Pregnancy contradictions

I'm not a huge fan of spontaneity. If it's Tuesday and we have plans to meet up with friends over the weekend, I need to know exactly who's coming, what time, and where we're going. Immediately.

I'm slowly learning that with pregnancy, you have to take it day by day. Just when I think "ok, this is how things are now", the next day is totally different. Probably that's the case once the baby arrives too, aka forever, but one thing at a time.

Example 1: Running

Friday, I was psyched up for a good run. I hopped on the treadmill, and hopped right back off after 6 minutes. All sorts of weird aches and pains were happening, and I'm not a sadist. I went to the gym and did the elliptical instead.

Saturday, for some inexplicable reason, I tried again. Probably because I felt like watching Netflix and the gym doesn't have WiFi. This time, I had a great run.

FYI, a "great run" at 30 weeks pregnant means no new and fun problems aside from the normal discomfort, no Braxton Hicks, only one bathroom break, and no extra walk breaks in addition to the planned intervals. It's probably what I would refer to as "abysmal" normally, but it's all relative.

I go into runs now with the idea that if it happens today, great, if not, I can walk or do something else.

Example 2: Eating

People say "you're eating for two", which I fully endorse when convenient, but I often feel like I'm eating for 1/2. In reality, it's probably just the volume a normal person eats while not training for a marathon. But my appetite is all over the place and completely unpredictable.

We went out for burgers and fries our first night in the Poconos. My burger and fries lasted me THREE separate meals (just a regular sized burger, fyi). One night I legit had less than a quarter of the burger and maybe 15-20 fries for dinner and was Thanksgiving - level stuffed. Like I couldn't sleep four hours later because I was so full. And it wasn't like I was coming off a huge lunch, all I'd eaten then was a Wawa soft pretzel. I'm competing for the healthiest pregnancy diet award, and TOTALLY winning.

Sunday, we went out for brunch with friends. I had the "Trifecta" - two eggs, one sausage link (lame, right? They could have given me two) and a Belgian waffle. I cleaned my plate, plus I'd had a banana right before we left for the diner. I consider that a fairly big meal, and yet when I got home like 2 hours later, I was starving. As in, stomach audibly grumbling, thinking about even salad was making my mouth water (I didn't have one though, I had more fried green tomatoes and pimento cheese).

My highly educated guess is sometimes the baby decides to crush my stomach and sometimes he doesn't.

Example 3: Peeing

I've always had a crazy small bladder and shocked people with my ability to constantly search for a bathroom. But I've held on surprisingly well during the many, many road trips I've taken so far this month. I can do a 6 hour trip with maybe only 2 stops. But then I had to take three bathroom breaks yesterday while cooking dinner. The body is a mystery.

Example 4: Sleep

My books, apps, and friends were all clear that the first trimester would be insanely tiring, and I'd want to sleep all the time. Except I never felt that way. I wouldn't say I had boundless energy, and suddenly being disgusted by coffee took a toll, but overall I felt pretty much like I normally do. I did get hit with some insomnia, but on the bright side, I got a ton of extra reading done.

Immediately after I entered the third tri, being awake suddenly became exhausting. The mere act of waking up and having breakfast seemed to call for a nap. No matter how much sleep I get, I never feel rested. It might have to do with the fact that it's summer. I mean, the couch is right there after lunch, and I no pressing appointments, so why not nap? Regardless, once the upcoming school year begins I have a feeling I'm in for a rude awakening.

Example 5: Baby movement

Yesterday he was quiet all day and I barely felt anything. Today he's back to pushing, kicking, rib jabbing, hiccupping, and all sorts of crazy acrobatics from what I can tell. All my baby apps say to count movements, but my doctor emphatically told me not to unless I wanted to drive myself crazy. I have numerous other ways to do that so I decided to follow her advice. Supposedly fetuses are just like people and have more active and more tired days like we do. Crazy.

Example 6: Emotions

I haven't really had any epic sob fests over commercials or anything. I'm pretty emotional in general, and it's not abnormal for me to cry over a sitcom or other similar minor event. I'd really have to lose my mind over something not remotely sad to approach the realm of "unusual" in terms of emotional reactions. I'll admit to fits of anger, but those are easier to keep a secret.

The contradiction here is just how fast my feelings about what's next can vacillate. One second, I have kid on Christmas morning excitement over meeting my baby, and getting to see what he looks like, and holding him, etc., etc. The next - complete and utter panic over the fact that I'm about to have an infant's life in my hands. Not to mention the fact that the universe is trusting me to raise a child. Or that I'll never sleep again. Or a million other things. What exactly am I getting myself into here?

 Do you like spontaneity, or are you a psycho planner like me?