Stupid is as stupid does

Get ready to feel some extreme jealousy when I tell you about what I've got on the docket.

Last January, I ran the PHUNT race. This race is amazing because it's free - everyone just brings an item for the aid stations. It's also a trail ultra in January, so it only attracts those super fun totally crazy type of runners.

Much like this year, last year I had taken some time off training after a November 50 miler and was just slowly gearing up again, so the 25k option (about 16 miles) was perfect. I really wanted to do it again this year, but I procrastinated (which is the leading cause for all problems in this post) and missed the cutoff by one day.

On New Year's Day, my friend Matt let me know spots were open, so I contacted the race director and tricked Kara into coming on board (check out her post for the series of events leading to this wise decision, complete with gifs). The race director reads my blog! I felt like a celebrity!

We had originally planned to do about 15 miles this weekend, so it was just that perfect.

Then I got a startling surprise. As I was chatting with Matt about carpooling, he casually mentioned the course had changed. It was no longer two 16 mile loops, but one big 31.8 mile loop. Meaning...it was 50k, or die trying in the woods.

Well, I haven't ran double digits since the Stone Mill 50 in November, so you might think that right there I was in for a challenge. However, Mother Nature didn't quite feel that was enough.

So, we got some snow today. Here in Maryland, that's front page news. The race is about an hour north, so they got some too. 3 inches according to the RD, 7 according to Kara. Growing up in the tundra of Rochester NY, I'm no stranger to running in snow. I fell so hard on ice one time that my CD flew out of my Discman, that's how long my history with winter running goes back. (If I have any young readers, Discmans and CDs were archaic technology used to play music in ancient times before MP3s).

However, 31 miles in the woods in snow is a horse of a different color. I've done two trail races (PHUNT last year and an 8 miler) where the trails were all snowy, but it was more like snow here and there, not a complete fresh covering.

The good news is that the overnight low there is 2, and the high tomorrow is 30. You know what that means. No melting! The snow will stay snow! The real danger, ice, shouldn't be a problem. There's always a silver lining. Even better, Kara is sending her husband on an emergency trip to Dicks to get us YakTraxx, which are basically snow tires for your running shoes. I've been wanting them for years to help me run in Rochester.

There's one more thing. Remember when I got that terrifying root canal and then came back all cocky, like "it was fine! didn't even hurt!". Well, that was true. Until the following day. And then I was in immense pain, and the stupid prescription strength IB profin they gave me did jack (although it was covered by insurance, which was nice, since I'd already turned over my life savings to pay for the root canal in the first place).

Why is this relevant? Apparently my nerve damage was so severe that the dentist has to treat me to a two-parter. Part 2 is today, and they've reminded me twice that it will be an hour and a half procedure. Then I get to head over to my regular dentist to get a crown put in, and 3 cavities filled. (That's where the procrastination problem I mentioned comes in). I could have done it in two days, but I figured I might as well just stick to one terrible FML day, and also only waste one sick day. And now, today is a snow day, so I'm wasting zero sick days!

Since the pain didn't kick in from root canal part 1 until about 48 hours later, I have high hopes for tomorrow's race. However, this does present a problem when it comes to fueling, since these procedures require a ridiculous amount of novocaine. Basically, I'll have to rely on milkshakes.

In summary: I'm doing a snow covered trail 50k tomorrow that I'm not trained for, and I won't be able to eat tonight.

On a lighter note, three of my friends/family got Poison Study as a result of Wednesday's blog post, and  found out my BFF Nicole has already read it, AND we have a 3 hour train ride coming up together to talk about it! I think this author should send me a thank you note.

Please share a time you make a totally stupid decision and it worked out GREAT. That would be comforting right now.

I could never survive as a hipster

Happy New Year!

 

My night was just as wild as this guy's.

To start with, I met my BFFs for dinner.

 



In front of the Panera fireplace - stay classy, Baltimore.

We were done at like 8pm and were like....now what? So we did what all the cool kids do and got coffee at Panera to go with my newest dessert creation, billionaire bars.
 

