On track the whole time

 

 

Around this time of year, the social media posts about "eating clean" and "getting back on track" start cropping up. I truly feel bad for all these people, because it must be stressful eating dirty and being off track all week.

 

Personally, my eating was almost exactly on track all week. I haven't had a problem getting off track during the holidays in years. Every single meal was delicious. Most included some sort of holiday treat that I don't normally get to eat. Just a few examples:

• glazed ham
• collard greens
•  pulled pork bbq hash
•  knock you naked brownies
• buffalo chicken dip
•  bacon/caramel/peanut popcorn
• 5 spice millionaire's bacon
•  ham and cheese omelet (I know that's not a seasonal treat but my father in law makes them so much better than I or a restaurant ever could)
• and the one thing I got a picture of - my mom's homemade hot chocolate with homemade marshmallows.

Drinking it in my new Christmas pjs that I'd been wearing since the night before was extra special.



I say I stayed "almost" on track because there were a few instances I hadn't anticipated, and they threw my carefully laid plans for a loop. For instance, I didn't even know I was getting any macaroni and cheese, but it turned out that my mother in law AND my mother made it - they both have signature recipes, totally different, both unbelievably delicious. Also, I'd planned on drinking copious amounts of wine each night, which I did. But I had no idea my sister was also going to introduce me to eggnog spiked with Jim Beam Maple whiskey. Amazing.

Most importantly, I was lucky enough to eat all those wonderful things with people I love. Exactly on track.

There's one person I love so, so much that it's more like a middle school crush. I strategically plan every move in hopes of seeing him. I am desperate for any attention or the slightest indication that he cares about me. Or even knows who I am.



Sometimes, I can bribe him to be near me.

Other times, his love can't be bought.

 Somehow, I was nominated to get up with him on Christmas morning. At first, I was all like "um, wait a minute, the whole point of being an aunt is to experience all of the fun parts with zero of the non-fun parts (diapers, early wakeups, the pain of childbirth, etc) - that crap is for moms,". But once I realized it meant extra time with my BFF, I was on board. He seemed.....not unhappy to see me when I went to get him from his crib, and even sat in my lap to drink his morning juice. SWOON.

I do have to fight Eric for his attention.

He's recently learned some new tricks.

 

 

 

We managed to drag him away from his many new toys long enough to look through our parents' wedding album (circa 1980) with us.

 

Also for him and his father to develop alien eyes.

My family is so freaking good at giving gifts. As always, I was showered with things I never knew I always wanted.  

I have two main problems that plague my everyday life. Being cold and being lazy. My husband attacked both of those.

Super warm and comfy scarf with pockets for when I suffer from frostbite every day at work.

 

Unpictured: electric blanket. It's the third fabulous blanket I've received for Christmas. I guess word has gotten out.

Being lazy isn't really a problem. The problem is that things prevent me from being lazy. Like not having the arm strength to hold my phone up comfortably while playing Words With Friends in bed. Or having to sit up to watch a movie, because I can't see the TV laying down.

That will no longer be a problem.

They work like a charm.

 

It's annoying because I did not inherit this wonderful perfect gift giving gene (Eric did even though he married in) and I suck at giving gifts. But the shirt that goes with Eric's Christmas jammies did make his Facebook profile picture, so there's that.

 

"Keep calm and hate Ohio State". In tight pants.

 

 

My sister got him a sorting hat.

I had to include it just because I love this picture.

I highly recommend adopting my holiday eating plan for next year, and we can all stay on track. I won't lie, you do risking gaining a dreaded holiday pound or two - the horror! But you'll be much happier treasuring time with your loved ones than panicking over every Christmas cookie calorie. If there's one thing I've learned recently, it's that life's too short. Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

 

Best thing you ate this Christmas, and funniest moment. GO.