Friday, July 15, 2011

Do you want people to think you have cantaloupes IN YOUR JEANS?

Remember Wednesday when I posted that there was nothing to freak out about regarding Sunday's 50K because I had no access to information about the 50K? Ignorance truly was bliss.

Apparently doing .46 seconds of googling resulted in some good information, because my friend Mike found me some trail maps and Kara found some descriptions of the race. But I've already spent hours this week doing research for my grad school project so apparently those .46 seconds on google were too much for me to handle.

However, those things all made the course sound pretty good, not too hilly, not too wet, finisher's medals available, the whole works.

Then I got the most confusing email of my life from the race director. It's not so much that I'm freaking out over the email, it's more that reading it made my head hurt and made me question whatever intelligence I thought I possessed.

We are supposed to be doing three ten mile loops around a state park. He spent about 4 paragraph explaining the detailed directions for these "loops" and then sent us a map made by fifth graders. I know, that sounds like my usual sarcasm. But no, that's actually what the email said.

WTF kind of "loop" is this????

Luckily we are running with Perry, who is in Kara's local running group. He was able to decipher the email and sent us this equation to help us out.

x = approx park diameter -- the extra distance everyone covers from center of park to loop & back (actually may not be the same for half-loop courses but I ignored that)
Z = first half of loop
L = full loop
Y = out & back distance done 50K runners each time they go by the mansion and get the special extra out&back -- I forgot about this entirely until I read his description

x + Z = 6.2
x + L = 10
x + L+Z = 15.5
x + 3L + 3Y = 31

L = 9.3  (from 1st & 3d equations)
X = 0.7
Z = 5.5

Um, I took calculus in high school, but as I've recently mentioned, my ten year reunion is coming up soon. I've been wasting all my time running to prepare for this race, when really I should have been having my dad tutor me to brush up my math skills. 
Here's my favorite part of the email though:

I am doing the shopping tomorrow (Saturday) so let me know if you have any special requests – within reason.

This race doesn't have a fancy "menu" for the aid stations like the last 50K - so what should I request? Reese's pieces? Salt and vinegar chips? I mean, obviously boiled potatoes are a must.
My final 50K preparations (at least exercise - wise) were 3 mile runs both today and yesterday. After work today I went on a walk with my friends. I told you my neighborhood was hilly, my friend Sue learned that the hard way today.  
Trust me, she was not smiling like that during the walk.

Did you notice something a little shocking in my apartment in the above picture? Let's zoom in a bit.....

 Yup, a dog.
In my apartment.
 I wasn't happy but my friend Andrea was dog-sitting and I hate dehydration more than I hate dogs, so I had to let the beast up for some water after walking almost 2.5 miles.

 The following pictures were not staged. This was truly what happened when I busted in to my cantaloupe from the farmer's market yesterday.
 Eyes closed in ecstasy.
All part of the hydration plan.

So what do you think - does that seem like a "loop" to you? Do you want to take bets on how far we will actually run, or how long until we are lost in the woods and have to call for help?


  1. Good luck with the "loop". It seems more like a clusterfuck to me. :)

    Also the first cantaloupe picture is awesome:)

  2. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. I'm sure the trail is always close enough to the outside that Kara can clear a trail with the crowbar, and then use it in some creative fashion to obtain food and transport :)

  3. We can always knock some mountain bikers off their rides and steal the bikes if we get lost and need to head back.

    I'm going to ask the race director for Rita's Italian ice and Girl Scout cookies. :)

  4. I'm with Emily. But hey it might turn out not to be a cluster!

  5. Here was my favorite part of the instructions:

    "Don't worry, the Volunteers at #2 Support Stop have been hand-picked for their directional acuity and will gladly be telling you where to go, especially if you are not nice to them."

  6. First: 10 hahahas to you for your pics of Eric in the previous post.

    Next: what an odd race director! I actually think his words about food shopping are wierder than that map, because I suck at all maps in general.

    ANyway, I bet you (and everyone) gets lost, and you run 32.8 miles. GOOD LUCK YOU BADASS YOU!

  7. Girl. This is alllll gonna work out and you'll be fine. GOOD LUCK!

  8. That race is completely ridiculous, but you guys are still going to kill it because you're awesome.

    Also, love seeing the pup in your house...change is good :)

  9. It's not calculus, its algebra. And I don't believe this was really written by Alyssa due to the proximity to a dog.

  10. 50K?! You are so awesome, I hope it goes great!!! You will totally rock it!

    haha love the cantaloupe dive


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.