Important race preparation

My legs are a little sore and tight from racing this weekend. Not to the point where I am moaning and groaning and walking down stairs backwards or anything. In fact, not even to the point where I would think twice about it, if I didn't want them to be perfectly nice and fresh for the half ironman. 

My fellow HIM racers and I had our final open water swim planned for Monday night. When I pulled up at the lake with my wetsuit, the water was super choppy and scary looking. I generally run an approximately 47% risk of accidentally becoming lost at sea even on the calmest day, so I vetoed the water immediately. Jackie and Lily were super troopers and still did some sighting practice while swimming in the super shallow part. 

Our other training buddy Elysia and I used that time to get some extra bike miles in. We ended up cycling 23.5 miles and running 2 miles. Now today I'm taking completely off and wearing compression like it's my job.

Of course my real job is teaching, and in honor of teacher appreciation week, here's a little glimpse into a teacher's life.

And there you have it.

I was lucky enough to get four fun sized candy bars in my mailbox yesterday! The appreciation is overwhelming. Not that anything was really necessary, the generous paycheck that enables my lavish lifestyle is more than enough.

This week I can finally attend to the most important part of race preparation. Yes, I will be baking an amazing dessert for after the race, but believe it or not, something even more important exists: sleep. 

Eric was out of town for a graduation this past weekend. Naturally, I couldn't mention that on the blog. I am positive I have at least 12 stalkers, and that would clearly be their long awaited opportunity to swoop in and steal me.

Don't we all?

 Now that he's back, I can return to sleeping through the night (except for getting up for a minimum of 3 pee breaks). When he's gone, I wake up more like 400 times throughout the night, and every time I'm more positive than the last that the sound I just heard is a killer burglar coming to destroy me. We live in an apartment building on a busy street with thin walls, so there's no shortage of noises.

Just look at how I cling to him while he tries to escape.

 Are you scared to spend the night alone or are you normal and brave, unlike me?

Half Ironman Week!

HAPPY HALF IRONMAN WEEK!!!


It's here! In just 5 short days I'll be getting in the water and starting my race. It was one of those things that started out as "hey, maybe someday we should do a half ironman!" "ya, that would be crazy!", so I really can't believe it's almost here. Expect all posts this week to be on the same topic.


So far, the forecast is 75 and sunny, so we all need to cross our fingers this week that it stays that way. Jackie shares my love of excessive organization in the form of lists and made us all a detailed spreadsheet with a packing list divided both by category and by person. It brought me so much joy I almost cried.


My legs are feeling just a tad tired from my weekend of racing, so my workouts during this taper week will be super easy and short. Perfect, since this gives me extra time to obsessively check the weather, work on the packing spreadsheet, and bake amazing brownies to eat after the race.


Did I mention that we all rented a house in Lake Anna (where the race is) and it's so beautiful I'm probably never coming home? It has a grill, Foosball table, pool table, private dock overlooking the lake, and, most importantly, a hot tub. Much like during the Myrtle Beach Marathon, I'll be using the image of drinking wine in the hot tub while wearing my medal to get through the race. Bonus points for a private one with no weird men talking to me.


I think there are more of yesterday's half marathon pictures floating around, but here's one that the running store posted on Facebook. If you zero in on my face, it really sums up my feelings on the race.

What crap do you tell yourself to get through Monday morning? I repeat "I'm lucky to have a job, I'm lucky to have a job" over and over in my head. 

I gave up dessert for a week for nothing

AKA the Maryland Half Marathon recap, AKA I'm cursed at half marathons, AKA the post where I whine more than necessary.

That's the last time I take a picture at the finish before the race.

It's no secret that Kari and I have been partners in dessert addiction. When she told me she gave up dessert two days before her huge PR in her half marathon last weekend, I decided to follow suit. Therefore, I've been chocolate free for seven torturous days now. 

It gets even worse. I got a last minute text from a friend I hadn't seen in awhile last night, telling me to meet her at a bar about a mile from my house. Despite walking to the bar, I resisted the siren's call of delicious liquor, and chugged water in anticipation of today's half marathon. I should have just boozed it up, since it turned out that one PR in a weekend is my limit.

At the race, I was flying high from my 5K PR yesterday, so I lined up with the 1:45 pace group. My current PR is 1:50 on a flat course, and today's race is notoriously hilly. Apparently the elevation chart wouldn't load last time I posted it, so here it is.

