have (sarcasm, every inch has baby items). Get confused when she gets to the end and hasn't opened mine. Try to figure out if I brought it to the wrong room, or in my reduced mental state, maybe even the wrong house. Get up and look for it and my friends tell me it was opened while I was changing a diaper. Mystery solved.

Tell me a story about something you were needlessly paranoid about to make me feel better, please and thanks.


Thursday, October 16, 2014


While I was incredibly proud of myself for taking the baby on a twenty minute walk all alone, I was thinking about how my definition of an "accomplishment" has drastically changed. I tried to think of what I would formerly consider an accomplishment, and it took me about half the walk. So we can cross "thinking" and "remembering" off the list for sure. I guess things like race PRs, good grades, doing well at work, things like that.

Nowadays, it's a horse of a different color. Babies really are all consuming. While we were trying to figure out what to watch on TV the other night, we realized that neither one of us knew what day of the week it was, but we did both know when Dalton last ate, peed, pooped, and how long he had been asleep. You really have to think for two people, even if one is tiny, so brain-space wise, something's gotta give.

However, in terms of my new definition, this week is essentially equivalent to a Nobel prize. Just take a look.

1. I wore the baby. Sounds easy, but I had to watch a YouTube video on how to use the Ergo. Twice. And to further complicate things, the baby in the video wasn't crying or squirming or really doing anything at all. Come to think of it, it didn't even seem like a real baby, it was more like an Olsen twin from season 1 of Full House.

The positioning gave him unlimited access to his hands, which is a big deal in his world. He loved life.
2. I wore the baby a second time, and left the house WITHOUT ANOTHER ADULT (which inspired this post, as mentioned above). There was a false start, when I realized I couldn't hear him over the traffic and couldn't feel his breathing with the wind, but after going back inside and verifying that he was breathing, we did enjoy a successful nap/walk.

3. We rounded out the week three for three, and I took Dalton on a car trip, again just the two of us. It was terrifying, but I had to remind myself that he actually had been with me every time I'd been in the car since we rang in the year 2014. He was probably even safer in a car seat and not near an air bag. Still frightening though.

I hadn't driven in over 3 weeks, so it was a real adjustment.

We went to a new mother's group hosted by the hospital.

This was actually the day before on a playdate with Carolyn and Nathan, but if I had asked to take pictures of a stranger and her baby for my blog then I would never make new friends and that's hard enough for me as it is.

He was a champ, so we kept it rolling and went to the farmer's market and Trader Joes, and I wore him (and he slept) the whole time. I kept waiting for someone to stop me and be like "hey! Give me that baby! Having a baby is for real adults. You can't just be walking around in public, wearing that baby, thinking you're a mom."

I don't know if I have a bit of hipster in me or if it's just more stuff white people like or what, but I just love this farmer's market. It's only open Thursday afternoons, so I can usually only go in the summer, and all summer I fantasized about how Dalton and I would go together on my maternity leave, and I was so excited to finally be living the fantasy. Dream big.

4. My incision hates me so much less. I showered and it didn't hurt. Furthermore, I moved  past my fear of my guts spilling out and didn't even sleep with my ab binder last night. (Apparently ab binders are a thing to shrink your belly, but that's not what this is, mine is from the hospital and designed to cover my incision and help me heal from surgery.) Last week, I was in constant pain while the binder was in the wash. This week, I washed it and didn't even feel the desire to put it back on. I'm not sure this is technically an accomplishment, but it's my body putting itself back together, so I'm counting it. I didn't even have to eat any organic kale for it to happen.

~Imagine a gross incision picture here~

5. I pumped and Dalton had a bottle. Pumping was scary for reasons that are better also left to the imagination.

The only possibly appropriate picture.
That's actually his fourth bottle. Just saying.
I know a baby doing something one week is far from a guarantee that they are solid on that skill, but this really went a long way towards reassuring me that I won't have to choose between quitting my job and selling an organ to make ends meet or starving my child. Not that I was worried or anything.