 
Let's discuss. Those would be a layer of shortbread, a layer of homemade salted caramel (a new baking achievement for me!), a layer of chocolate chip cookie dough, and a layer of chocolate ganache.
 

Yup.

 

The bars came at a price.

 

 

 

 

Burn blisters. They hurt.

 

They were well worth the pain, though. I'd do it again.
 
In 2014, we pledge to continue to spread whooty awareness.
 

 
After that, I hung out with two of my favorite teacher friends, Kristin and Sue. Pajamas were required.

Not a problem.

That's where things got crazy. I had two whole glasses of red vampire wine, and even topped the second one off.


As I mentioned, I completely sucked at my 2013 resolutions. There's an easy way to avoid that yucky feeling of failure a year from now - lower the bar.
 
May I present: my 2014 resolutions.
 
1. Floss
2. Go to Starbucks every day in January (more info to follow)
3. Skip meals to lose weight
 
I am NAILING this. I flossed and skipped breakfast this morning! Size zero here I come!
 
http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/a26fbe4c4eb17268e52993659eeff16f"> src="http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1294087302493_9524251.png" alt="someecards.com - My New Year's resolution is to lose just enough weight so that my gut doesn't jiggle when I brush my teeth." />
 
Yeah that was a lie. I just slept through breakfast because we went to bed at like 3am. But I made breakfast food at noon, so I'm not sure where that leaves us.
 
It turns out I participated in What I Ate Wednesday, a stupid tradition where bloggers post everything they eat. I just accidentally joined in because I felt all my food was delicious enough to photograph.

 

 

Noon brunch - eggs, toast, and leftover Christmas ham (from Saturday, not actual xmas, I'm not gross)

For Christmas, my mom and stepfather gave me an AMAZING gift. This Starbucks mug with special powers. You can bring it to the bux (I used to work there, I can call it that) every single day in January and get ANY drink you want for free.

I finally tried the Chestnut Praline latte. It's only available in certain cities and that makes it elite and that makes it taste better (and it was already really good).

I love whipped cream so much.

I got the latte as my snack after a 7.1 mile run. I ended up my run at my friend Kristin's house to pick up my car (Eric came after work and took me home last night). I love literally running errands.

I broke in another lovely gift from my parents - our brand new cast iron skillet. Obviously, the first thing I had to make was cornbread. I'd also been craving my dad's jambalaya recipe (I guess if you want to get technical, Emeril invented it). Tell me that meal doesn't get the year started off right.

I used black rice (all we had on hand) which is why the jambalaya looks dark, but trust me it was fabulous.

I used a recipe from an actual cookbook for sour cream cornbread - I know, so 2006, right? It was kind of nice because I didn't have to keep wiping my hands to wake up my tablet. The cornbread was so good it didn't even need butter, and I'm not one to skimp on butter (see: above brunch, billionaire bar recipe, etc....).

 

Plus a billionaire bar. Or 12.

I have an important service announcement. I'm on book 2 a new dystopian/strong female heroine trilogy (listening on my runs) and I'm obsessed with it. I'm going to make a bold statement and say I might even like it better than Divergent. The first book is called Poison Study by Maria Snyder. 

I would never survive as a hipster because it's killing me that no one else I know has read any of them and I have no one to discuss it with. I want everyone to read it and Hollywood to make it into a movie. Yesterday. So let's all do ourselves (and also me) a favor in 2014 and get going on that. I'm not on the third one yet so if it's a Divergent type debacle I can't be held accountable. If anyone reading this has already read it, I'm going to need you to get in contact with me immediately.

I would like everyone to share their favorite Christmas gift (this year), and favorite New Year's Eve memory (any year). So far, nothing can beat my bed specs, and my favorite NYE memory is clearly eating bananas liberally. 

 

2013, it's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun

 
Well, here we are. About to say goodbye to 2013.
 

 



 

My mom reminded me that I really need to savor today, because come midnight, my most prized possession will no longer be relevant.

 

The 12 months of Harrison calendar ends today.

Alright, now let's go through 2013 month by month so I can list everything that happened and then explore my 2013 resolutions in the same fashion!

