Royce's Birth Story

It's a boy! Royce Gray Lindsey arrived on May 6, 2016, at 6:50pm. I started using the hashtags #boymom and #twoundertwo just two days later. Here's his birth story, in all its TMI glory.



His story is quite different from how his older brother joined us! I'm not all about talking to my kids when they were fetuses. In fact, I've done it only once that I can recall. (Side note, I just said "my kids"....plural....woah.) A few weeks ago, in the shower, I randomly started thinking how nice it would be if this time labor could begin after a full night of sleep, rather than having to labor all night and lose a night of sleep like I did last time. I started actually telling the baby, out loud, to do that. And I threw in a few things about how nice and fun sleeping through the night would be, because why not?

I can't remember if I mentioned it on here, but I was really really hoping my water would break on it's own. I don't know why but I just really wanted to experience what that was like. Also, it's a nice clear way to know if labor has begun, as opposed to contractions, which can start and stop and be confusing.

Thursday, Dalton and I had a nice morning meeting with some friends at the local library story hour. I dropped him off at daycare for his nap, intending to use the afternoon to get some errands done. Once I dropped him off, I only got one thing done before I started feeling completely like crap, and went home and napped the rest of the day. I even made Eric pick Dalton up, I couldn't even deal.

That night, after dinner, I had about an hour of consistent contractions. I was even timing them. I got in the bath, and it was super comfortable, but once got out the contractions seemed to have stopped, so I just went to bed. I woke up a few times in the middle of the night with contractions, which was new, but they weren't consistent and they were hardly painful.

On Friday, I was officially 39 weeks - full term! Dalton woke up earlier than usual, and Eric brought him up to me to hang out in bed while he got ready for work (I started my maternity leave a little early so I was staying home). Before he left, (TMI ALERT), I lost my mucous plug. I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything, but that was what really ramped up labor with Dalton. I told Eric today could be the day and to keep his phone close by.

After he left, Dalton wanted to play in the basement. Just about the only thing he will sit in my lap for these days, other than food, is to look at his truck book.

Picture from a previous truck book viewing.

About 7:30am, we were just chilling, checking out the trucks, when I felt a big POP, and it was just like all my friends have described their water breaking. Sure enough, there was a small puddle on the blanket I'd been sitting on. After that, the it seemed to stop, so I was a little confused about whether or not it had actually broken. Immediately my mind started racing, trying to figure out who to call first and what my course of action should be to take care of Dalton and get myself to the hospital. Naturally, I turned to snapchat.

My friends will screen shot crucial SC chats because they are devoted to the blog. 

So, Eric's phone was for some reason on vibrate, after like a month of him having it at full volume at all times to be prepared. My friend Kristin, our appointed babysitter for when the time came, was my next call. She only lives a mile away and came right over to take Dalton to daycare. I called my mom, since our plan was that my stepfather would drive down as soon as I went into labor to stay with Dalton (it's about 400 miles so he needed to leave immediately). I also texted daycare since I hadn't planned on bringing him that day. Finally, I called Eric's school and told the secretary to send him home as soon as he arrived. Somewhere in there I did remember to call my doctor as well.

As I was running around trying to get dressed and ready to go with a toddler to care for while continuing to blow up Eric's phone, I started to feel some contractions, but there was no chance of timing them or even paying attention because I was so frantic. Obviously I could still talk through them, and even carry a toddler up and downstairs through them. Dalton could clearly tell something was up and got really upset when Kristin arrived at our house. I couldn't figure out what to do between transferring the car seat, getting Dalton to daycare, and getting myself to the hospital in the opposite direction since Eric wasn't answering. I thought I would just drive myself, but luckily Kristin wouldn't hear of it and said she would just drive all of us there in the van and then go drop Dalton off. 

I started timing contractions in the car, and by the time we got to the hospital (about 15 minutes), they were 2-3 minutes apart and I couldn't talk through them anymore. My confusion over whether or not my water had actually broken was alleviated, my pants were soaked by the time we arrived. \ All along, I'd pictured this emotional goodbye with Dalton when the time came, but having increasingly intense contractions while standing outside the hospital in the rain wasn't it. I couldn't do much but give him a quick kiss and promise that even though Grandpa would be seeing him that night, we would come back, and even though he was upset, the pain was a good distraction and I headed in to labor and delivery.