However, the weather was cool, overcast, and rainy, the race offered pacers to help me, and I was feeling good. I was a tad optimistic. 

I thought pacers were supposed to get a group together and motivate you, but the 1:45 pacers seemed annoyed when I asked what their plan was and basically ignored me. Which turned out to not really matter because after a 7:49 first mile, I started to fall behind. By the mile 2 marker, not only had I given up on my 1:45 goal, I'd started to wonder about that whole "finishing the race" goal. 

I spent the next three miles mentally ripping myself apart for being too slow, going out to fast, and overall failing at running while struggling up the soul crushing hills. I tried to dig myself out of the "boo hoo woe is me hole" but I wasn't terribly successful. Right after the mile 5 marker, I decided that every mile where I didn't get passed by the 1:50 pacer was a good mile, since I still had a chance of PRing, albeit a snowball's chance in hell. 

Not even a minute after I told myself this, I heard a nice cheery voice of a woman trying to motivate a group of runners up the hill behind me, and I knew it had to be the 1:50 pacer. 

The 1:50 pacer blew by me. A local news anchor in my running group was with them and tried to get me to pick up the pace and stay with them, and even with help from a celebrity I couldn't do it! My legs felt completely dead and my heart rate was through the roof. 

That was pretty much the final nail in the coffin that the PR was out for this race. At first I was upset, but by mile 8, I got over it. The pressure was off, and my new strategy was that this was just a 13.1 mile tempo run for my half ironman training. With that attitude, I cheered up and settled into a comfortable pace, and the next few miles weren't too bad. The last 2 miles, as you can see, are almost all uphill and we were running around a giant cul-de-sac, but I had regained my ability to handle life by that point so I dealt with it. The excitement of being almost done with this hilly hell was no small factor.

I had expected the 1:55 pacer and eventually the 2:00 pacer to blow by me too, but they never did. My official time was 1:53:57, average pace 8:42. 

As soon as I got my medal and space blanket I rushed back to the last .1 mile to watch for Carolyn. She was dead set on getting a sub 2 hour half marathon and had trained really hard for it. I spotted her right away, looking like hell. I mean that as a compliment, as in, she was clearly pushing herself as hard as humanly possible and it showed. The clock said 1:57, so I cheered my ass off and my mood did a complete 180 because I was so excited for her.

Even all that compression couldn't help me.

After the race, I found myself yet again in soaking wet clothing in unseasonably cold weather. The race packet had a coupon to a coffee shop, so we walked over there and the best thing to happen all day occurred - I was finally about to indulge in some nice hot coffee.

All in all, it was a half marathon fail, but I got in a faster-than-usual run and a little extra training for the HIM. 

Lesson learned: I'm officially done with pacers. I've tried them twice, and both times have resulted in horrific races (although this time it wasn't exactly their fault). My average heart rate was 178 and I'm clinging to that as an excuse that I wasn't a total slacker.

Of course, now I need yet another redemption half marathon, because I WILL break 1:50 someday!

Oh, and I stopped for frozen yogurt on my way home, and it's currently waiting in my freezer to be devoured.

Never say never

This morning I ran the ALS Fiesta 5K. I haven't ran a serious 5K in awhile - I've done a couple that I ended up not having to pay for, but I just rolled them in to longer training runs. I'm much better at longer runs. The whole "run until you want to puke for 3.1 miles" thing scares me to death.

I was on a huge fundraising team of over 90 people, which is the best way to run a race, because all sorts of total strangers start cheering like crazy for you as soon as they see your shirt. I went with a huge group of people to the race, including my GORUCK girls Jackie and Colleen. Colleen is training for like 12 more GORUCKs, so she ran with her bricks, and still did a 30 minute 5K! She also ran in a mumu, just for fun.

My previous 5K PR was 24:21. I knew I had no choice but to PR at this race, mainly because I think 5Ks are a rip off, so this would be my only one for another few years. I actually warmed up for about 3/4 of a mile, and warm I was. The team shirt was cotton, it was already 80 degrees and something like 110% humidity, so I was pouring sweat before the race even began.

Public Service Announcement: If your goal is to break 30 minutes in a 5K, I applaud you, that's a wonderful goal. With this goal in mind, the front of the race, 2 rows behind the start line, is not where you line up. 

Despite a little crowding at the beginning and the ungodly heat, I managed to pull out a 22:46. I randomly told some woman at the start that my goal pace was 7:30 (I hadn't even thought about it before she asked me) and my average pace ended up being 7:26. I said the 7:30 out loud, so it counts, and I officially beat my goal. 

