Remington Scarlett Lindsey was born on May 25, 2018, at 7:47pm, 5 lbs, 11.6 oz, 18 inches long.
When I got the scheduled date for my c-section at my first
OB appointment back in November, I just knew it didn’t feel right. I’ve been
saying since the beginning I just didn’t think that date was my baby’s
birthday. And as much as I would roll my eyes at how smug and woo woo that sounds, I was right!
Friday, May 25, I was 37 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I had
ten days left until my scheduled c-section, and I was trying hard to convince
myself ten more days of being pregnant was nothing. I took the boys to daycare
around 8, planning to spend the day finishing making my freezer meals. I had made 3
the day before, a serious accomplishment at that point in my life.
When I got back, I wasn’t feeling too well so I decided to
lie down for a bit before getting started in the kitchen. The previous evening,
I had been getting nervous because I hadn’t felt the baby move as much as
usual. I couldn’t remember feeling it at all that morning, either. I tried some
juice and laying on my side and that got the baby hiccupping and kicking a bit,
so I relaxed and took a nap.
When I woke up, I started on the first recipe, but I just
couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that although I had felt movement, it just
wasn’t as intense and was definitely less frequent. I’ve had this experience
with each pregnancy at some point, and I always hesitate calling the doctor,
even though she always encourages me to. I kept telling myself it was just
because the baby was running out of room this close to the end. Finally, some
friends told me to just call, especially since it was the Friday before a 3 day
weekend.
The office was at lunch, so I took a shower and, oddly,
vacuumed. While I’m normally quite a slob, I’d been on edge once I hit full
term at 37 weeks thinking of someone having to come stay in a filthy house with
the boys if I went into labor, and I had a tiny feeling I might not be
returning that afternoon. I even considered using the special soap the doctor
gave me to use before my c-section, but told myself I was being ridiculous.
After all, I’d had a similar experience just 4 days before Dalton was born, where
I went in, did a non stress test (checking the baby’s heart rate and
contractions) that showed he was fine, and went home.
Still, just in case, I put a few last minute items in my
hospital bag and brought it with me. And downloaded a new book to my kindle, clearly top priority. My
doctor’s office had told me to go to the perinatal center in the hospital, where, after a long wait, they did an ultrasound. Right away even I could see movement
and the heart beating, which was a huge relief. The tech did some measurements
and everything seemed routine. Then she was working for a while doing
measurements on the baby’s head. As they measure, the measurements will pop up
in gestational time, and I kept seeing things around 33 or 34 weeks for the
head. There’s always a huge variation in these measurements since they are a work in progress, at least in my experience with ultrasounds. But consistently
seeing measurements that far off was starting to worry me. I asked if the head was measuring ok and
while she’d previously been quick to tell me everything looked fine, she said
the doctor would talk to me and went to put the measurements in. I waited for a
few minutes, then she came back and said she needed a closer look at blood in
the cord because the baby was measuring a bit small.
I wouldn’t say I was completely panicked by that but I
wouldn’t say I was totally calm either. Of course, she wasn’t able to get the
measurements for a while because the baby began practicing breathing, which
apparently prevents it. We awkwardly sat there in silence and I asked her about
her weekend plans to try to slow down my mind from racing. She got the measurements
and just kept reiterating the doctor would talk to me when I asked further
questions.
The doctor on call came in and introduced herself. She
explained that the baby was measuring small and since I was nearly 38 weeks,
they recommend delivery. Later on, at the pediatrician's office, I was told that's called IUGR (intrauterine growth retardation), and my non medical background newborn haze Dr. Google understanding is that it means baby isn't growing well inside and it's better to let it grow outside.
Even though I had been saying for six months that the baby would arrive early, and had even brought my hospital bag in preparation for this very possibility, hearing it totally overwhelmed me and I immediately started ugly crying. It wasn’t even necessarily upset crying, just all the feels crying from hearing there might be a risk to the baby and the idea that I would be meeting him or her that day. Unlike when you go into labor and are trying to process meeting your baby on top of dealing with the intense physical symptoms (generally PAIN), it was so different just being able to completely focus on the shift that this ordinary day had suddenly just become my baby’s birthday.