As I entered the hospital, I had a little trip down memory lane as I doubled over a chair in the lobby to get through a contraction - pretty sure I used that same chair while Eric parked the car with Dalton! Good memories. The front desk guy asked me if I was ok...um, I'm hugely pregnant, moaning over a chair on my way to labor and delivery...what do you think?

In L&D, they let me hunch over the desk while they went through my information and then took me to triage. I was seriously struggling with the contractions at this point, but I felt like I was dealing with them mentally better than before. I focused on my breathing for each one, and was able to keep in mind that they were bringing me closer to meeting my baby (something that I did NOT find helpful last time) and just really tried not to tense up and fight the pain. They gave me a hospital gown to change in to, and while I was changing, I heard Eric arrive. He called to me in the bathroom, but I was well beyond talking during contractions and they were so close together I had to use the breaks to get into the hospital gown.

When I came out, they said a midwife was going to check me for progress and to confirm my water had broken. She was able to confirm that immediately as soon as she looked, and saw I had progressed to 3cm. That might not sound like much but I was barely there after over 16 hours of labor with Dalton, and this was less than an hour after my first contraction. They said they were going to admit me (which I'd had no doubt of) and when another nurse came in, they asked her to fill out epidural paperwork. Music to my ears. It was like they knew me, and just kept encouraging me by telling me I'd have the epidural soon. Exactly what I needed to hear.

We got to the room, and the nurse prepared to put my IV in (I needed antibiotics because I was GBS+). I told them last time I was here it took them five tries to get it right, and they clearly heard my desperation because the nurse got it in immediately with no problems. Shockingly, for this needle phobe, watching her do it was a welcome distraction from the contractions. Eric also helped a lot by rubbing my back and showing me pictures of Dalton on my phone and not speaking. I was prepared to wait since I figured the anesthesiologist would be busy first thing in the morning, but he showed up right away and I had the epidural in by 9:30am. That's just two hours after my water broke! I was instantly in heaven and couldn't believe my good luck. I truly cannot express my love of the epidural, the most wonderful invention in this world.

Post epi, obvi.

After less than two hours of painful labor, I was relaxing, watching Kelly and Michael, and texting friends the news that we were in the hospital. Well, my body doesn't know how to let me just relax with the epidural, apparently. The baby's heart rate dropped, and after trying the familiar rolling me and oxygen mask, the nurse pushed the OBERT button, just like last time. I learned that stands for OB Emergency Response Team, so immediately the room fills with people yelling things I don't understand, they all start unplugging me from everything, and the whole party goes down the hall to the operating room. The nurses were being really nice and trying to explain everything to us, and we were just like, don't worry, we got it, not our first rodeo with the OBERT button.

We even had time to snap chat.

They did tell us that they weren't necessarily going to operate, we would wait once we got ready to see if they could get the heart rate back up, which they did, immediately (and that's when we took the above picture, FYI, we aren't totally heartless). We hung out in the OR for a little while longer to make sure things were ok. The heart rate was stabilized, so they brought us back to the delivery room! I was really thankful they were working so hard to both make sure the baby was ok, but also try to get him or her out without surgery, like I wanted.

Then, it was time to wait.

We took more pictures.

Because why not.

They used this "peanut" to put between my legs to encourage the baby to get out.

We watched a How I Met Your Mother marathon, Meet the Parents, and played "Heads Up" to pass the time.

I was awake, I swear.

It gave me a new respect for people who are induced...so. much. waiting. I'm not sure there's anything that makes someone more impatient than waiting to meet their baby after 9 long months. That was true for me, anyway.

Lots of picture taking.

Around noon, I was feeling a lot of pressure, so the nurse checked me and said I was at 8cm. This seemed like great progress - I never even got that far at all last time. Since I wasn't in pain, I was starving, obviously I hadn't had time for any breakfast during our crazy morning. The nurse said my doctor would be in around 4, and I would probably push then, assuming I was at 10cm (which we did).

My doctor came in around 3:30, checked me, and said I was at...8cm, 100% effaced, and baby at -1 station. However, she indicated that she didn't believe I was really at 8cm at my noon check, so I was able to still convince myself I had made progress. She wasn't concerned, and we just hunkered down to wait some more. 

Around 4, the baby's heart rate dropped again. They did the usual measures to increase it, and prepped the OR for me...again. This time, they got the heart rate back up in the delivery room, and I was instructed to stay in one exact position without moving, since it was the only way the baby seemed happy. I was happy to oblige since I REALLY wanted to to avoid that OR.