After the race I ran a little over a mile for a torturous, shuffling cool down, bringing my total for the day to 5.2 miles.

We went back to Jackie's house and showered. The fundraising team I was on rented out a room at a local Cuban restaurant and hosted a huge party. 

Now, with a half marathon on my schedule for tomorrow, I had no intention of drinking today. However, several things came together and created a perfect storm, forcing me to imbibe.

1. Colleen offered to drive to the race.
2. The drinks were free.
3. I usually hate mimosas and yet these ones were magically delicious. 
4. It was before noon, which means any drinking you do doesn't actually count.

Half marathon or not, if I had turned down free mimosas when my car was safely at home, I would have had no choice but to punch myself in the face. They hit me pretty hard too. FYI - a buffet at a Cuban restaurant is not ideal for a non-meat eater like myself. Fruit, cottage cheese, and mimosas turned out to be my lunch. 

Beware - the following pictures WILL make you want to quit your job and move to Baltimore immediately. Our guest room is ready.

A huge event in Baltimore is the Kinetic Sculpture Race. Teams work for months, or even years, to create sculptures that are able to travel both on land and in water. 

The banana split

This one played the Mario Bros theme song!

Baltimore legend Fifi. She resides in a museum when not competing.

Colleen and I went to Patterson Park to watch as the sculptures took turns attempting to gain speed and get through a section of deep mud. 

The costumes are no small part of this event. Even spectators dress up. 

Tell me you wouldn't want to watch this heated competition in person. 

My half ironman next week is actually also called the Kinetic race, so when I tell people I'm training for it, they think I mean I'm spending weekends in someone's garage duct taping random items to a bicycle.

Anyone who has endured long enough to still be reading this post might be wondering what the title is all about. Once again, I'm going to do something I swore I'd never do. I think I need to call this past year the year of "never say never".

Kara is notorious for peer pressuring people into signing up for races. She teamed up with Jessica and somehow managed to convince me to enter the JFK 50 lottery. The lottery opened on May 1st, and it's totally old school, you have to mail in your application with a check, proof of a qualifying race, and a SASE (self addressed stamped envelope). The turnaround for all that was shockingly quick, and this arrived in the mail yesterday.

November 17th, I'll once again be attempting the 50 mile distance. I'm really excited to have it actually be 50 miles this time.

I know this is a really played out question, but I'm really curious - what's everyone's favorite race distance? Mine is the marathon for sure!

Do you think it's wrong to turn down free liquor? It should be illegal.

I love lists

You guys sure put me in my place yesterday, pointing out that moving everything out of my kitchen was a small price to pay for no cockroaches. Yet another reason I love having a blog - perspective. From here on out, I will no longer be complaining. 

Dealing with this after work beats roaches a million times over

For some reason I feel that every time I fit in swimming, biking, and running in the same day is cause for celebration, and yesterday was one of those celebrations. After work Lily and I did our usual BWI trail loop (about 16 miles) and a 30 minute run. 

I wanted to get all three in yesterday so today could be a rest day, because I have two races coming up this weekend! A 5K Saturday morning, and a half marathon Sunday morning. Spending my last weekend before the half ironman racing twice wasn't my plan or anything, it just sort of happened. I love racing though, so it's no hardship.

The half marathon is a deferment from one I couldn't make last year. The 5K is to raise money for ALS research, and I was invited to join a team of a friend of a friend who suffers from ALS and still runs the race! 

I finally broke down and ordered the famous CEP compression sleeves, and they arrived in the nick of time yesterday. Between those and my Aspaeris Pivot shorts, I'll be good to go even with double races on the schedule. Ew, that sounded like a commercial, but I promise it's the truth.

Now I'll always be wearing pink in races!

My friend Jackie called the half marathon I'm running on Sunday "the most demoralizing race ever". Here's the elevation chart.

The key is to build the hills up so much in my mind that the actual race seems easy. My usual neighborhood route has me climbing around 150 feet in most miles, so at least it will be familiar. 

I started having half ironman nightmares last night. In the dream, Eric decided he wasn't coming, and was all casual about it, like "man up! I'm not going! Get over it!". That was far from the worst part though. The scariest part was when I was trying to pack at the very last minute with no list. I am completely disorganized with paperwork, household items, closet arrangement, etc, but when it comes to planning I'm as anal as they come. When I packed for my 50 mile race, I started an excel spreadsheet weeks ahead of time detailing all the items I needed to bring. 

