Home stretch

Home stretch. Less than 48 hours until go time. Powerade, water, bananas and carbs are my life this weekend (and then after the race, chocolate will reclaim its rightful title).

It's a perfect time for a marathon, because I'm on break from grad school. Try not to be too jealous, but we have a whopping 8 days in between the spring and summer semester. So I'm a free woman until Wednesday! Remember how actual college was a million times better than grad school?

We have a pretty low key holiday weekend planned. Tonight, I really want to overcome my aversion to Friday night movies to watch one of my new favorite celebrities in Silver Linings Playbook. Saturday, I plan to sleep in and be a lazy piece of crap until my shift at work, which is from 3-9pm. 

The marathon is at 6am on Sunday, and it's about an hour away, so I'm aiming to be out the door by 3:45am or 4 at the latest. That doesn't sound ideal, but I really never sleep well the night before a race anyway, so I might as well stay busy at work instead of just twiddling my thumbs at home while I get more and more panicky. Plus, earlier start = earlier finish (ideally), which gives me more time post - marathon to stuff my face and I'm thinking of really being ambitious and busting into a second bottle of wine.

I've got some bad news for my readers. I don't know for sure, but this is an extremely small race (only a few hundred runners, no chip timing), so I'm guessing there won't be a ton of photographers along the course. So I don't think you guys are getting any more gorgeous race pictures out of this deal. But, my mom is also devoted to the cause of giving the readers what they want, and she is working on getting me some pictures from my past that make what's been posted here so far look like glamour shots. I'm not sure when it will be, but just know, it's coming, and it's epic.

As of yesterday morning, here's the predicted temperature for the race. If this isn't PR weather, I don't know what is. 

At the start line, the temperature is 44, feels like 38. Actually didn't realize that until I was typing this post - I may need to rearrange my night tonight to include an hour or two of outfit decisions.

Sunday night, you should be reading a triumphantly (and maybe slightly drunk) written post about a PR, or nothing. The only thing I can think of to do if this goes badly is to delete my blog, Facebook, Twitter, and entire online presence and take up a completely new hobby. Maybe scrapbooking. Or jewelry making.

I'm taking the whole "resting my legs" thing very seriously. No unnecessary movement. I texted the red circle to Eric from bed last night (he has a weird thing about not wanting to go to bed at a time usually reserved for young children). Please note that I would have to walk a maximum of 12 steps to the thermostat.

Laziness is wonderful.

I actually included this for two purposes, to showcase my laziness and as a little helpful tip to any single or dating girls out there. Take a look at the rest of the texts. To maintain a happy marriage, never ever text anything remotely romantic or even personal. Save that for real life only. You're welcome.

There's no tracking system, and no one is going with me to the race, so you'll all just have to wait in anticipation for around 10am until I finish! I don't know how you'll handle it, but somehow we'll all get through.

Fill in the blank: _______________________________ is my life this weekend.

Three things Thursday

Here's 3 things I've been doing (besides checking the weather obsessively and trying not to wet my pants) to prepare for Sunday's marathon.

1. Easy workouts

Yesterday I did 32 minutes on the elliptical. Speaking of the weather, while I was on the machine, the guy on the news told me that whatever front is making it super hot and humid this week is on its way out. By Friday, according to "reliable models". I think if there's one thing we all took away from Snowquester this march, it's  that models are often not to be trusted. Or, that weather is predicted based on models. But still, I'm trusting that guy.

I did a 3 mile run this morning (9:39 pace), and it felt more like a 3 mile slog. I think my alarm went off during my REM cycle, or something, because I woke up completely confused and felt like I'd been drugged. I almost turned it off, but I have huge plans tonight - the third grade recorder concert. I can't miss that, so I somehow managed to get out the door, but since the run was only 3 miles, I never really had time to wake up. Not my finest work, but I did manage to run up behind Eric while he was walking to his car and scare the crap out of him. So there was that.

2. Bikram

I packed all my stuff to go yesterday after work, but it wasn't really appealing. My classroom was over 80 degrees before 9am, so really my whole day was like Bikram. 



Except for the stretching. And relaxation. And silence. But the sweating was pretty similar. I went anyway, and the instructor actually paused the class to complement on my dancer pose, or whatever weird name Bikram calls it. I don't think I've ever gotten a yoga compliment.