Or not, because no one cares.

Actually, I couldn't even find my New Year's Resolutions. I wrote them on a paper plate sometime after midnight last NYE, but they had been replaced by Christmas cards. My memory is absolutely terrible, but I was able to infer that I had a temper tantrum  about failing at all of them in early December and recycled the plate.

I didn't fail at all of them though (just the major ones). I did PR in the marathon!

BREAKING NEWS: I took a picture of the plate and posted it in my PR post. I succeeded at another resolution - I cooked more meat!

Also, for the first time, I was involved in a group resolution. To see Ke$ha in concert. With these guys.

This is what sexy looks like.

Well, not my sister (black and white dress), but it was the first picture of the five of us I found, and she has already seen Ke$ha, so we're good.

Those of us who didn't cheap out on the seats took this. Hint: not us. Races don't come free. Sorry Ke$ha.

Like anything, 2013 had good and bad. If I could repeat a year of my life, 2013 would be scratched off the list pretty quickly. 2012 would be a top contender though, or maybe 2008 when we got married. Or any year in college. I could really get on board with having no responsibilities and most of my friends living within a mile radius. It's hard to believe blogs didn't even exist then, and I have to rely solely on actual memories and pictures taken with film to reminisce.

 

I got started on my big 2014 goal yesterday. Sort of. I began my 100 miler training plan with.....wait for it.....a six mile run! I know, it kind of sounds like a run someone might do any old day. But it wasn't. It was on the training plan.

I say sort of because I forgot to add it to Daily Mile, so it technically didn't even happen. I was really busy getting ready to go see Catching Fire again, and if you were wondering, it was just as spectacularly wonderful as it was the first time.

Goodbye 2013. Welcome, 2014, which brings the Divergent movie and Game of Thrones season 4!

What year of your life would you most want to repeat and why?

What are you most looking forward to in 2014? Probably in real life it's my sister's wedding, but reuniting with some of my favorite fictional characters is up there too.

 

 

On track the whole time

 

 

Around this time of year, the social media posts about "eating clean" and "getting back on track" start cropping up. I truly feel bad for all these people, because it must be stressful eating dirty and being off track all week.

 

Personally, my eating was almost exactly on track all week. I haven't had a problem getting off track during the holidays in years. Every single meal was delicious. Most included some sort of holiday treat that I don't normally get to eat. Just a few examples:

• glazed ham
• collard greens
•  pulled pork bbq hash
•  knock you naked brownies
• buffalo chicken dip
•  bacon/caramel/peanut popcorn
• 5 spice millionaire's bacon
•  ham and cheese omelet (I know that's not a seasonal treat but my father in law makes them so much better than I or a restaurant ever could)
• and the one thing I got a picture of - my mom's homemade hot chocolate with homemade marshmallows.

Drinking it in my new Christmas pjs that I'd been wearing since the night before was extra special.



I say I stayed "almost" on track because there were a few instances I hadn't anticipated, and they threw my carefully laid plans for a loop. For instance, I didn't even know I was getting any macaroni and cheese, but it turned out that my mother in law AND my mother made it - they both have signature recipes, totally different, both unbelievably delicious. Also, I'd planned on drinking copious amounts of wine each night, which I did. But I had no idea my sister was also going to introduce me to eggnog spiked with Jim Beam Maple whiskey. Amazing.

Most importantly, I was lucky enough to eat all those wonderful things with people I love. Exactly on track.

There's one person I love so, so much that it's more like a middle school crush. I strategically plan every move in hopes of seeing him. I am desperate for any attention or the slightest indication that he cares about me. Or even knows who I am.



Sometimes, I can bribe him to be near me.

Other times, his love can't be bought.

 Somehow, I was nominated to get up with him on Christmas morning. At first, I was all like "um, wait a minute, the whole point of being an aunt is to experience all of the fun parts with zero of the non-fun parts (diapers, early wakeups, the pain of childbirth, etc) - that crap is for moms,". But once I realized it meant extra time with my BFF, I was on board. He seemed.....not unhappy to see me when I went to get him from his crib, and even sat in my lap to drink his morning juice. SWOON.

