Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Good eats, celebratory drinks and ways to use all that free time you have while running a marathon





Regarding my last post - it has been brought to my attention that the pregnant woman who ran the super fast for normal people/slow for her 800m race is (self - proclaimed) not trying to be inspiring, hilarious on twitter, and kind of awesome. I might love her now. I liked reading all the comments, which basically boiled down to "I'll do me, you do you". I can get on board with that, but I refuse to be inspired by it. Also, I'd be "doing me" (haha) with the same amount of exercise even if social media didn't exist. Just sayin.
 I did want to clarify that I am ALL FOR PREGNANT EXERCISE. I am not in the "women with child are delicate flowers who must hide in dark rooms" camp at all. I support that middle ground of working out without pushing your limits whole-heartedly. I realize that in the blog world, my own 40+ minutes per day of cardio makes me a lazy fatty, but in some circles (the rest of America, for one) it's solidly within the recommendation for a healthy pregnancy/lifestyle.
Speaking of healthy pregnancies, last night for dinner I made pretzel dogs with beer cheese sauce for dinner.
Eric was a happy man
EPIC. Not sure why it appears to have a thumb.
Don't worry, I served them with Caesar salad, the healthiest kind, and mine was extra healthy and smug because it was made with loganic greens from the farmer's market.
Ok, enough of that, today is a monumental milestone for me.
12 weeks left. Holy crap.
Third trimester! 2/3 of the way there to meet my baby! I know I probably shouldn't be as excited as I am, since it's not even really a milestone, it's all based on guesses and dark arts and whatnot. But I am, and I couldn't wait to see it in writing on the What to Expect app when I woke up this morning.
I also use the Baby Center app, but I need to delete it because it just irritates me and the boards seem to be filled with idiots and nothing but "is babby in belly ok?".
Doesn't that clipart placenta look delicious?
They are both constantly telling me to eat healthy with lots of fruits and vegetables. I find this funny because based on the approximate sizes they've been giving me for various fruits and vegetables, none of the writers have ever been to the produce section in their lives.
I celebrated this morning with a pregnancy ritual that all mothers have fond memories of, based on my Instagram comments.
The glucose test
Pregnancy hormones mess with basically everything, and your body's ability to deal with insulin is no exception (source: Wikipedia). You have four minutes to put your college skills to use, finally, and chug that sugary drink. Then you sit for an hour until they take FIVE vials of blood. I hate needles more than anything, even dogs, and I was not prepared for them to need so much. It's the second most I've had taken at one time during this pregnancy (personal record so far has been 8). Now I wait around and pray that I passed, meaning I don't have gestational diabetes, which would be terrible.
On the ride home I got really irrationally angry at my husband for not having to take the test. I mean, it's OUR child, he provided 50% of the DNA, and he's not even scared of needles. Whose dumb idea was it that women have to carry the children and do all the work?
Tomorrow we leave for a week in upstate NY for a major event - my sister's wedding!



I'm the maid of honor, which I've never done before, a duty I'm super excited about. Most importantly, I picked up my dress from the tailor yesterday and it fits perfectly. I've been concerned since I first POAS (if you don't know what that means, you've never been on baby center, and you're lucky).

Somehow, my pregnant brain forgot that the maid of honor has another pretty important job.

My sister sent out a wedding itinerary last week. I was reading it in bed when I woke up for work Friday, and when I saw "maid of honor speech", I shot up like one of those crazy cartoons.

See, the problem is not just that I forgot, it's that I have HUGE shoes to fill. My sister's MOH speech at our wedding was serious literary genius, and I cry and laugh every year when we watch our wedding video, for real. I knew at the time that the pressure was on, and then I foolishly created extra pressure by spending the next six years becoming a famous blogger, renowned for my way with words. I also always planned on relying heavily on liquid courage, since I'm of the mindset that death is preferable to public speaking, but that's out the window too.

Luckily, pre-pregnancy, back when I was able to think thoughts, I did give this some consideration. When I ran the Bob Potts marathon last year, I spent about miles 1-10 deep in thought about what I should say, and then made notes when I got home, and put them in a safe place. Shockingly, I didn't forget what that safe place was, and was able to retrieve them and turn them into a speech over the weekend.  And I bet non-runners thought marathons were just a way to torture ourselves physically.