3. Eating healthy

Yeah, whatever, it's a cliche, but it's happening anyway. The only alcohol I've had in the 11 days since the Delaware Marathon is a tiny little cup of sangria. I've also tried to really reduce my sugar intake. Not crazy Whole30 level restriction, I'm still fine with cereal and pasta sauce and stuff like that, just not things that are blatantly desserts. In fact, I haven't had any desserts since the race. Except Kari's DoubleTree cookie that she forgot in our hotel room, but what was I supposed to do, throw it away? And my friend in grad class made really good chocolate chip blondies for our last class Tuesday night. It would have been just rude not to try one. And just as rude not to take some home when she asked me to because there were tons of extras. But still, for me, that's an extremely low dessert intake. I'll be watching the mail for my gold star. 

I have had lots of yonanas, which perfectly aligns with my goal of eating at least 2 bananas each day.

Does NOT qualify as dessert, but still delicious as its own thing

Do you try to eat healthier or eliminate any specific foods before a race?

More proof that I make wise choices

Within about a minute of pressing publish last night, I got two texts telling me how hard my race pictures were making people laugh. Based on comments, emails, and further phone contact, I get the impression that I spread a lot of joy and laughter last night. You're welcome, world. My writing may fall short, but my race day expressions never let me down.

 As a thank you, I decided to bring back a couple oldies but goodies. 

Myrtle Beach Marathon, 2012

Eyes closed and possibly sneezing?

I can never get enough of this picture. Might be my favorite race pic of all time.

Marine Corps Marathon, 2011. We hated you.

Once again, you are welcome.

I had another run in glorious 99% humidity before work today, but it was weirdly good. I even brought my headphones, which I normally don't for a run that short, but my audiobook was almost finished and I was dying to know what happened. Then it was over before I'd ran even half a mile, but I switched to Pandora and I think it helped pump me up. 

I decided to just take it easy and see what happened and I ended up with a 9:07 pace without feeling like I was putting forth too much effort. My heart rate was higher than usual, but my super smart science-y friend confirmed my rudimentary theory that it was because my body was working extra hard to sweat and cool itself. So now all I need to do is get used to that and completely acclimate by Sunday. Easy.

I'm running Sunday's marathon completely by myself - Eric will be out of town (not that I wanted him to go, spectating small marathons is horribly boring), and my friends that signed up with me aren't able to run anymore. I guess I've never done this before (running a marathon alone, I've run plenty of shorter distances races on my own, I'm not a codependent freak). Usually at least I know another blogger or acquaintance who will be racing. It's pretty weird because I have no one to obsessively email about the weather, so I just have to retreat even further into the obsessiveness of my own mind. 

So the plan Sunday is wake up at the ass crack of dawn, drive up, run 26.2, creepily ask a stranger to take a picture of me for the blog, drive home, get drunk on Moscato, pass out on the couch. Solid.

Last year for Memorial Day we stayed in a gorgeous house on Ocean Isle Beach.

But, this will totally be good too. Running 26.2 is a pretty close second to spending the weekend sipping drinks in paradise. 

Who's got some good Memorial Day weekend plans? I know mine are hard to top, but feel free to try.

I just felt like running

I'm pleased to report that after the mental trauma I experienced not being able to watch The Office finale in real time on Thursday, it was available on Friday. Spoiler alert - Michael Scott had a cameo, aka all my television dreams came true. That night. Let's not even discuss what torture the Game of Thrones producers are putting me through.

I'm gearing up for marathon #2 within a 2 week span, so I'm in that weird interim period where I have no idea how much to exercise or not exercise. 

UGH, I hate exercise.

One thing I do know is that I'm chugging water like a freshmen with beer at her first frat party. In fact, it might be a good idea to do some baking like Kari to sweeten up my coworkers since I'll be begging them to cover my class so I can pee all week. Additionally, I'm doubling down on bananas - two per day is my new minimum. 

 Over the weekend, I took things pretty easy. I hadn't run at all since the Delaware Marathon last Sunday, and Friday I got that feeling.

I swear this quote was in my head the whole time.

I did an easy 4 miler. On Saturday, my BFFs Carolyn, Casi and I had a date. We periodically have either GNI or GNOs (Girls Night In or Girls Night Outs) and this time we changed it to GDO - girls day out. We met for a bike ride and picnic in a park, and Casi even brought homemade sangria in a mason jar. I KNOW, how freaking cute are we, right?!

SO CUTE (read in a Penny from Happy Endings voice).

I hadn't been bike riding since maybe....August? September at the latest? I intended to go running before we met, but I sort of forgot bikes require maintenance and by the time I finished greasing the chains and pumping the tires and everything I only had time for 3 miles, so I did another 3 when I got back. We only biked about 5 miles since it started to rain, and exercise wasn't really the point of the outing anyway. 