Even though I had been saying for six months that the baby would arrive early, and had even brought my hospital bag in preparation for this very possibility, hearing it totally overwhelmed me and I immediately started ugly crying. It wasn’t even necessarily upset crying, just all the feels crying from hearing there might be a risk to the baby and the idea that I would be meeting him or her that day. Unlike when you go into labor and are trying to process meeting your baby on top of dealing with the intense physical symptoms (generally PAIN), it was so different just being able to completely focus on the shift that this ordinary day had suddenly just become my baby’s birthday.
The doctor told me to go up to Labor and Delivery for a non stress
test and to prepare to have a baby! In retrospect I wish I had asked more
questions but my mind was on overdrive just thinking about the boys and who I
needed to call to get them taken care of. I had called Eric while waiting for
the doctor but he hadn’t answered (even though after him not answering when mywater broke with Royce I had told him about 500 times he needed to have his
phone on him every second and answer every call from me). I went out into the
lobby and called my friend Carrie. She answered jokily asking “is it time?” and
then when I was just crying into the phone she realized it really was go time!
She is amazing and jumped into action, told me everything would be under
control while she picked up the boys from daycare and they would have a
sleepover at her house.
Once I had gone back and forth giving both her and our
daycare provider all the necessary information, I tried calling Eric again and
got voicemail again. It wasn’t long after dismissal, so I called our school and
had the secretary page him. This got his attention, but then in the confusion
of having the secretary relay the message and trying to check into labor and
delivery, somehow the part of the message that this wasn’t an emergency or a
time sensitive situation at all got lost.
I had last eaten around 11am, so they told me they would do
the c-section sometime after 7pm, to give me 8 hours between food and surgery. I
checked in to labor and delivery around 3:30pm, got dressed in the hospital
gown, and started hanging out on the fetal monitor. Luckily right away it
showed that the baby was doing great, and the nurse was wonderful about
continuing to update me that baby was doing well. After being checked this way
in triage several times in the past (the first time in the hospital withDalton, the second time in the hospital with Dalton, maybe with Royce but I can’t
remember), I can safely say it’s a lot more pleasant without contractions! I
was just relaxing, chatting with the nurse, texting friends, and trying to get
my head around meeting my baby in just a few hours.
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| Crying + super pregnant = super attractive. |
Somewhere in there I did manage to talk to Eric and explain
the situation, so he ended up going home first to get his hospital bag and put
away the food I had left out in my aborted freezer meal preparation. I also
called my mom to update her on the fact that the baby would be arriving that
night! Our original plan had been for her and my stepfather to come the day before our scheduled c-section and stay with the boys. I told her there was no rush to
come down since Carrie was watching the kids and Eric could always go home and stay with
them the following night. Plus, she was supposed to watch my niece and nephew
that weekend. She told me she would call me back, and called back about 5
minutes later to say they were coming that night. I felt bad they would have to
drive so late but I was definitely excited to see them!
After a lot of waiting around, the anesthesiologist came in
to go over the procedure with me. I was starting to get really nervous.
Everyone there was like you’ve been there done that! It’s different in labor
though! I’m sure someone explained the procedure and risks of the epidural to
me before but while dealing with contractions I probably didn’t listen and
definitely didn’t care. When I was actually able to focus my full attention on
it, it was pretty scary to hear about all the stuff they would be inserting
into my spine. He was great about reassuring me that everything would be fine though. I also trust my doctor completely, and the assisting doctor was the man who had delivered Dalton, even though neither of us remembered each other! That seemed like a good omen.
The anesthesiologist left a little after 7, saying they
would take me to the OR pretty soon. At that point, we decided to take out our
list of names and settle on a boy’s middle name, and a girl’s name period. We
got the boy’s middle name pretty easily (because, really, it’s just a middle name).
We had come across the name Remington on the Baby Name app, which is like
tinder. You both swipe right and left to show whether or not you like a name, and you
get notified when you have a match. We actually first found the name right after our
20 week ultrasound, and it had been on our short list, but I just couldn’t
commit to that or any other girl’s name. Scarlett was one of our other top girl
choices. It had been our agreed upon girl name for both previous pregnancies.
As we waited to head to the OR, Eric suggested Remington Scarlett, and used an
app to write it (like, in his handwriting, not typing) on his phone. I suddenly
really liked it, but still said we had to wait and see the sex.
