How to rock a bikini after a C-section

Step 1: Already own one, back from those pre-breeding days.

Here I am on our beach trip in 2011. 

Step 2: Laziness

Every moment I spend at the mall searching for a mom-bod bathing suit is one less moment I could spend on the couch (ok, floor) eating chocolate covered pretzels and drinking wine, or coffee, depending on the time of day.

Do not judge me for using Snapchat even though I will be 32 on Friday.

Step 3: Rationalize

I probably won't be the fattest or ugliest, and even if I am, I'm not putting a gun to anyone's head to look at me.

Mind your own business.

Step 4: Focus on positives

My badass scar is covered up by any bikini I've ever owned, but even if it wasn't, I would probably go full speed ahead just for some street cred. 

But, truly, I don't understand how it was a big enough exit location for his head and whole body.

Step 5: If it's ill fitting now, or you still feel uncomfortable, don a cover up.

My flab is all a secret under here.

Step 6: Take selfies, to prove to the internet how brave you are.

You can always crop yourself out.

Step 7: Remember, you are beautiful.

*No babies were harmed in the creating of this post.