Around 6pm, my doctor came in to check me again, and I was at...8cm. Based on their expressions, I was getting the idea that this was a bit of a problem. I'd made no progress since 3:30, and probably really not since noon. I was contracting regularly and strongly, so that wasn't the issue, the contractions just weren't finishing the job. My doctor said that the shape and size of my pelvis was most likely just preventing the baby from descending all the way. She said we could just do a c-section, or wait and give the baby more time and see what happened. I asked if she actually thought that would make a difference, and she said no. I trust her completely, so we said to go ahead and get ready for another c-section.

When she left, I shed a few tears. Of course, the first and foremost goal was to have a healthy baby, but I'd really wanted to avoid surgery and get the experience of pushing the baby out, the "natural" birthing experience (with the epidural, I'm not crazy). Plus, my doctor had already told me before that two c-sections means that any subsequent births will need to be c-sections, so this meant I would never get another try at a VBAC. Eric helped cheer me up, mainly by focusing on the fact that we were finally about to meet our baby! The fact that our day of waiting was about to be over went a long way in turning my frown upside down. It was also nice to know that since this was a non-emergency situation, everyone could take their time and I could still have a relaxed, enjoyable delivery.

Once I got past my brief pity party, it was time to get ready for delivery!

Surgery prep - again.

Round 2.

The nurse came in and told me she was going to shave me before taking me to the OR and I was like...WUT. That certainly never happened last time. Apparently it's a common practice in a non emergency situation. Ok then. 

They wheeled me back to the OR, lifted me on to the table, and the anesthesiologist worked on getting me completely numb. I'd been starting to feel contractions again on and off all day. They give you a little button with the epidural to push if you want another dose of the magic numbing juice, and I'd been pushing it. A lot. Obviously you don't want to feel like you need to push it during surgery. Once I was completely numb, they allowed Eric back in. The meds made me feel like I couldn't catch my breath, so they gave me an oxygen mask, which helped a lot. The anesthesiologist asked me if I was nervous, and I was honestly able to say no. I was really relieved it would be my doctor performing the surgery this time (when Dalton was born there was no time to wait for her so they had to grab any doctor that was available). While a c-section wasn't what I wanted, it was familiar and I felt like I knew what to expect. I even told Eric he could go ahead and watch this time (he's talked about doing that since Dalton was born) since I didn't need him to comfort me. 

He said he wasn't going to, so we just held hands. I was pretty woozy from the meds, and also the oxygen mask made it tough for him to understand anything I was saying. We were both expecting the surgery to take 3 minutes, like last time (literally, they did the first incision at 11:13 and Dalton was born at 11:16). However, apparently normal c-sections take a little longer. The whole time, I just felt like a kid in the backseat going "are we there yet, are we there yet?". I was so excited to find out if it was a boy or girl, and had a huge smile on my face under the oxygen mask the entire time. While she was in the middle of things, my doctor told me that the baby would never have been able to come out vaginally, which made me feel better about our decision, although annoyed with my stupid pelvis. 

After what seemed like forever, we heard a baby cry! They called Eric back behind the curtain, and he announced "It's a boy!". Of course I was immediately crying, and after another long wait, the nurse brought our second beautiful son, Royce, over to meet me. Like I suspected all along, it turns out I can love another child as much as my first born. 

Perfection.

Look at my poor little coneheaded boy!

I have a lot more I want to talk about, but since this is already very long and supposed to be just a birth story, and my percocet is kicking in, I'll cut things off for now. It's about time to go snuggle my sweet little baby anyway. I usually proof read but right now I'm just going to blame any errors on the pain meds and sleep deprivation. Give me grace #twoundertwo

#babycomeout

I'm ready. Today is 38 weeks and 3 days and I want this baby out of my body. (But also thinking HOW did I get so far along and sad that it's almost over - I vacillate.) I really never got to that point with Dalton, until I was actually in early labor but didn't realize it. I truly can't complain, I've had it pretty good. Yesterday, I felt like crap, and kept getting in and out of the bath because it was the only way I felt comfortable, which is what I did in labor with Dalton. But, I woke up still pregnant, so, not the case this time.  Today, I actually felt pretty good, which is both enjoyable and annoying, because feeling good does not bring babies into this world. I'm more just ready to MEET THIS CHILD and I'm tired of waiting to snuggle this little baby. Not to mention, find out the sex.