 6. I gave this kid a bath. All by myself. The neighbors didn't even call social services. So, so much screaming.

7. I walked to the store, bought ingredients, and cooked dinner for us. That's the first time since Dalton was born that I cooked anything but banana bread or lactation cookies. I made pesto chicken stuffed peppers, which I highly recommend by the way.

8. I made a date for a night out. I'm going to see Mockingjay the weekend it comes out (the end of November). It doesn't really count since Dalton will be with Eric, but it will still be the longest I'll be away from him and that's scary, which I realize sounds crazy if you don't have kids (it did to me).

9. I'm still devoted to promoting whooty awareness, but now I'm also working on disproving the idea that boys clothes are less cute than girls. Check this guy out.

A little froggy! It has a tongue sticking out that you can't see.

Another thing I used to think sounded crazy was "he/she is growing so fast!" at weeks old. It's not crazy.
Work it.
Let's all brag and share accomplishments and hug and post gold stars!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Parenthood - the unexpected (but no poop stories)

So while I do mainly mock and ridicule blog and social media posts, one that I kind of like is what people find is unexpected about life as a parent. So here's some stuff.

1. I'm a billion degrees

Before I was pregnant, I was the freak show shivering in a sweatshirt in August. Being pregnant pretty much caught me up to the temperature of those around me. Today, I went to the grocery store in a tank top and shorts and was totally comfortable. As I looked around in the checkout line, I realized everyone else was in pants, long sleeves, and occasionally jackets. So that's different.

2. I thought I did strength training while pregnant to prepare to constantly carry my baby

I was wrong. What I really needed those bicep curls for was to arm wrestle my baby. I thought the Twilight series was just a guilty pleasure, but it turns out they were right about newborns having superior strength. The other thing about newborns that I've learned is that they fight their own survival. This kid will yank his food source out of his mouth and start sucking his fist instead, and no amount of explanation from us will convince him that no nutrition is available that way. You would think it would be easy for me, as an adult, to just take his fist away, but no. It is not easy.

Looks innocent, but he's secretly a bodybuilder.
3. Babies don't read

Specifically, the baby books and the baby item product reviews. Kara was nice enough to pass down her Rock and Play. It's the Rolls Royce of baby beds. In fact, if you google ways to help a two week old sleep, like 95% of the responses say to buy a Rock and Play. Try it. Dalton isn't so convinced, and really prefers to sleep on one of us. I can't really blame him though, his father is renowned for his hugs.

They are both pretty awesome.

4. The night is dark and filled with (even worse) terrors

I went into pregnancy with a crippling fear of needles, and I got out of it with five tries to put an IV in and a needle in my spine and I didn't completely succumb to panic. I was patting myself on the back for becoming slightly less phobic due to all those blood draws in the past nine months. Well, the joke was on me, because it turns out that things can get much worse than dealing with a fear of needles getting stuck into you. After pregnancy, people want to stick needles into your baby.

I haven't even really dealt with it yet. He got his post-birth tests/blood draws when I was cracked out on morphine and didn't even know what was happening. Then he got his follow up PKU test last week, and I left and hid in the bathroom and ran the water so I couldn't hear anything (Eric stayed). I might do the same for the one month vaccines. I realize this is a prime opportunity for people to say "just wait until ___", and I realize I will have to deal with it someday, but today is not that day.

5. I don't need to know lullabies

One of the weird ass things I got nervous about towards the end of pregnancy was not knowing any songs to sing Dalton to sleep. It turns out babies don't care, and you can sing Katy Perry instead of Rock a Bye baby, and it works just fine.

6. I don't always hate physical contact

I'm renowned for hating hugs, and generally touching of any kind. Two people sent me this article. But I often have to force myself to stop hugging and cuddling this guy. I never want to not be snuggling with him.

He's just so squishy and kissable.
7. Not all infants are boring.

They're all so cute. But let's face it - as great as it is to hold other people's kids, they don't do much. Especially at this age. Adorable, but not interesting. Unless it's your own kid. Then every yawn, sneeze, and blink is fascinating. Really. I have actually watched a video of him hiccupping when I missed him while he was sleeping. This one isn't technically that unexpected, because I'm the same way with my nephew. I'm including it though because it was something that concerned me before I became an aunt.

