Sunday, August 16, 2015

Rambling: mainly whining, a little trying to be positive

The school year starts tomorrow and the cliche we all say every single August has never been more true: where in God's name did summer go?

Loves being dunked!

So proud of himself.

I'm trying to focus on the positives of a new school year beginning but there's definitely a struggle. Mainly, missing my babies. I've mentioned on here before I was with my previous class for three straight years (I looped with them from 3rd-5th grade) so this will be my first time greeting a new class in quite a while. I was kind of attached to those guys (the looping was at my request/begging).

I'm about the least touchy feely, warm and fuzzy person out there (the reason I'll never win teacher of the year), so it's a big deal for me to say things like "my babies" and "I'm attached". My friend just pointed out that I am Ranger Roy from Full House, best known for having panic attacks where he stopped breathing if someone tried to touch him. Yes. This is me. I hate human contact.

It worked out great because the whole class was trained to understand that I will not hug anyone but they understood that I loved them all anyway. I'm not thrilled to have to retrain a whole new bunch.

That's how I feel about it.
Naturally, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I'm devastated to leave my actual baby full time again. I know I have been super lucky to have had extra time with him this summer. (But keep in mind, even if you don't get that at your job, you probably get things like raises, a desk, and air conditioning.) Summer school was part time, so I picked him up before lunch each day. It was glorious. And I did some curriculum writing/professional development/planning, but even though those were full days, they weren't nearly as long as full days during the school year.

I even had a handful of week days completely off. I think my favorite feeling in the world is waking up and going to get him (or, let's get real, sometimes waking up and rolling over to see him) and knowing that we get the entire day together and I don't have to be away from him at any point.

Waking up next to this face...I don't hate it.

Days of nothing but playing are the best

This is why I'm insanely jealous of stay at home moms. I know I'm supposed to be rah rah rah yay strong women and I'm grateful I have a job I enjoy and I'm proud that we're setting the example that we work as a team to provide for the family in our household. BUT I would give anything to have that feeling every morning (but maybe I need to spend time away from him to fully appreciate it? I can tell myself that at least). I'm just greedy and there's never enough time with him. Side note - my friend Jessy just wrote an excellent post about being a working mom.

Every day with this guy - living the dream

Back to the positive. I love my coworkers, and I got to know some students in summer school and they seem pretty cool. It's not like I'll never see Dalton again and there are worse problems to have than being obsessed with your child and missing him while at work. New beginnings are always exciting, and I'm feeling like it will be a good year. Especially since I'll be leaving this life sucking machine behind.

I kept wavering back and forth like crazy but about an hour ago I decided it's official. Dalton only nurses once during the daytime lately, generally barely even that. He's way too busy exploring, playing, and being a wild child.

In an effort to save some of our precious time together, I made some crock pot freezer meals. I did this last summer, because it's the thing to do while pregnant. Then I realized it's just an awesome idea in general, and doesn't have to be limited to huge life changes.

Did you know babies can't have honey until they are a year old because of botulism? I had to label certain recipes for after September 23 when it's safe. 

As much as I'm struggling with going back to work, I'm not exactly nailing it on the parenting front either. We have new teeth, which has led to biting, which has paired with separation anxiety, and bedtime has become a complete and utter cluster. Seriously, it's a nightmare. Except not, because that would require sleeping.

On that note, onward to my most hated task in all of life: setting up a classroom. I would truly rather spend the week cleaning toilets. Teaching, I like. Decorating, I freaking despise.

What's your absolute most hated task about your job?


  1. Staff meetings! There's always some interactive activity. Just tell me what I need to know. Don't make me play games with coworkers.

  2. Dealing with outside vendors/talking on the phone. Who talks on the phone anymore???

  3. It's tough to pick just one!
    I thought it was only raw honey that posed a risk to babies? I think cooking with it is fine. But don't take my word for it.
    Leaving your pump behind is so liberating!!!!

    1. I just googled and it sounds like cooking with honey does not remove the risk.

  4. The worst part of work is being forced to talk on the phone. It's torture.

  5. Thanks for sharing- Someone told me with raw honey it's 2 years and with regular it's one? There's so much varying information. Our pediatrician said one year so we go by that, although she ate cereals with it before then and had no issue (I didn't even realize until after she ate it).

    Thanks for the share.

  6. I've got to second (third) the phone thing. The worst is phone calls from an unknown number. It's ok if you're expecting someone to return your call and you recognize the number. But the unknown number and the possibility of a disgruntled parent on the other end, before you've had a chance to gather any information on the situation is not fun.

  7. PS, any crockpot recipes you'd recommend? That was my goal for what I thought would be 2-3 weeks of maternity leave before baby. But then I went to the hospital 2 days after I stopped work so there was ZERO preparation. Crockpot recipes are about all I can handle right now. Turns out I can't juggle timing of multiple pots/pans on the stove and consoling a crying 3 month old.

  8. I only get 2 weeks off from school, which is not enough. I feel like having summers off would be worse than not having summers off. You have to dread going back to work after a nice, long "vacation." If you don't get summers off at all, you never know what you're missing. So what I'm saying here is, we should never take time off so we don't know what we're missing.


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.