Last time I was struggling with the crippling fear of impending labor, delivery, and worst of all, motherhood, so I was content to put all that off a bit. Now, while I know labor is going to suck, I guess I can't really complain since I could have just skipped it and scheduled a c-section. On the bright side, I now realize motherhood is awesome, so I am beyond excited to welcome a newborn. NOW.

On the other hand, I'm in no hurry for my one on one time with this precious baby to end.



I'm really focused on doing ALL THE THINGS with him right now and just soaking in our fun times together.

Train museum

These two little boys...I can't even with their cuteness. 

Baby bump photobomb

Indoor playground

Crafting - how are ALL his little friends so freaking cute??

Just going for a rainy walk as soon as we wake up - this kid LOVES to be outside!

Al fresco dinner date - first Popsicle!

My amazing girlfriends threw me a sprinkle (baby shower for a second baby) this weekend! I was so excited (it wasn't a surprise, they told me about it).

Absolutely love these ladies!

I didn't think we would have a shower or sprinkle or anything with kids so close together, it didn't really occur to me. We are certainly well stocked with baby stuff! Not knowing the sex means no buying clothes, and we have a good stash of cloth diapers. (Although who knows if we really have enough, I guess time will tell.) But it was wonderful having a bunch of friends together to celebrate the new baby's arrival. They did everything and even though it was at our house, I didn't have to lift a finger and just got to enjoy the party. I can't get over how lucky I am to have such great friends!

 

And of course, eating delicious food. 

It seemed like yesterday we were attending our baby shower for Dalton? Insane. This time we had 7 toddlers running around our house and it was hilarious. I seriously love this age so much. I'm so mad I didn't think to get a group photo (I was trying this thing called enjoying the moment). 

When you try to take a family picture with a toddler...

Ok, first of all, this cake is adorable. Second of all, the inside is super cool. 

Third of all, my sister surprised me with my own snapchat tag? Who even knew you could do that?!

I DID A NURSERY PROJECT! After the sprinkle, I got crazy motivated to get stuff done around the house, which is super unlike me. I didn't even take a nap, and this was on a Saturday. I went on a last minute shopping trip to get some "essentials", like frames for some prints we've been meaning to hang for like 6 months, and a husband pillow (the kind where you sit up with the arms) to nurse in bed. I washed and put away a bunch of baby stuff, although it's mainly just swaddles and towels for now. The only clothes are a few gender neutral sleepers and onesies. I have bins of hand me downs in the basement for either sex, although if Mother Nature doesn't get the memo that it's spring, I'm going to have to get some new stuff anyway!

The project I did was to replace all the handles on Eric's ugly old dresser from his bachelor pad days. While I would still probably consider this dresser an eyesore, it does hold clothes, so we are using it, and I think it's an improvement.

Before - ugly 80s gold and half of them are missing anyway.

After - better lighting, more organization, and silver handles (although they look gold here?)

The changing pad is hasn't arrived yet from Babies R Us, which is irrationally annoying me because Dalton's room is right down the hall and fully equipped for diaper changes. The important thing to remember is that this project is EXTREMELY unlike me. Normally, my thought process would be "well, do the ugly handles open the drawers?". Since the answer was yes, that meant there was no work necessary, and it was time for a nap. BUT, I did the project anyway, purely for aesthetics. Pat on the back for me. Also, I got to use the drill, which was fun. 

I thought all that unnecessary project nonsense was what people refer to as "nesting" and maybe it was time for the baby to arrive, but, no, it's been over 48 hours and still pregnant. 

The end of pregnancy seems kind of like TTC (trying to conceive) to me. While TTC, I constantly over analyzed every single little feeling, sure it meant I was pregnant. I'm tired/achy/headachy/more hungry/less hungry/nauseous/lightheaded etc etc...PREGNANT. Except usually...not. Those were just symptoms of being a human adult. Now I'm in the same boat. My back hurts/I'm more tired/less tired/more hungry/less hungry/nauseous/more insomnia/less insomnia/actually cleaning, etc, etc, I must be going into labor! Except...not. 