In fact, I'm starting my HIM list tonight. And I'm looking forward to it. Wait, today is Friday. Maybe I shouldn't admit that.

Are you organized? Do you love making lists?

I'M SO SCARED

Yesterday was full of ups and downs. Actually really just one of each, but they were major.


I got an email on my lunch break that resulted in me dropping my sandwich and running down the hall screaming with joy. It was from my instructor informing us that he was sick, so my grad class was canceled that evening. After briefly considering using all the extra time to do something like re-organize the bedroom, I remembered how lazy I am. I caught up on some grading, folded a load of laundry, then watched numerous episodes of Saved by the Bell on Netflix.

Source: mysocalledtype.com via K. on Pinterest

Is that or is that not the best wordle you've ever seen?


Apparently the real estate gods overheard me bragging about how awesome renting is in order to convince myself I don't hate it. They got me back with a lovely notice on the door when I got home from work yesterday. It informed us that by Friday (keep in mind, it was posted Wednesday) we would need to remove everything from our kitchen for cockroach treatment. Everyone out of the cabinets, closet, and below the sink. Tell me that doesn't sound like a huge pain in the ass.

With a stupidly designed cabinet like that,
how could it not be a cluster f$#%?

In their defense, I've only seen cockroaches at work, and I would like to keep it that way. Eric made some sort of remark about how now we can reorganize everything and make it better. I had to remind him that if that's how he feels, he chose the wrong wife.


Here's a lesson I learned while working on this post - do not search for cockroaches on Pinterest unless you want to see some disturbing images. I had to close the window immediately, so you're lucky that you're not looking at one of those images right now.

After my two open water swims this week, swimming at the YMCA this morning felt wonderfully nice and warm. I used a masters swim workout from a website that Ashley recommended. It was a great workout, my legs and arms were burning after the kickboarding and pulling parts.

Today is a big day in terms of internet stalking. The day of the half ironman is officially in the ten day forecast. I'm not going to get excited yet, but I like what I see so far.



How annoyed would you be if you had to remove every single thing in your kitchen after work tonight?

Halfway there

Sunday's open water swim was so much fun, that really the only logical course of action was to repeat the experience on Monday. We really lucked out and when I met Jackie and a new training buddy, Elysia there after work, the temperature hadn't even reached 60 degrees. It's a special kind of fear when you are about to walk into a lake in that weather.


Despite the cold, we had a great swim. We swam 1,000 meters, which is half the distance we'll be swimming in our race. The swim cutoff time is 75 minutes. Monday's swim only took 23 minutes, which was a huge confidence boost. The 23 minutes included several stops where I put my feet down and took a minute to find the other two swim caps and ensure that they were continuing to move forward, and swimming, as opposed to drowning. There were no lifeguards (or really any other people period), so that was our solution. Jackie and I did a 5K around the park in soaking wet, freezing clothes after the swim, because we just can't get enough of jumping in bodies of water and then hanging out in wet clothes when it's unseasonably cold.


Tuesday morning I was all excited to finally have light to ride my bike before work. I did a 5K in the dark before the ride, but about halfway through it started pouring, thundering, and lightening. Don't people say that you have a better chance of getting hit my lightening than winning the lottery? A local teacher in her 20s already won the megamillions last month, so I was positive I was screwed. I defied fate and made it back without getting fried though.


While I'd wanted to ride my bike, secretly I was pretty excited to have an excuse to spend an hour watching cheesy 90s TV drama rather than barely containing road rage at the 600 traffic lights in my neighborhood. I quickly busted out the trainer and did an hour with high resistance and Felicity. Overall, a pretty sweet morning.


This morning I ran 7.2 miles at a 9:00 pace, which I consider respectable for first thing in the morning. More importantly, I made a new friend on my run! I had just turned out of my parking lot and I heard a girl behind me yelling "Have you done an ironman?? Your shirt...." I was wearing my Irongirl shirt, from my first sprint triathlon last summer, significantly less impressive than an Ironman. Still, I got to brag that I was doing a Half Ironman next weekend. She was also a teacher, so we ran together for about a mile and a half chatting before we parted ways. She runs most mornings, and now I'm pissed that I didn't get her phone number or made plans to meet again! Friend-dating is so difficult.


Have you ever made a new friend on a random (non-group) workout? Any advice for me to become better at friend - dating?