Sunday, I actually managed to get up early to run 8 miles before I had to work at 10. My phone played a cruel joke on me. I checked the weather when I woke up and it said something like 50% humidity, which I was thrilled about. But that was from last night. When it refreshed, it showed me 99% humidity. Great.

Running early in super high humidity is my favorite.

 Monday, our faculty meeting was canceled, so I was able to make it to Bikram. I really wanted to do at least one class in between marathons. It's not really on my plan for hydration, but the stretching is just unbeatable. 

As you may have noticed, I just got the pictures from the Delaware Marathon. My race pictures are notoriously (at least among my family and friends) the worst ever, and this time didn't disappoint. 

At first I was really confused, because it started off with this halfway decent shot, and I was like "is that even me? I don't look the least bit mentally ill."

This one was a little more of the race day Alyssa I'm used to (and clearly taken in the last mile or so when I just wanted to curl up and die), but still better than expected. 

Finally I saw this gem, and then felt confident that it was, in fact, me.

I titled this jpeg "God I'm Gorgeous"

This one is hot too. Check out that thigh gap!

#soskinny #getafterit

 I don't remember any other races continuing to take pictures of me after finishing, but thanks Delaware Marathon for providing me with several pictures of me looking completely confused and unable to produce my own name.

"Whaa....?"

So I'd say if we could get rid of this 99% humidity crap I'd be in good shape for the Bob Potts Marathon on Sunday! BTW, my friend is looking to get rid of his bib, so someone out there must want to come run with me, right?

What's your favorite all girls activity? And if I have any male readers, just change it to all men instead of giving me creepy answers.

It's not all sunshine and roses

Field day was a roaring success. I attempted to race one of my most athletic kids and nearly died. I'm not sure what I was thinking considering he had already beaten me in a race when I taught him in first grade, and two years of growth is a huge advantage for one of us and a huge liability for the other.

Remember that time I thought I was going to hot yoga after spending the day chasing kids in 80+ degree weather with god knows how much humidity? Hilarious, right? I barely managed to walk across the street and not fall asleep for 30 easy minutes on the elliptical. 

So that brings us up to Friday morning and I've spent a total of 1 hour, 15 minutes exercising all week. During training that's more like a daily total. On top of that, I only have one more grad class this semester, and we are presenting our final projects, which I'm already finished with. So I feel like I'm swimming in free time this week, and it's glorious. 

If you're familiar with me at all, I'm sure you know that I've devoted that time to sleeping, catching up on TV, blog reading, and the like. No baseboard scrubbing or closet organizing around here.

Exactly.

And yet somehow with all that free time I still didn't catch up enough and screwed us royally. We were all excited to watch the Office finale last night. We were going to watch last night's episode on Wednesday, but I couldn't keep my eyes open and had to go to bed. Actually, I've been exhausted all week. I'll blame the marathon and travel, even though I've already admitted in past posts that I slept like a champ in Tulsa, because if I don't link to those posts they don't count.

When we went to watch last week's episode last night, disaster struck - we weren't one episode behind, we were three episodes behind. By the time we caught up, the finale had already been on for 15 minutes, and Eric just kept wailing "WHY DID WE CANCEL DVR?!". Yep, it's not all sunshine and roses in our lives.

So today, we are doing our best to replicate the sensory deprivator 5000. 

NO SPOILERS.

I tried to cheer myself up before bed. Every week, this website creates "If Game of Thrones Took Place Entirely on Facebook". It's really ridiculous how much I look forward to that each week, but every one has made me laugh until I cried. This one was no exception, and then of course reading about GoT provided me with horrible and terrifying nightmares all night. Worth it.

Any guilty pleasures that you are slightly embarrassed to love so much?

It's my pretzel day

To continue with yesterday's theme of being positive, here's a few reasons why this is a great Thursday.

1. It's my favorite day of the year: field day. Remember how much fun it was when you were a kid? It still is. I'm super non competitive, but for some reason I totally switch to the other side on field day. Anyone in my class can tell you: on field day, it IS about winning. I think this meme sums up my feelings nicely.

Can you believe there's only one more episode?

2. I generally put extremely little effort into my appearance to go to work. My "beauty routine" centers mainly around showering and brushing my teeth. Field day is one of those special days (like pajama day, which my class has already had twice this year and is probably due for a third) when I get to dial it down even more.

3. My Delaware marathon shirt actually fits really well and doesn't have any alcohol logos, so I can wear it for Field Day.