By the way, a long time ago when I first announced this pregnancy, a commenter asked me about TTC this time, and I completely meant to post about it. But, I did not, because I'm forgetful. Her question was, since it took us a year to conceive Dalton, was this similar or different? SO different! This time, I got pregnant immediately, which was unexpected, hence the somewhat small age gap between the two kids (19 months). But we are super excited about them being BFF and there's no going back now anyway! And to be quite honest, I found TTC to really suck and be extremely stressful, so this experience was absolutely fantastic and I'm very grateful for it. 

So, that was a lot, but I had to get it all out there. Just in case I go into labor. 

Are you team blue or team pink? Because the sex of my baby should be very important to you and first and foremost on your mind.

Freezer Meal prep

Ok, there is just something about seeing those teeny little newborn diapers and swaddles ready to go in the dresser, right? Eric did a lot of work clearing out the nursery this weekend and you can actually walk in there now.

Still has a bunch of random crap, but LESS random crap.

My friend just asked me what the theme of the nursery is. The theme is "stuff we got for free and/or already owned". See - really old junky dresser, equally old futon because we still plan to use it as a guest room temporarily while the baby sleeps with us.

I even bought a print for the wall which is SO not like me. Now the question is, will I actually get it hung before the kid can talk and voice his or her own preferences? #notlikely There are very few clothes in the dresser yet because even though I am fine with dressing a girl in Dalton's old clothes, I have a giant bin of cute as hell newborn clothes from my niece so I'm holding out to see which one to unpack.

Now I'm at the point where every morning I go through my day and try to get an idea of what we would do if I went into labor at all the various points. Spoiler - most of them are "I don't really know, it's not convenient, I probably won't go into labor today anyway". I'm group strep B positive again, which isn't really worth mentioning except that it means I need to get to the hospital right away if my water breaks to receive antibiotics. And daycare is in the complete opposite direction of the hospital, but my water never broke with Dalton and I got the antibiotics in plenty of time so I'm sure it will all be fine.

I'm pretty sure this baby will be born around my due date (May 13), like his or her older brother. No reason, just my intuition. Speaking of, I have NO clue about the sex. Absolutely none. I was 100% sure Dalton was a boy from 8 weeks on, and had two really vivid dreams the tech told us it was a boy the night before we found out. This time - I've had almost 38 weeks and I'm completely clueless. Eric thinks it's a girl.

I'm blogging right now primarily to brag that I'm pretty proud of myself. With Dalton, I did a pretty decent job preparing freezer meals, especially considering we were in an apartment with a freezer approximately the size of a shoe box.

So much easier with an actual kitchen.

This time, we have plenty of room, but I'm lacking energy. Severely lacking. Like, it's seriously a problem. I was also kind of lost about what to make, because a lot of things that freeze so well (chili, soup, casseroles) aren't always what you're craving on a 100 degree day in July. I had resigned myself to relying on takeout post baby. While that's a delicious option that I appreciate, it's not ideal for the following reasons.

• I'm already not thrilled about spending summer with the post - baby fat, and ordering pizza on the reg isn't going to help anything in that department. 
• The mom guilt is strong with adding a sibling, I really don't need to be feeding my kid massive amounts of takeout to add to that. We're FAR from psychos who don't let our kids eat birthday cake or anything, but I try to give him some nice home-cooked meals which include veggies., even if he doesn't necessarily eat them. 
• It's expensive, and you know what else is expensive? Kids. 

Don't get me wrong, I see plenty of delicious takeout in our future, in fact, it's been a significant part of my pregnancy diet. But I actually got motivated enough to ensure that we will at least be eating some home - cooked, decently healthy (or at least healthier than Dominos) meals this summer. 

In progress

I relied on my friend Jessy's Guide to Freezer Meals (which I highly recommend) and Pioneer Woman, because, it's Pioneer Woman. Here's what I made: 

• PW Enchiladas - Eric is so not a leftover person and he was so mad when I said he couldn't eat the rest of these because I was freezing them for post baby - they are AMAZING.
• PW Turkey Tetrazzini - I made this when pregnant with Dalton and froze it and it was pretty much our favorite frozen meal of them all. 
• PW breakfast burritos - I severely neglected breakfast in my meal prep last time and clearly that's not going to fly with a toddler during round 2. I actually made banana bread several times this pregnancy to freeze, but, it never made it to the freezer. It's so addicted. I've never tried these but they smell delicious and, again, it's Pioneer Woman.

