Step 1: Already own one, back from those pre-breeding days.
|Here I am on our beach trip in 2011.|
Step 2: Laziness
Every moment I spend at the mall searching for a mom-bod bathing suit is one less moment I could spend on the couch (ok, floor) eating chocolate covered pretzels and drinking wine, or coffee, depending on the time of day.
|Do not judge me for using Snapchat even though I will be 32 on Friday.|
I probably won't be the fattest or ugliest, and even if I am, I'm not putting a gun to anyone's head to look at me.
|Mind your own business.|
Step 4: Focus on positives
My badass scar is covered up by any bikini I've ever owned, but even if it wasn't, I would probably go full speed ahead just for some street cred.
|But, truly, I don't understand how it was a big enough exit location for his head and whole body.|
Step 5: If it's ill fitting now, or you still feel uncomfortable, don a cover up.
|My flab is all a secret under here.|
Step 6: Take selfies, to prove to the internet how brave you are.
|You can always crop yourself out.|
Step 7: Remember, you are beautiful.
*No babies were harmed in the creating of this post.