Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Baltimore Marathon Recap: DNS

So I trained for four months, ran a 20 miler, was totally prepared to run a marathon and didn't happen. I didn't run. I didn't even show up to the start line. It was a bit of a bummer.

The week before the marathon, I had a bad cough, but nothing that I thought much of. But in the days leading up to the race, it was getting worse, my chest was hurting, and coworkers were starting to run in the opposite direction when they saw me in the hall. My marathon prospects weren't looking good when I felt like I couldn't even handle going to the expo to pick up my bib. Sure, I probably could have pushed through and maybe even finished the race, but I wasn't interested in bronchitis or pneumonia.

The truth was, even before I got sick, I had been fairly sure I wouldn't be completing the marathon, although I thought I could at least do SOME of it.

Two days after the 20 miler, I found out we are expecting baby #3! Unlike the common stereotypes for a third pregnancy, I have not been laid back or nonchalant AT ALL about this. Starting with finding out. When it comes to getting pregnant, there are two types of people. If you can understand this sentence: "I got my BFP on a FRER at 12po.", then you are my type of people. If it makes no sense to you, you've probably never gone down the rabbit hole of TTC (trying to conceive) websites and general obsession that comes with desperately wanting a baby and not having your body cooperate immediately. In that case, you definitely will not identify with the following story and definitely will think I'm crazy (which I am).

I felt good during the race, so I had pretty much written off that month for a positive pregnancy test. But then, that Tuesday at work, I started to really suspect I was pregnant. I had implantation bleeding, which I had also had with both boys (bleeding when the fertilized egg implants in the uterus). One of my wise friends, who is also my level of pregnancy crazy, told me to check my heart rate in my FitBit. Since the day I had ovulated, my daily average resting heart rate was consistently up at least 2 bpm.

That seemed pretty auspicious, so as soon as I left work I went to Walgreens, bought a FRER (expensive pregnancy test, considered to be the most accurate and gets the earliest positives). I had cheap amazon test strips at home, but my period wasn't due for 3 more days, so I needed the big guns if I wanted to get to the bottom of this. Plus I'd been holding it for hours at this point, attempting to save up pee for testing needs.

I took the test in the dirty Walgreens bathroom, and it was...inconclusive. With pregnancy tests, even the faintest hint of a shadow of a line means a positive. But I kept getting confused - sometimes I thought I saw that shadow of a line, sometimes not. I spent a good ten minutes sitting in my van staring at it at various angles, in various lights, etc. I couldn't tell. I used an app to invert the line, and sent pictures to friends. Still inconclusive. Some saw it, some didn't.
I maintain that the line is clear as day on the inverted picture. 
See, you can't just take another test because my pee had already been diluted during the first test so any further tests would just have the same problem. (Pregnancy tests test for the presence of HCG, a hormone your body produces when knocked up, and it increases in amount the further along in your pregnancy you are. That early on, before a missed period even occurs, it's a very minimal amount which is why it's so hard to detect on a home pregnancy test.)

Sure, I could test again in the morning, but if you are thinking that then you do not understand a potentially pregnant woman's need to know NOW not in the morning NOW NOW NOW. It was torturous. Eric insisted there was no line and I was crazy. So I woke him up at 5am the next morning to show him an extremely clear, unmistakable POSITIVE test!! 

Yep, it's my third rodeo and my hand was still shaking seeing that second line for sure. It's pretty amazing and I don't think I'll ever get over the idea that my body is actually creating a human being as I type this. 

However, there are some differences in a third pregnancy. With my first, I was instructed to drink x o ounces of water an hour before the first sonogram. I set an alarm to remind me to drink at work, drank that exact number of ounces exactly an hour before the sonogram. 

With the third, we were walking upstairs to the Perinatal center and I was like "oh shit I was supposed to have a full bladder, give me some of your coffee". 

My anxiety has been off the chain this time. Of course, I'm always worried about losing the baby when pregnant, but it's been much worse this time. The older I get, the more I know, and the more I realize how much it's truly a miracle to conceive and carry a healthy baby to term. There's a LOT that can go wrong. It's gotten harder and harder for me to feel confident things will go right. And I still have a long way to go. Up until we saw the heartbeat last month, I was a nervous wreck. But, we saw it! It was beautiful and I cried. This is one of many reasons it drives me crazy when I'm asked if we are "trying for a girl". I don't care, I just want to see a healthy heartbeat on the sonogram!