The filling

• Chicken and Parmesan Soup with Spinach and Orzo - I figured we can just blast the AC to get in the mood for this, I made this soup before and it's totally worth eating even in June. 
• Turkey Chili - Same as above, and you just can't go wrong with chili. 
• French Onion Chicken - I didn't save the link for this recipe because it didn't wow us, but we had leftovers that I froze and we would eat it again. 
• My mom's baked ziti with homemade sauce - It's epic. Just trust me. We had it for dinner tonight and there are tons of leftovers to freeze. 

I forgot at least one ingredient for every recipe, because, pregnancy brain, but the following two the forgotten ingredients were crucial, so I plan to finish tomorrow after hitting the store. 

• Balsamic Chicken
• Greek Yogurt Chicken

Jessy has assured me they are both delicious, and will be easy to throw on the grill with some veggies. I loved taking Dalton to the farmer's market as a baby, and I have high hopes of figuring out how to leave the house with two kids and do it again this summer.

I'm also hoping to make How Sweet Eats lactation cookie recipe, because I love all her recipes, and freeze the dough, but I haven't gotten there yet. 

Dalton loves to help in the kitchen. While his company is always appreciated, it's not always helpful. I had to do most of these while he wasn't home, or while Eric was there to assist his helping. I love having him around to cook dinner, but cooking that many meals required serious focus (I made the enchiladas, turkey tetrazzini and french onion chicken earlier but the rest I knocked out in one day).

What's your favorite takeout food? We got Five Guys the other day, and I've carefully considered this, and I really feel Shake Shack is superior to Five Guys. Thoughts? Other current obsessions is a local pizza place near our house, and in general I've just been more into Indian food than usual this pregnancy (but it's always delicious).

Not finding out the sex: thoughts at the end of pregnancy

I'm now most of the way through two pregnancies in less than two years, and in that time, I've completely changed teams. With Dalton, waiting 20 weeks to find out the sex felt like a tortuously long time, and I hated waiting even that long. Then, I found out I was pregnant again before his first birthday, and there was no doubt in my mind that we wouldn't be finding out the sex until the baby arrived.

My loving husband wasn't so convinced - in fact, he was still firmly on the original team. He had these delusions that he would just find out alone at the 20 week ultrasound and let me enjoy my surprise. While I have confidence in his abilities in many, many things, going approximately 5 months without blurting out the correct pronoun for the baby was not one of them. Also, a major reason for not finding out was so we could experience that moment together, when the baby arrives. He still wasn't convinced, so I just had to pull rank - it's not really something we can compromise on, and one of us has to carry this baby for 9 months and then deliver it, so, I win. Sorry not sorry. However, as I predicted, now he's happy we waited and excited for the surprise.

A lot of people have complimented my willpower in not finding out, but I really don't deserve any compliments. I'm honestly so excited to find out at the end that it's been really easy, and I have enjoyed keeping it a secret. Sure, I was tempted at the two ultrasounds where the sex was visible, but that was fleeting (and it helped that Eric wasn't even at the second one since it was unexpected and I rushed out while Dalton was home napping with him).

I really wanted to record all my thoughts about not finding out the sex at the end of this pregnancy, and time is running out! As soon as the baby is here, I know I'll forget what our lives were even like before he or she joined our family (stupid things parents say that are actually true, at least for me) so I need to get on this blog post. While a healthy baby is absolutely 150% the priority, like many pregnant ladies, I have a lot of complex emotions about whether I'm having a son or daughter. I'll also address the questions that we've gotten a lot from people.

1. Realism

I don't think I could have waited to find out the sex with my first pregnancy, and that's something that truly impresses me when people do it. I found the idea that I was actually going to have a baby, and be a mother so unbelievable. I was still in denial it was actually happening while I was getting sent home from work in early labor! Finding out we were having a boy was like an anchor to give the whole idea some sort of basis in reality.

Really needed to break up this text with a picture. 

Probably like most moms, there was never that disbelief in the second pregnancy. In fact, it was a very different approach. I felt like it took me months to even believe I was actually pregnant with Dalton. With this baby, while of course I was still very fearful of something going wrong in the early days, but as soon as I took the test, my thoughts went to how life with a second child would be, rather than just trying to get my head around being pregnant. I didn't feel the need to know the sex to make anything "real", that's for sure.