I do have to fight Eric for his attention.

He's recently learned some new tricks.

 

 

 

We managed to drag him away from his many new toys long enough to look through our parents' wedding album (circa 1980) with us.

 

Also for him and his father to develop alien eyes.

My family is so freaking good at giving gifts. As always, I was showered with things I never knew I always wanted.  

I have two main problems that plague my everyday life. Being cold and being lazy. My husband attacked both of those.

Super warm and comfy scarf with pockets for when I suffer from frostbite every day at work.

 

Unpictured: electric blanket. It's the third fabulous blanket I've received for Christmas. I guess word has gotten out.

Being lazy isn't really a problem. The problem is that things prevent me from being lazy. Like not having the arm strength to hold my phone up comfortably while playing Words With Friends in bed. Or having to sit up to watch a movie, because I can't see the TV laying down.

That will no longer be a problem.

They work like a charm.

 

It's annoying because I did not inherit this wonderful perfect gift giving gene (Eric did even though he married in) and I suck at giving gifts. But the shirt that goes with Eric's Christmas jammies did make his Facebook profile picture, so there's that.

 

"Keep calm and hate Ohio State". In tight pants.

 

 

My sister got him a sorting hat.

I had to include it just because I love this picture.

I highly recommend adopting my holiday eating plan for next year, and we can all stay on track. I won't lie, you do risking gaining a dreaded holiday pound or two - the horror! But you'll be much happier treasuring time with your loved ones than panicking over every Christmas cookie calorie. If there's one thing I've learned recently, it's that life's too short. Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

 

Best thing you ate this Christmas, and funniest moment. GO.

 

Christmas 2013, the most creative title ever

Merry Christmas!

In light of the holidays, I ventured out of my introvert bubble and actually spent the weekend doing things and seeing people. Most notably, meeting my friend’s adorable new baby. 

LOVE



Also, I watched Love Actually, Elf, and Four Christmases.

 

On Monday, Eric and I drove up to Ohio to spend Christmas with my inlaws. I’m a Christmas nazi, so we normally spend Christmas with my family in NY, and do Thanksgiving or Easter with Eric’s family. But this year, with Christmas being on a Wednesday, it was the perfect storm and we have an extra long break (12 days off!), so we get to see both families for Christmas this year.

How cute is my mother in law?

 

I know every family has different Christmas traditions, but it turns out they have a couple of the same ones as my family.

1.       The mad dash to do all your grocery shopping before the stores close on Christmas Eve, which leads to inevitably forgetting a crucial ingredient, and that results in one family member getting nominated to do the mad dash to find a store open on Christmas day.

2.       Some sort of kitchen disaster.

 

 

 

 

 

Red velvet cake explosion. No one was mad about that one. And it was still delicious.

No offense to Christmas, but I don’t beat Eric at games that often, so this may have been a high point.

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

 

He was not pleased.

 

 

I was born without a competitive bone in my body, and he was born with enough to make about 20 more skeletons. Side note – the words with friends board game is way harder than the mobile version! You have to actually figure out what to play before your turn, and not just randomly place letters and see if it’s a word 20 times.

My 100 miler training technically starts in 4 days. That came up quite quickly. I’m still on a running break until then, meaning I don’t have to run unless I want to. It was pretty easy to want to last week in Maryland, since the weather got up to 70 degrees Sunday. I ran 5 miles outdoors Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and each time I wore a t-shirt and shorts.

 

Ohio was a little different. I woke up to this Tuesday morning.

That was fun.

 

Still, there was no snow on the ground, and no other options for exercising, so I bundled up and went for it. I went three miles and felt great, then I turned around to head back. It turns out that the way back was into the 20 mph winds, and in the great Midwest, there’s no elevation or anything buffer you. I made it though, and then repeated the 6 mile route the next day. On Thursday, it had warmed up to 30, feels like 19, which felt like a tropical vacation, even though it had snowed the night before so the ground was nice and slippery. I’d slept too late and only fit in four miles, but since I’m on a training break, who cares?