A couple basics:

Due date: June 9 (likely a scheduled c section a week or so before that)

How far along: 8.5 weeks and counting

Feeling: completely  miserable, by far the worst of all 3, I just started Zofran yesterday and so far it's a Godsend. 

Sex: Keeping it a mystery again! We won't know until June. We are not "going for a girl" and will be thrilled with a healthy baby either way. (Can you tell this is a pet peeve?)

Do the boys know: I mean, technically yes, but do they care or understand or show any interest? No! They are live in the moment types. 

So, in a nutshell, that's the story of the marathon I never ran! I'm not posting a social media pregnancy announcement just yet, so I'm just posting this blog post quietly, not on Facebook or anything, so only the very few people who still have me in a reader (THANK YOU) will even see it (if anyone). 


  1. So excited for you!!!!!!!! Congrats to Eric!!!!!

  2. OMG Awesome!
    Congratulations to you and Eric!
    That's wonderful news!
    I love that picture of Eric too! :) Sorry you are feeling so lousy, hopefully you start feeling better ASAP. Glad to hear the Zofran is working for you!

    As one of the people who has you in a reader AND can understand those TTC sentences, I feel extra special today. :)

    1. Oh I'm so glad I'm not alone with my crazy TTC jargon! Thank you! The Zofran is seriously LIFE.

  3. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! And I saw this bc I have you in a reader bc you are one of the ONLY blogs left that I ACTUALLY ENJOY and don't "hate read" (pretty much just you and Running off the Reeses since Kara/Dog Lick Baby left). Also, I completely understood that TTC sentence... it didn't even occur to me that someone would NOT understand those acronyms until you pointed it out in the parenthetical... you are my type of crazy! And congrats! I also share your pet peeve/general irritation with gender-pushing people. I swear I found out the sex of baby #2 just so I could tell people and not have to deal with the constant "SOOOOOO DO YOU HOPE IT'S GONNA BE A BOY THIS TIME?????". When you are over 35 (I was) and pregnant you have enough to worry about during that first trimester (and worry I did), gender is NOT even on the radar.

    1. YES! You are my people! I love when people roll their eyes and act like I'm crazy for knowing all that and I'm like welllll when it takes a year + to conceive (with my first) you need to do everything you can! I totally get the gender pushing. It's part of the reason I'm NOT finding out because my pregnant hormones can't even take it.

  4. Well this is probably the best race recap ever. Congratulations!!

  5. You're still in my reader and we're strangers to each other! I'm due May 5th (with my first) and have told a bunch of people in person but still scared to announce "publicly". You're a brave #motherrunner

  6. OMG! Congratulations!! I am so happy for you guys! I always get excited when you have a new post and this was pretty much the ultimate update. I want to know everything, which I am sure you have plenty of time to blog about what with two toddlers and a job and first trimester exhaustion.

  7. Congrats! I had been lurking looking for your marathon recap, and worried that you had gotten injured. I am so happy for you guys. You have the prettiest babies, and seem like a such a caring mother. (this all sounded so much less creepy in my head)

  8. Congratulations! I may not be up on all the pregnancy lingo, but that doesn't make your blog any less humorous to me -- and I'd say those were VERY good reasons for the DNS.

  9. I knew the infertility jargon all too well. Congrats!!!!

  10. Congrats! Super happy for you :)

  11. Congrats!!! Have been missing your posts and was happy to see this one today!

  12. You're in my reader! Congratulations! and I don't think you're crazy...just crazy for TTC and training for a marathon at the same time knowing one or the other or both might happen or might not know. That. :D Totally legit reason to DNS, though. (More acronyms! Crazy runners.) I'm glad you're not injured and no longer sick!

  13. Woohoo! Hang in there. Trust your body and take care of yourself. Babies are hard but so deliciously wonderful. I would love another but not sure I have the guts! You make it seem easy!!!!

  14. ahhhhhhh yaaaaaaaassss!!!! I also fully understand all of these sentiments. IM SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS!

  15. You're in my reader :) Congratulations from a total stranger, I've followed the blog since before you had any kiddos and it's really cool to see your news! Hope you feel all good soon.


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.