8. Mommy brain is worse than pregnancy brain

This is also something people warned me about, but I'm including it anyway because if you actually listen to everything people warn you about while pregnant you'll definitely lose your mind. I'm also including it because the actual #8 came to me while I was working on this post, and I grabbed my phone to record it in the notes section with the rest of the items on the list. Literally by the time I unlocked the phone I had lost the thought, and I swear I do not just throw the word "literally" around unless I mean it.

9. I became a caricature of a mom. It happened before I expected.

I got really brave today and we went for our first outing (a walk down our street) just the two of us, mother and son. I got the diaper changed, put Dalton in a fresh, cute outfit, and brought the baby carrier out and started to put it on, announcing "ok, we're all ready to go on our walk!". Yeah, one of us wasn't ready. One of us was in a spit up stained nursing tank, pajama shorts, and had hair sticking up like a cartoon character who just stuck a finger in an outlet. Full disclosure - I put on a headband and pants, but the spit up tank remained.

I had another one about poop but there's enough of that on the internet, and I wouldn't want someone blogging about my bathroom habits, so maybe I should give my kid the same consideration.

Unrelated - if you are interested in reading and reviewing my aunt's book (I posted about it yesterday), or really, if you don't know if you are interested, you can read the first chapter on her blog. It's a fantastic dystopian novel.

What was unexpected about a major life change for you?


Monday, October 13, 2014


Having a newborn is weird, in terms of time. One minute I'm pouring a cup of coffee at 8am and then I look at the clock and it's like 6:30 at night and I'm wondering where the day went. It's also confusing how I once worked out, worked a full day, and possibly did errands and made dinner in this time, and now I've just watched a lot of daytime TV and barely fit in a shower. But then I remind myself that I kept a tiny person alive using only my own body, and give myself a gold star and move on.

This outfit. I can't stand it.  

Similarly, even though a baby is all consuming in terms of time, he is not all consuming in terms of intellectual stimulation. Unlike caring for an older child, or really any other task on earth, your ass is glued to the couch like 82% of the day. Not complaining. I could watch him yawn, blink, stretch, and look around all day long. I even have an adorable video of him doing these things, but I'm not posting it, because generally only the parents are fascinated by this. The problem is, at this point, he's only awake to entertain me like 7% of the day. (The other 11% of time is accounted for by sleeping and feeding myself.)

When he's not eating, there's a lot of this going on.

My husband captioned this "you cut off your face because you know what people want to see now".
Cuddling with him while he naps is glorious. But it's not fascinating. I need a little extra entertainment.

I mentioned we started watching The Strain. Well, On Demand really screwed us there. We were like 45 minutes into an episode when Dalton woke up and needed our attention, so we stopped it. When we went back to it later that night, you apparently can't fast forward? We were forced to sit there and replay nearly the whole episode on mute like total chumps. I realize this is a major First World Pain, but it happened and it's real.

Just felt like it was time for a cute picture break.

Since then we've been gun shy with serious dramas, and focusing more on sitcoms. Partially because they are shorter, partially because they just require less brain power and attention. We even decided to start A-Z last night, and watched episode 2 followed by episode 1, because numbers are hard. It didn't really affect our enjoyment. We also watched Black-ish, and actually laughed out loud.

I also spend a lot of time reading on my kindle, particularly during middle of the night feeds. I'm obsessed with Kristin Hannah's books right now. She's in the same genre as Jodi Picoult, in my opinion, whatever you want to call that genre. It's a step above total garbage chick lit (which I do enjoy), but well below complicated, Game of Thrones level literature. Just the right level for me to read at 3am and still comprehend.

I guess food isn't technically entertainment, but it's important. As promised, we tried the Little Caesar's pretzel crust pizza.