They came and got me around 7:15. It was so weird to walk
into the OR! I entered through the employee door, too, so I got a behind the
scenes view. It was very surreal being
in the OR. Of course, I’d been there twice before, but it’s still a bit
frightening seeing all the instruments and medical equipment they are about to
use on me. They warned Eric that it would take about 20 minutes to prep me, so
he would be waiting outside the door for a bit but that didn’t mean anything was
wrong. I found a series of these pictures on his phone later, so I guess he
passed the time just fine.
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They had me walk to the operating table, sit, and curl up in
a c shape. A nurse held my hands while I leaned over a table and the
anesthesiologist did both a spinal block (to numb me during surgery) and an
epidural (for pain management after surgery). Other than the initial shot to
numb the area, it didn’t really hurt but definitely felt weird and I could feel
the thread going in for the epidural. I got some odd funny bone type shocks
down my leg and immediately started feeling numb below the ribs. Once I was
good to go, they laid me down on the table and wiped something on my belly.
After that dried, they started testing me by asking if I could feel different
pinches and hot and cold in various areas on my belly. I felt a little bit of
it which ramped up my anxiety that they were going to start cutting and I was
going to feel everything. Of course, I trust that they know what they are
doing, but I’m not sure anyone, definitely not me, will ever feel totally
relaxed and comfortable lying on an operating table waiting for your abdomen to
get sliced open.
A nice thing about a non-emergency c section is that everyone
was relaxed and chatting with me. That really helped me relax as much as anyone
can in that situation. They did some further belly tests and this time I couldn’t
feel any of them, which was the cue to bring Eric in and get started!
The anesthesiologist had already given me something after I’d
complained of nausea when I first laid down. Apparently the spinal can cause
low blood pressure and nausea is a normal side effect. Once they began the
surgery, I got extremely nauseous again and began dry heaving into a bin they
set next to me. I had kind of hoped to be having a nicer experience waiting for
them to pull our baby out, not being about to throw up all over the table. Just
before I actually puked, I guess he got my blood pressure back up and the nausea
and dry heaving went away immediately. Then I got the experience I had been
hoping for, just laying there holding Eric’s hand with both of us full of
anticipation.
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| Plus taking selfies. |
We had decided with Royce’s birth that Eric would go behind
the curtain and announce the sex. This time, we had asked to both see the baby
together. Once the baby was out, they removed the blue drape and put up a clear
one. My doctor brought the baby over and held it up excitedly saying “look!”.
I was pretty sure I was seeing a girl, stared for a moment trying to make sure
there was no penis, and then announced “it’s a girl!”.
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| Remington being born! |
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| Right after announcing "it's a girl!". |
I was in such disbelief I didn’t even trust myself, but none
of the many people in the room were correcting me. While they checked her out
and cut the cord and all, Eric just kept staring at each other and repeating “it’s
a girl! We had a girl!”. We could hear her crying nice and loud and found out
right away that she passed her APGARs (8 and 9!) and was completely healthy. Her weight
was just 5lbs, 11.6 oz – such a teeny little peanut! They brought her to me and
I got to see her little face and kiss her warm soft skin. Then I had to
impatiently wait to hold her while I was stitched up.
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| My first sight of Remington! |
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| Meeting my daughter. Still can't believe it. |
Once she was all ready, Eric got to take her ahead to the recovery room. When they wheeled me in, I couldn’t believe how impossibly tiny she looked in his arms. My mom said she knew it was a girl because in the picture Eric sent confirming the baby was here and healthy, he had a real smile instead of his using cheesing.
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| Proud dad. |
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I had planned to ask the nurse to help me latch her on for her first feeding, but once she was on my chest she was latched on before I could even open my mouth. She nursed for a long time, I was really impressed she didn't need any help, especially being small and born early. I ignored my phone during her first feeding and just focused on staring at her and touching her tiny little self. It's already a blur in my mind, not even a week out, but I'm still glad I had that quiet skin to skin time with her right away.
And that's the story of our little Remi entering the world and becoming a family of 5! As my friend said, "your kids always have to make an entrance!". I'm glad Remington's was still pretty uneventful though, even being a bit earlier than expected. Next blog post up (eventually, when I write it): meeting her big brothers!
Is there actually anything better than tiny baby feet? No, there is not.