I was going to just pretend I never forgot until after the wedding and then tell the story if and only if the speech was a success. But I had two trusted friends read it and give me the thumbs up, so that's basically the same thing. I feel like that girl in Coyote Ugly - I enjoy the writing, but now I'd really like Leanne Rimes to come and perform my speech for me.

Just like this, except one of us would be twice that size.

Fingers crossed it ends like this.
Thoughts on the glucose test? I thought it tasted like soda - no big deal, went down pretty easy. I wouldn't drink it just for kicks, but not bad.
Tips/things to avoid while giving speeches? I plan to follow Jim's advice to Dwight, mainly.


  1. When I had to give a MOH speech, I took a shot before I did it. That really helped. That's not helpful for you though.

    I expect lots of instagram pics of your sister's weekend this weekend, especially Harrison in a little suit. :)

    1. I'll have to rely on picturing everyone in their underwear, I guess.

  2. I gots the dreaded diabeetus! I found out two weeks ago, and this last week I've had to follow the diet guidelines, log everything I eat, and test my blood glucose four times a day. Luckily my numbers have been great so far (and I didn't "fail" the test by much), so I'm hoping they'll let me off the hook a little bit and not make me test after every single meal. Honestly, the diet isn't that bad if you're already used to eating pretty balanced, and it's making me get off my ass throughout the day, so s'all good.

    Long-winded way of saying good luck and I hope you pass, but if you don't, it's really not that bad! (And I can still have chocolate!)

    1. Oh no! Ok thanks so much for letting me know you can still have chocolate....that is a huge relief! And there's "only" 12 more weeks anyway....right?

  3. The last sentence of this post is my favorite.

    I live in fear that my sister will ask me to be her moh one day. Her speech at my wedding was amazing and there is no way I can come close.

    1. I recommend running a marathon to sort out your feelings if it does happen.

  4. Here's my question to you and I'll judge you on your response. Do you schedule all of your appointments so that Eric can go to them? Now remember, I work in an OB/GYN office and get to schedule those appointments. It's REALLY fun when they are down to biweekly and weekly schedules and the dad is out of the state for a week. They freak out and can't figure out just what to do!

    Avoid saying "Lets drink this these "mofo's" out of beer!" It doesn't go over well.

    By the way. We drank them out of beer....so they took my advice....they just didn't like me pointing out their alcoholism.

    1. "Let's drink these "mofo's" out of beer" is what that should say.

    2. He doesn't go to most of them. Like you said, it is hard enough to find time in one teacher's schedule for them, both of us taking off work so the doctor can weigh me, test my pee and hear the heartbeat seems pointless. He just went to the sonograms and the first appt to meet the dr. Do lots of women bring their husbands? I prefer he save up his sick time for after the baby arrives. I think that line would go over pretty well, especially with the groom's religious, conservative family. I'll try it and get back to you!

  5. I loved the yummy orange drink with the glucose test, I wanted more, but they wouldn't give me more.
    I couldn't do babycenter either, too many stupid questions and stupied answers.
    Good luck with the maid of honor speech!

  6. Good luck with the MOH speech! You are going to do great! Have fun at the wedding :)

  7. I just had to google POAS! I really tried to figure it out but clearly, the lack of baby makes that expression foreign to me :)

    I have to give a speech at my sister's wedding in September and her wedding is this HUGE, incredibly formal affair. I'm already stressing about it too because it's been awhile since I"ve needed to speak in front of hundreds of people!

  8. Public speaking is the worst form of torture, there are very few things I'd rather not do. I'm sure you'll be amazing though. I'm super impressed you were able to remember and then make notes after the marathon for your speech! I always have super deep thoughts while doing my long runs and then the moment I stop, apparently so does my brain.

    I had the red drink for the glucose test and I just thought it tasted like really sweet fruit punch.

  9. I don't understand the glucose test even tho friends have tried to explain it to me. I get that it's about trying to see how your body handles sugar, but at what point in pregnancy are you going through that many grams of sugar??? i heard that bottle has like SO much sugar. Just doesn't make sense.


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