Verdict - you probably can't do better for a $6 dinner for two, but it's nothing life changing. It falls into that odd category of combining two delicious things (pizza and pretzels) and the whole is less delicious than the parts. I think I would have been happier with just eating crazy bread for dinner. Next up on our pizza tasting: the Pizza Hut bacon crust.

In our numerous hours of television viewing, we saw a commercial for these.

Apparently I'm not as up on innovations in the taco world as I thought I was, because I was shocked and amazed, but Eric informed me these stand up tacos have existed for years. How did I not know about these? I was so upset. Eric made a taco bar using them for dinner for me to cheer me up, and they were all I hoped for and more.

He even cooked during Sunday football!

Anyone else who likes to read for entertainment, and also likes free stuff, here's something for you. I mentioned awhile ago that my aunt wrote a book, and she let me read it as her beta reader to offer her feedback. I said that I was kind of terrified of that responsibility, because it might be really awkward if I hated it, especially since I'm a terrible liar (the Carrie Bradshaw/Berger analogy) but luckily I actually loved it. It's being published on Amazon! I'm going to reread the final version (so now you know it's good, because I could easily just pull the new mother card and say I was too busy), and she's looking for others to read it and leave reviews when it is published on November 30. If anyone wants to read and review it, just email her at and she can send you the e-book. And also let me know because I love discussing books!

Here's the description:

The Girl With the Half and Half Face
By Leslie Miller

Defying the Core Has Consequences . . .

Eighteen-year-old Kayli-el is part of a new, evolving species on her planet, with an internal guidance called the Core. After her teacher is murdered for its secrets, Kayli-el runs for her life, right into the arms of Tamber, a boy who’s crossed the ocean on a mysterious quest . . . to find her! When 
the killers capture her best friend Serene, Kayli-el faces a choice with potentially deadly consequences: follow her Core’s wisdom and flee across the ocean to safety with Tamber, or defy her own guidance to try and save Serene’s life.  

What's your main source of entertainment right now? Also, let's share opinions on new fall TV shows.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Four things Thursday

1. I fully admit to being dumb and trying to do too much too early and not letting myself recover. I really appreciate everyone who has had a c-section commenting and sharing their experience and saying nice things. I went to my doctor today for my follow up and asked her about what I could and couldn't do, and I summed up her advice as "don't be dumb". She agreed. I will now work on not being dumb. (For the record, my husband did offer to clean the floors but I felt bad since he's already doing everything and did it myself anyway. Dumb.)

2. I'm now allowed to drive again! Although I don't really want to go anywhere, as I have everything I need at home.

But now I can. Luckily for me I'm not really one prone to cabin fever. I'm perfectly happy to have a week of snow days where I don't see the outside world other than through the window. That mentality works out pretty well while caring for your first brand new baby. We did stop at Trader Joes on the way back from the doctor, and I got a few groceries. It was my first time going to a place that wasn't a doctor's office. It doesn't really count since I went in alone while Eric and Dalton stayed in the car, but still. But it was exciting to be in a grocery store and be like "Now I can eat whatever I want!"

3. I made a pregnancy/baby page with all the posts I wrote about pregnancy. There were more than I thought, so I figured I might as well catalogue them. It's been a project spanning several days. I also saved all my pregnancy posts as word documents during the process so I can look back on them someday when Blogger is but a memory. If I'd been smart, I would have been doing this all along, possibly with all my posts. But I'm not smart.

Shocking, I know.

4. I made lactation cookies. I didn't even know this was a thing.

The ingredients that make the magic happen.
Supposedly it works, so, best case scenario, you help your baby, worst case scenario, you just eat cookies. It's a win win. They are cooling now, so I'll report back on the taste (but there's butter and sugar and chocolate chips, so I feel it's safe to say they will be delicious).

I guess they don't actually look like much. Too bad you can't smell them.

One more thing -We are committed to trying the Little Caesars pretzel crust pizza tonight, so hopefully I can report back on that as well. Who said the romance dies when you become parents? We're still living life in the fast lane, clearly.
Would you get cabin fever never leaving your home, or are you more like me and could take or leave the outside world?