Monday, November 17, 2014

Ramblings from the sleep deprived

My brain. It is no longer with us. I don't feel too tired during the day because coffee. But then I try thinking and it's a no go. It's not too concerning because breastfeeding and diaper changes don't really require brainpower but it might possibly be a problem when I go back to work. I wonder if I could make Starbucks my career instead, because I could make any drink on that menu exclusively using muscle memory.

The other day Dalton and I went to the grocery store (Wegmans, duh). We live in a third floor apartment. I remember thinking it was hard to carry all those groceries up when I was pregnant. The joke was on me because it turns out it's a lot harder with a screaming hungry baby in a 300 pound car seat.

But back then I didn't get to wake up to this face.

This week the weather did a 180. Earlier in the week it was gorgeous. We went for walks everyday. We met friends and had a picnic in the park.

Then it turned disgusting. I hate it. I didn't even step outside for two full days.

It's terrible.
But the advantage to the cold weather was now I could leave the groceries in the car until Eric got home and make him bring them up. I texted him to tell him.

Just a few hours later he came in the door laden with grocery bags. I immediately got pissed and was like "why would you buy all that crap when I told you I was going to the store today and even texted you to..... oh". Luckily I thought that instead of said it out loud but seriously what is my problem?

Saturday we were going to our good friend's birthday party so I strapped Dalton on and got baking first thing. I made chocolate chip cookies and pretzel dogs with beer cheese sauce (we're obsessed with this recipe).

In retrospect, a picture after I baked them would have looked nicer.
The birthday girl got sick and had to cancel - so sad! We took it upon ourselves to consume all the party food and embarked on an elimination diet where we eliminated all foods other than pretzel dogs and cookies. We also used the extra time to catch up on sitcoms. I had originally intended to run, but day drinking just seemed to fit the day's theme better.

Sweet red wine is my favorite.

So we're in this phase where Dalton only wants to be held. Round the clock. I love snuggling him, so it's not really a problem during the daytime. Although a 30 second pee break listening to screaming is a bit stressful. But then I think about how when he's a teenager he won't even want to be seen with me and it doesn't seem so bad. 
It doesn't lend itself to sleeping so much. For us. He sleeps fine as long as he's on one of our chests. It's weird how you adapt and now I think things like "I got a combined total of five hours, I feel like a million bucks!".


I took advantage of that time lying down and read the baby sleep book I have and it essentially said I'd been doing everything wrong for the past 7 weeks and was screwed. So that was pretty helpful.
It did reinforce my theory that as a mother, I can enjoy approximately 10-15% of my life without silently freaking out over something. About another 5% of my time is spent convincing myself not to spend our life savings on baby socks, because I really really love how cute baby socks are. Especially the ones that look like little sneakers.
Luckily I have good friends who remind me that no one takes their son to high school strapped to their chest in an Ergo or sleeps in a Rock and Play in their dorm room. Or just to get an umbrella and go for a walk.
I texted my friend the other day that I didn't get it when people said newborns have day and night confused because when Dalton was first born, we had to wake him up every two hours to eat per the doctor's orders so none of us had any real "day or night". But this weekend I think I got it.

Shopping at Dick's

After an hour of sitting in a dark room being "soothed to sleep".
I didn't work out at all this weekend because, tired, and then after the third time I found myself sobbing today I started to think maybe that was a problem. Working out was easier said than done (see above). It took me 5 hours and three separate attempts, but I managed to do a 25 minute Jillian Michaels DVD and even though it was pouring, we got outside for a 2 mile Ergo walk. It's only been an hour since then but I haven't cried yet, so I'll call it a win.
I'm too tired to think of a question so just tell me something good, like that you have kids and I'll sleep again someday.


  1. He's so cute!
    I just put Jude down. He seemed so asleep but then 15 minutes later he started to cry. Then he stopped so I guess it was just a dream? I'm beat and should be in bed as well but I really want to watch some Monday night football. Crossing my fingers for more sleep tonight. For me and you.

  2. This does NOT bode well for me. I already have the worst memory as it is, and babies are not on the horizon yet! I can't even imagine how forgetful I'll be.

  3. It gets easier. It really does. Hang in there!

  4. That last picture is so my favorite...partially because of the caption though :) I know I'm mean but it's just so true and I can only see the humor in it now that I am 7 years out from where you are. I also love to leave the groceries in the car in the winter until Mike's home to bring them in. I don't even have stairs and I still do that.

  5. It gets better and he will start being so fun when he interacts with you.

  6. Baby sleep is such a crazy topic. I'm sure we are totally screwed because we've had her sleeping in a rock n play like a champion and will never want to sleep in her crib. But like you said, we won't have her in there when she's 15, so we will all figure it out eventually!

    1. So we should be safe from that problem right? He doesn't sleep anywhere like a champion so we're good there.

  7. Oh my god, I know just how you feel! It does get better! (Although I do still have shit-for-brains moments occasionally when both girls decide to team up against me.) I really had trouble getting codie to sleep anywhere for the first 2-3 months and then finally she started doing better. It's so unfair, they tell you babies should sleep on their backs but all babies HATE SLEEPING ON THEIR BACKS.
    Have you tried giving him a bottle before bed? That might help him tank up for the night and be a little more agreeable to sleeping in the crib (or bassinet or whatever place is more ideal than your chest). But sometimes babies are just scumbags and nothing works until they decide they're ready.

  8. YES if he could sleep on his belly he would probably be STTN and then I could be one of those braggy jerk moms, not bitter at all over here. But thanks that does give me hope! Eric gives him a bottle for the first "late" night feeding (usually anywhere from 10p-2a). Sometimes he sleeps longer and sometimes he's up in 2 hours.


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.