2. Bonding

I thought maybe knowing the sex would help with bonding before the baby is born, but, eh. Of course I feel a bond with my unborn child while pregnant, but so far my experience with Dalton has shown me that that bond is pretty much a joke compared to how I'll feel when the baby is here. I don't feel any less connected to this baby than I did to Dalton before he was born. Even though I knew he was a boy, I still had no idea what he would look like, act like, or really what it was like to live with a newborn period. Also, with a newborn, does the sex really matter anyway? Other than making diaper changes somewhat different? Babies pretty much do the same limited activities regardless (eat, poop, cry, maybe sleep once in awhile if you're lucky).

3. Complex emotions

I don't really know how to title this one, but I have all the feelings, and I want to try to express them without sounding like an asshole, because I truly don't take a healthy pregnancy for granted for one single second and honestly just want a healthy baby, girl or boy. BUT. This could very well be our last child. We always knew we wanted at least two, so with Dalton, there was no doubt we would at least try for another. Knowing this could be it is a different feeling.

First of all, I would LOVE to have another boy. I mean, I have a boy, and I love it now, so imagine doubling that. And how great would it be to have two brothers who get to grow up so close in age? That's an easy one, because it's all I know right now. I keep picturing the baby as a boy, because that's been my only experience.

I've always, always wanted a daughter. Even when my mom was pregnant when I was six, I was obsessed with the baby being a girl (which it was, obviously that was a sister and not a daughter, but that's where it all began). I have an amazingly close relationship with my mom, and I wanted to experience that as a mother myself. If this baby is a boy, that means it's fairly likely that I never will. I felt like that would be a tough pill to swallow during an ultrasound. When the baby arrives, I know I'll be thrilled beyond belief, and so happy there won't be any room to be disappointed about missing out on that relationship.

What I didn't expect was, now that it's getting close, I'm starting to get scared about having a girl. My bond is so tight and close with Dalton, I can't imagine having that with any other child, but at least a boy is familiar so it seems to be more likely to be possible. I think this is just a variation on the "how can I ever love anyone as much as my firstborn" theme that every second time mom seems to experience though, and I'm not actually too worried because I know I will.

I just love the crap out of this kid. 

4. Names

I know for some couples choosing two names is a serious downside to waiting to find out, but we really lucked out there. We had boy and girl names picked out for years, maybe even before we got married in 2008. The girl name was easy, since obviously we didn't use it last time. We were positive any other boys we had would have to just be Dalton 2, Dalton 3, etc, because we didn't seem to have any other boy names in the entire world we both agreed on. Then, this past summer, just before I got pregnant, we heard a boy's name that we both loved, so it was game on. Now, I'm really obsessed with our boy's name and desperately want to use it, and Eric feels the same about our girl's name.

5. Clothes

It never fails to crack me up how shocked and outraged people get when I say we're not finding out the sex (people our age, generally people of the previous generation get really excited about it). "But what if it's a girl? What will she wear?!". Um, she could wear a green onesie with dinosaurs just like a boy could? Sure, if we have a daughter I won't be dressing her in Dalton's old "ladies man" outfit, but she can use whatever we have, even if it's blue. Also, last I heard, Target isn't closing it's doors when I deliver, so any urges for adorable newborn girl clothes I feel can still be fulfilled. I'm extremely lucky anyway and I have all of my niece and nephew's newborn - 3 month clothes in our basement, just waiting, so I'm good either way. That's where I picked out the two going home outfits from!

Of course, now that I'm 37.5 weeks, I'm extremely antsy to find out what this baby is, but you know who else gets antsy at 37 weeks? EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN EVER. I'm hardly unique there and doubt I'd be feeling any more patient if I knew the sex.

Whether or not you have or want a kid, what team are you on?  Find out the sex asap, or wait until the birth? Now I can't imagine going back if we did have a third kid, but I guess I'll see for sure once the baby is here!

Our first night away from our first baby

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Whatever cool points I ever had are gone

Ok so, I try not to swear on here, but sometimes, it's just necessary, so here's your warning.

SHIT JUST GOT REAL

I'm officially a soccer mom and I freaking love this thing. I thought I was pretty familiar with minivans, since I grew up with one and learned to drive on it, but they have come a long way. I can just push a button and the doors or truck open right up for me. There's SO MUCH ROOM. It's not the reason we bought it, but in my standard transmission honda civic, we were rapidly getting to the point where the place I needed to sit to reach the pedals was not where I needed to sit to accommodate my belly. Now my belly has plenty of space, and not having to wrestle a toddler into a sedan 8 months pregnant is glorious. He's so amazed by the newness of it that right now he doesn't even fight me at all getting in the car seat.