 

Those glittens kept my hands ridiculously warm.

 

 

That's all over now though. We arrived in New York last night.

As always, I'm thrilled He isn't.

 

 

My sister got the Cards Against Humanity expansion pack for Christmas.

All I hoped for and more.

 

 

This morning, I considered my choices.

See ya in Maryland, running.

 

 

 

This blog post was brought to you by Harrison, tablet master.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I SURVIVED

Great news. I survived my root canal.

Sort of. After the procedure, I was informed that was only part 1. Apparently I have to visit the specialist twice, then my regular dentist for a crown. So I'm 1/3 of the way there.

As many people wisely told me, the worst part of the whole thing was the bill. Although my anxiety gave that a run for its money. The jury's still out about who the real winner is.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I got a comment yesterday that scared the crap out of me. Apparently someone did have an abscess and the pain was so unbearable that they went to the hospital in the middle of the night to beg for pain meds. I was terrified to go to sleep and wake up to searing pain.

Luckily, I survived, but was up at the annoying hour of 6:30 am. I felt I'd tempted fate enough, no sense risking sleeping any further. Still, I managed to have a nice morning with Christmas flavored coffee, watching more than 10 minutes of the Today show, and FaceTiming with my sister and my nephew. It also included 5 Buffy filled treadmill miles, to really take the edge off.

The way my anxiety works is actually pretty similar to my problem solving method. If I just stick my head in the sand and focus on denial, it's my best chance of survival. In this case, that meant knowing absolutely nothing about what a root canal actually is, other than people telling me they are "not bad".

The only time I had to go to a dental specialist was to have my wisdom teeth removed, so I just assumed it would be like that, and I'd be on a pudding and soup diet. I got myself and several twitter friends all psyched up for milkshake night.

Finally, it was go time. I arrived at the office and saw this. I felt it was a good sign.

They had no idea that I am queen of the cowards.

The doctor was a woman and I instantly loved her. So much so that I barely even minded that she was shooting me up with Novocain within a minute of our introductions. Just a few more minutes after that, she was starting the procedure (and I still had no idea what that actually entailed).

 

Right away, I could feel it and made them stop and give me more shots of Novocain. I wasn't taking any chances there. Then, they went to town with all sorts of crazy medieval torture devices (or so they appeared). I squeezed the crap out of my stress ball, the doctor and technician told inane stories to distract me (again, loved that) and she only had to tell me to stop clenching my shoulders like twice.

 

I was wearing my new Christmas gift from Charm City Run, the Brooks Utopia Thermal Hoodie and she jokingly told the technician to drug me so she could steal it. I don't blame her, it's amazing.

 

Drugged selfie

You were probably too blinded by the gorgeous hoodie to focus on my half numb sexy smile, so here you go.

You. Are. Welcome.

Turns out, you can eat whatever you want after a root canal, especially once the Novocain wears off. But I already had soft foods in my head, and I had to go to the store to pick up my prescription anyway, so I picked up a nutritious dinner.

 

Have you had these fries? LIFE CHANGING.

 

Enough said.

Here's hoping parts two and three will go just as smoothly (they won't be until January). The Novocain has now worn off, and so far, I feel fine. Even better, after tomorrow, I have a full THIRTEEN DAYS OFF WORK!

 

The wonderful news continues, and this time, it isn't even only benefitting me. Aspaeris, the company that makes the world's greatest compression shorts (and now capris!) is having a sale. Until Christmas

Eve, you can get 40% off with the code MERRY.

 

From that one time I ran outside in the month of December.

What is the number one anxiety causing thing in your life right now? And how do you deal? Normally I hit the wine, but I got through this one stone cold sober!

 

 

 

 

 

I think someone edited my letter to Santa

There are a lot of reasons I suck at life, and today I'm going to tell you a story about one.

Once upon a time, a bright eyed, bushy tailed version of myself moved from my hometown in upstate NY to Baltimore, MD, to change the world as a special education teacher. Being young and dumb and confused by the world, it was a tough transition. Eventually though, I became a Maryland citizen, got a library card, found a grocery store, a doctor, and all the other life necessities that one needs.