4. I had planned to go to hot yoga after school and now I don't even have to change my clothes! I realized this last night and probably should be embarrassed with how excited I got. Truly, it's the little things in life.

5. I woke up to a notification that a DJ from my favorite radio show is following me. That's celeb status in my world.

6. My wakeup discoveries continued to delight me as I went to get some coffee.

If you haven't seen this movie, watch it now.

That movie is actually what inspired my blog title, so it's near and dear to my heart. I'm not sure exactly what Eric was trying to tell me with that. We don't talk during the day, so I'm pretty eager to hear the story behind this tonight.

There were some downers yesterday. This was on my classroom floor. 

Seriously, what IS that?

We also watched How I Met Your Mother, and were pretty underwhelmed by the mother. On top of that, I have to deal with the depression of that season ending, one more episode of The Office EVER (even though it's lame now), and only 3 more episodes of Game of Thrones. Seriously trifling. 

I ended up doing 45 pretty easy minutes on the elliptical yesterday, followed by foam rolling and stretching. I had to loosen up for field day, and I do feel a lot better today.

Shocking, right?

Because I hate all animals: except for llamas.

What little thing is making your day right now? I love how little things fill me with total joy. Of course, it also goes the other way when things don't go well, but it's better to ignore that. 

Dealing with a bad race: A how-to guide

After my failed race Sunday, I expected to spend the rest of the day like this.

But, it turns out I didn't. Here's my how to tips for staying positive after a bad race.

Tip #1: Don't be an asshole

It took awhile to get back to Baltimore, because there was a huge accident. The time went by pretty quickly though, since I had Ashley to chat with. Plus, only assholes complain about traffic because of an accident. Just try to stay thankful that you weren't the one in the accident. 

Tip #2: Eat awesome food

 I'm still not subscribing to the theory that "just finishing is an accomplishment!". Don't get me wrong, it is, especially your first time. But this was my 10th marathon, and at that point, I knew I could cover the distance, and that wasn't what I was going for. So I had no sense of accomplishment. But I did have a major calorie deficit, and PR or not, I planned to fill it with delicious, unhealthy foods.

Eric, my BFF Carolyn, and I went across the street to this amazing Mexican restaurant and Eric tried guacamole for the first time. It was both exciting and terrifying, because the selfless wife part of me wanted his life to be enhanced by learning to like it, and the (much bigger) selfish part of me really likes having any guacamole in the house all to myself.

Verdict: "It tastes like nothing".

You know you ran a marathon when: your husband weighs 100 pounds more than you, you both order the same dinner, and he brings home leftovers. You don't. Beef enchilada and tamale, if you're interested. 

 Tip #3: Wash it all down with wine for good measure.

I don't have a picture, so please accept this one of how our conversation led to getting out a
tape measure to measure heads as proof.

Tip #4 and #5 and #6: Make sure to get in some movement to recover, but don't waste that movement. Kill two birds with one stone and move somewhere with great dessert. Keep really fun company with you at all times.

I did my very important post marathon recovery walk, a full half mile to Baskin Robbins, where I got a gigantic brownie sundae. Once again, Eric had leftovers (he got whatever their version of a McFlurry is, we don't share desserts). Once again, I didn't. 

Bonus tips - make your friends and family take a timer pic with you for your blog. Everyone loves that.

Tip #7: Have a backup race

I'm delusional enough not to be upset, because I can easily fix my cramping and PR at Bob Potts....right?

Tip #7: Marry for love, but ideally a black guy.

This one actually has more to do with recovery. I'm still sore from the race. Not so much when I'm walking around and stuff, but when I try to get on the floor with the kids, I have that "oh crap, I just ran a marathon" feeling in my legs. I definitely need to be rested for another marathon in 11 days, so I took the past two days off, and I may take today too. I know this is shocking in the blog world, but I mean I took it off from any exercise - no crossfit, no barre, no gym, no exercise whatsoever.

I know what you're thinking: I'm taking a big risk, not burning any calories like that! Especially with bikini season around the corner. But for me, it's safe. My husband actually likes it when my ass gets a little bigger. I'm not trying to promote stereotypes, I'm just living by the immortal words of Sir Mix a Lot.

Who would cancel this?

It's an attitude like this that leads me to believe I wouldn't go far as a trophy wife, so luckily I didn't marry for money.

These are clearly genius tips, so I assume this post will be pinned and bookmarked like crazy. I don't really see how, but if you feel I missed something, add on any useful tips in the comments!