Sunday, January 4, 2015

This is the real deal

Excellent news. So far in the new year, I committed to being a complete slug. I didn't exercise, clean, cook, grocery shop, or do anything besides basic baby care. I am happy to report that the rest healed me and I am no longer sick, just in time to go to work, and I don't mean that sarcastically because being sick at work sucks.

Saturday, being finally healthy and no longer having to cancel all plans, we attended a baby party at Carolyn and John's house. I often just refer to people as "friends" on the blog because ain't nobody got time to remember friend's names of blogs they read, but I feel we spend enough time with them that anyone reading needs to know who they are. Plus they have an adorable baby.

The party was at 12:30pm, and Eric was all like "parties in the afternoon?? Is this our life now?". Yes, yes it is.

We had fun but all the other babies were more like 7-8 months old, which is a huge difference from 3 months in baby time, so Dalton was a little overwhelmed. He shut it down.

This does not look like a comfortable way to sleep to me.
Now I know I've written all sorts of dramatic things about going back to work, and yes technically I did already go back, but tomorrow is the real, true test. See, I only went back for two days. One of those days Dalton stayed home with Eric, so while I missed him, I didn't have any concerns about him. The next day my boss declared take your kid to work day, so he came with me!

It was the best.

He slept on me in the Ergo for like 2.5 hours and basically was a superstar all day so my vote is that I can bring him every day for the next few months. But I can't so he's going to daycare and I'm having the same feelings of panic and desolation about it that every mother ever has. The only cure is just to do it and hope that by this time next week I feel better.

He's in a major "I want mommy" phase (?) and cries every time someone else holds him, even his dad, so I'm consumed with guilt and a broken heart over him crying for me while I'm not there. Good stuff. Eric is dropping him off because if that was my job I just wouldn't do it and then get fired. Today I'm trying to resist the urge to be "that mom" and call daycare and make her listen to a long list of detailed instructions about my baby.

The nice part was it led to lots of good cuddles this week. I think Eric and I are in a secret competition over who gets to hold him because we are both going to miss him so much.

A friend gave me the advice that for the first two weeks not to worry about anything but work and baby care. That's my plan. I'm prepared to live in filth and eat takeout.

I've learned that when you have a baby, the first thing everyone wants to know is "Is he sleeping through the night?". I'm considering hanging a sign around his neck that just says "I DO NOT SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT YET". Maybe going the extra step and adding a footnote that says "no I do not want to hear about how your baby slept through the night at 7 weeks due to your superior parenting". I know plenty of babies sleep through the night by 3 months, but my understanding is that it's also pretty typical for them not to do so yet. They are all different, almost like they are real people. I never had any expectations of full nights of sleep when I returned to work.

I'm working on just getting mentally prepared for the transition to daycare involving no sleep at all, and that way any I get is a bonus. High hopes, low expectations is key. In my child free life, I relied on a combination of sleep and coffee to be awake. Currently I'm planning to rely exclusively on coffee. I just made a huge batch of iced coffee to keep in my fridge at work. Any Steaders reading this, feel free to come get some!

In my one day of experience, pumping at work did not go well. I'm not married to the idea, but I was really hoping it would work out and I could send breast milk to daycare. I'm working on trying to look at it as another transition and see it goes over the course of a week and not freaking out over one bad day. Actually, that's pretty much the theme for the whole week. My mom got me one of those fancy pump bags that holds all the parts for Christmas, so that's pretty exciting!

Now I just need this little monkey to wake up from his nap so I can continue our snuggle fest!


Who's going back to work and dreading it tomorrow?


  1. My baby sleeps through the night like every one out of 17 nights so that means I'm like .06% better than you.
    If you haven't already, check out crazy running legs for great info on pumping at work. She did it for years.

  2. My son is 3 months tomorrow and tomorrow is my first day back to work. I am not looking forward to it at all. I wish I could stay at home with my monkeys but my husband gets that lucky job.
    Pumping at work isn't too bad; I spent last year pumping for my daughter. Make sure to get a hands free pumping bra. And maybe a second power cord to leave at work. The sleep deprivation from my daughter resulted in my forgetting the power cord at home...a lot.

  3. I didn't get a Christmas break so going back to work won't be so hard I guess. Hang in there with the pumping. If it doesn't work, I'll send you some formula from work :). Good luck!!

  4. As a Canadian it makes me all sorts of ragey to see a country as wealthy and developed as the US send its parents back to work about 6 or 12 or no weeks of unpaid maternity leave. My SIL had a baby in October and will be off and at home with that baby until September when she is choosing to go back to work to start the new school year. And than my brother will be using the last 8 weeks of parental leave they're entitled to so he can stay at home with his son. Your system seems so backward. Good luck tomorrow.

  5. Wait, what? Canadians get a year paternity leave?
    I don't know if I'll make it down to your hallway tomorrow Alyssa cause I'm basically a PreK recluse anymore but I'll be sending you warm fuzzies. Feel free to text me or send a runner if you need Staci for any reason. I'm volunteering her to your services at anytime!

    1. The short answer is yes.
      As a non-parent, my understanding is kind of fuzzy and my knowledge may not be completely accurate. Families are entitled to 52 weeks of parental leaved which is paid at 60% of the pay through a government initiative (the same group that provides employment insurance). This can be split in whatever works for that family. Gay marriage is also legal here - so there are many 'less' traditional families around. Many organizations will top this up for a set period of time as well (I work in health care - you get topped up to 100% of your pay for the first 6 months on my contract). I also work in a province that allows for an additional 6 months unpaid leave of absence. I think that people who adopt get marginally less time but I'm not sure.

  6. I'm dreading it only because I'm lazy & a snow storm just hit. I have no desire to be out and about in the chilly weather!

  7. Waking up to an alarm this morning was the worst. I have a hard time complaining, though, since I don't have a child. He really is the cutest!

  8. I'm a SAHM so I didn't have to get dressed to go anywhere, but my hubby is back to work today so I'm back to being in charge of the two kiddos and managing the house solo. It's not glamorous, but it's definitely a grind.
    Love all the baby pics. too cute.


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