Except a dentist. At this time, I was living the hip city girl life, basically exactly like Carrie Bradshaw, except wearing flats and solving 6 year olds' arguments about farts rather than writing a sex column. I still kept up with my cleanings, more or less, but bounced around different dentists, trying to find one I liked.

When I got married and moved to the burbs, I knew I needed a new dentist. I hadn't loved that one, and I would also walk the 2.5 miles there through sketchy neighborhoods because it was better than trying to find parking. Now, I was a good 10 miles away, so that was out.

The problem was, I have enough trouble getting motivated to complete time sensitive tasks. Something like "find a dentist" got pushed waaaaay down to the bottom of my to-do list with all the other vague non-deadline items. Plus, going to the dentist sucks, and that wasn't helping.

Then, I started getting a toothache. It gradually hurt more and more, I couldn't chew on that side, etc, etc. I applied my normal method of problem solving, which is to ignore the problem and hope it goes away on it's own. I have about a 50% success rate with this.

Maybe a week and a half ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with throbbing pain all along my gums near the sore tooth. It hurt so bad that I couldn't fall back asleep, and I am really, really good at falling back asleep in the middle of the night. I finally had to take some extra strength Tylenol (I'm not all annoying martyr about it but I hardly ever take pain meds, aside from during/after races).

So, shockingly I was in the 50% of the time where ignoring the problem wasn't working out. Or was I? While my mouth hurt the whole next day, after that, the pain was all gone, like magic! It had worked!

However, I had a sneaking suspicion that things were too good to be true. What got me to finally put on my big girl panties and man up was my recent obsession with Holocaust memoirs. Both stories discussed women in the camps suffering from infected teeth. It prompted me to get my head out of my ass and realize that I'm lucky enough to have dental insurance and a job with sick time and find a freaking dentist before things got even worse.

My friend Kristin recommended her dentist because he was "gentle", and I was sold.  I loved him from the moment I met him. He noted that I checked the "fear of dentists" box on the new patient questionnaire, and asked if it was due to a bad experience. He didn't seem to judge me at all when I explained that I'd had nothing but good experiences, I just have anxiety about needles, medical procedures, pain, and life in general.

He confirmed my suspicion that the problem had not magically gone away. The nighttime pain was the infected nerve attempting to regenerate, and the subsequent lack of pain meant that it had failed, and the nerve was now dead. This is apparently VERY BAD.

I needed a root canal as soon as possible, and until I got the root canal, I would be at risk for an abscess, which would also probably take place in the middle of the night, but would be significantly more painful and more complicated to fix. I can't tell you anything else about what he said because at that point my mind had spiraled down the panic rabbit hole, because:
1. Root canal
2. We're 3 business days out from the holidays, aka a stretch where all dentists will be closed so if this horrible abscess happens I'm totally SOL.

Despite the fact that I had no one to blame but myself and there was no reason the universe should take pity on me, it did, and a root canal specialist is able to fit me in tomorrow.

I thought that was the universe taking pity on me. Until they showed me the $500 bill. That's for me to pay, after insurance has covered their portion. I barely had time to take it in because I'd only gotten a morning sub and I had to rush to work to pick up my class from lunch.

I was so nervous and upset that I was nauseous and didn't eat lunch. That's the first time I can remember being too distraught to eat since my high school boyfriend dumped me when I was 16. Even finding another woman's bra in my college boyfriend's studio apartment after we'd been dating 3 years didn't curb my appetite in the slightest. Quite convenient that this exciting first took place right before a procedure that will most likely render me unable to eat, at least for a short period. No worries though, I was starving by dinnertime.

This really isn't at all what I asked Santa for, but I guess it's what he's getting me, so ready or not, root canal, here I come.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who totally screwed myself with the whole "ignore the problem" genius plan.

I would also like to hear about root canals that were minimally painful and had a quick recovery time. Anything else about root canals just go ahead and keep to yourself.