I bought my civic in 2005, right after I graduated from college and got my first real job (which is still my current job). Do you have any idea how many cool things have been invented for cars since 2005? I have satellite radio, navigation, blue tooth, a billion cupholders, and we can even get a DVD player installed that has two separate screens for the two kids. That being said, I'm actually really sad to say goodbye to my civic. 11 years is a long relationship!

Here we are on the last day of spring break. Womp womp. Let's take a look at how I used my time.

Freezer meals made: 0

Closets/drawers cleaned out: 0 

Junk items moved out of baby's room: 0

Naps taken: 3 

Vans bought: 1

"Dates" with Eric: 2

Books read: 2.5

Fun things with Dalton: all of them

Overall, a success. It's been an amazing week of living the sweet life, being a lady who lunches. Monday, Eric and I brought Dalton to daycare and went to test drive vans. We even went out to lunch and shopped for discount Easter candy at Target! That's a date, right?

Eric has been raving about the new movie theater near us that has the fancy pants reserved seating, bar, and restaurant where they bring you food to your seat. We actually have an awesome babysitter that lives a mile away and is amazing with Dalton, and we really need to take advantage of her before she leaves for college/going out is a mess of pumping confusion and not even worth it. We saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. Sequels are always a gamble, but we were legitimately cracking up the whole time and John Stamos even has a cameo! Prior to this week, we've only done 3 "dates" away from Dalton, so this was kind of a big deal.

Then we took selfie stick selfies.

Of course, I've used the majority of my time off to hang out with Dalton. My mom group is all teachers/SAHMs, so we had a zoo date.

These cuties - I can't even! All born within two weeks of each other. 

Dalton very hesitantly brushed a goat. 

After going home for naptime (which didn't happen in our house), we met up that night. Apparently a sushi place downtown has "Toddler Tuesdays". They set up this baby jail and toys and have deals on kids meals.

He looks kind of pathetic in this picture but I swear he LOVED IT. 

Wednesday, just two of us had lunch at "Play Cafe", which is similar in that it has kids items and all the table are near this giant play area. As the name indicates, it's like that all the time and is just overall very kid friendly. Dalton is generally very clingy and stays close to me in new situations, so I was really impressed that he ran right over to the play areas both times and had fun playing on his own - I even used the bathroom and he didn't even notice! 

I ordered a 16oz avocado, blueberry, coconut milk, lime, and mint smoothie for us to share, forgetting that I hate smoothies. No worries, Dalton took care of the entire thing, plus shared both my lunch and his little buddy's lunch.

He couldn't get enough. 

Thursday, we went to baby story hour at the library while Eric finished up our major spring break project (and when I say "our", that basically only refers to the fact that technically my paycheck goes into the joint checking account that bought it). 

Babies need a lot of stuff. We need more room. Hence, shed. 

I didn't totally neglect my second child this spring break. Tuesday, I flipped out because I hadn't felt the baby move all day at the zoo, and this baby is ALWAYS on the move. I called my OB and she sent me to the hospital for a non-stress test (basically measures the heart beat for an extended period) and an ultrasound. The baby is fine, just teaming up with his/her brother by apparently napping all day while he decided not to nap all day. Siblings unite! The ultrasound showed that everything is in place for a VBAC, the baby is growing as it should be, and the baby has hair! 34 weeks today - I cannot wait to meet this little one in about 6 weeks (and not more). It's now April, and I can say I'm due next month!

Because I'm giant and tired and my husband was busy building a shed, we decided it was time to treat yo self. To getting our house cleaned. We had a cleaning lady come over to give us an estimate for a few cleanings after the baby was born. Then she was there and I was just like...I'm enormous and tired and bending down hurts and this house is a freaking mess. Can you start tomorrow? She did and now our house is SO CLEAN and the new van is SO CLEAN and it's literally the only time my vehicle and home will both be spotless and I love it so much. I want all my friends to stop by unexpectedly and then I'll pretend I just live like this normally.

Have you ever used a cleaning service? It was my first time, and it was kind of awkward since we were home for part of it, but I don't even care because everything is so clean and shiny.

Does your city have all these restaurants with baby jails so you can chill with your friends and ignore your kid? I didn't even know this was a thing, and it's awesome.