Monday, August 10, 2015

The opposite of baby fever

Eric and I spared ourselves the annoyance of having everyone asking when we would be getting engaged while we were dating by just getting engaged relatively quickly (after 11 months). Then we made up for it by waiting 6+ years to procreate. This gave us plenty of time to enjoy people requesting and/or ordering us to have children. I recommend everyone ask any married childless couple these questions as much as humanly possible, it's so much fun to hear. I'm even guilty of it myself.

"Another baby in your life? Unthinkable."

I thought actually having a child would finally put an end to that, but no, as soon as the kid is out of the womb, sometimes even before, it starts again. "When are you having number 2? You really should do it now before you get too old." Well you really should pay our daycare bill if you want that so bad and while you're at it maybe breastfeed this hypothetical baby because I would like a hot minute with no one on my boobs.

Hard to blame people....we are a beautiful family, as evidenced by this perfect photo.

As cute as another child would be, after a year of trying for a baby (aka giving up alcohol 2 weeks of every month), 9 months of pregnancy, and (hopefully) a year of breastfeeding, I selfishly just want a tiny bit of time with my body being just mine. Crazy, I know. We 150% do want another child. Eventually.

I had a real fear the baby fever would hit me this weekend. We went to New York to celebrate my nephew turning 3, and to snuggle my adorable new niece, who is one month old today. I understand it sounds ridiculous to talk about baby fever when I do, in fact, have a baby. They just change so quickly! My baby is no longer a little teeny tiny baby like Sloane! There's nothing like seeing a newborn to get those ovaries aching. But, at the same time, there's nothing like seeing the mom of a newborn breastfeeding constantly while recovering from a c-section to remember how much I don't miss that. I love breastfeeding, but it's a lot easier now that I'm not chained to my baby nursing 24/7. I do not love having holes cut in my abdomen.

I'm sure nothing can truly prepare anyone for the reality of how overwhelming two kids is. However, I very briefly took over for my sister, mom to a 3 week old and a 3 year old. When I say briefly, I mean like 30 minutes so she could shower. That made it real enough for me. I'm really enjoying devoting all my energy and love to just one child for now, and I'm not ready to completely lose my mind just yet.

And I didn't even have Dalton at the time I was watching the other two.

Dalton seems to me to be a pretty awesome baby, the absolute perfect, best baby ever, in fact, although it's possible I may be biased. I'm positive our next child will be his total opposite and this frightens me. In particular, I feel we have been exceptionally lucky that he is not a crier (as far as babies go), he's generally very happy, and has always been a good eater and gained weight consistently. Clearly the next one will be colicky, terrible at nursing, and probably only eat purees until 18 months to punish us for having it so easy this time around. Although, by that logic, at least the next baby will be a great sleeper.

On the drive up, we once again took a hit in the "things every single baby loves but not yours" category (see also: Rock and Play, Swing). When we did the ten hour drive to Ohio last month, we just left at naptime and took tons of breaks. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't great. "Leave at bedtime!" said every parent ever. "They'll just sleep the whole time and won't even know they are in the car, and then whoever sleeps in the car can wake up with the baby!". Well, I already knew that driving late at night OR sleeping in the car were both out of the question for me, so I just had to accept that I wasn't going to be sleeping that much. It seemed like a fair trade for a peaceful trip that didn't ruin Dalton's life by confining him to the car seat during peak playtime hours.

He's really devoted to his playing.

We left at 6:45 and Dalton was passed out by 7. Everyone was right! We were chatting and laughing and everything was just fine and dandy until we stopped for a bathroom break about 2 hours later. Dalton woke up and was like WTF THIS IS NOT MY CRIB THIS IS TERRIBLE. We tried everything to calm him but he was screaming hysterically and crying real tears and did not appreciate that he could see me but I couldn't pick him up, unless we stopped, which kind of defeated the purpose of the trip. I can't stand to hear him cry for even three seconds, as evidenced by the fact that I would rather spend ten months waking up every night than five minutes letting him cry it out. And he seriously never cries like that, even when he gets hurt. It went on forever although in reality it was probably like ten minutes, but that was enough and we both were just like NO and decided to get a hotel. As usual, my mom hooked us up and found one on Priceline that was 15 minutes away and only $61. Binge watching Giggle Gang kept things at an angry snuffling level rather than screaming like a banshee, and as soon as he was out of the car and in the king sized bed, he was beyond thrilled and ready for a relaxing night of sleep.

I woke up to him attempting to crawl off the edge of the bed.

So ready to let us all get some sleep. 
How does such a tiny person take up an entire king sized bed?
Finally, the next day, we made it to my sister's house. This was the first time all three cousins had been together, and as you might imagine, the grandparents were just thrilled.

 Sloane's grumpy face...I die.
Harrison couldn't even stand looking at the above picture. Just the memory upset him.

Despite appearances, I swear these two little boys were psyched to see each other.

Dalton just crawled around the yard, chasing Harrison and his mower. And we died of cuteness.

And then somehow we decided the cuteness wasn't even enough and brought in more from outside sources. My friend Jessy (check out her blog, it's awesome!) brought her adorable daughter over to visit. 

Yeah, this collar's popped.
We were good friends in high school, but lost touch and I don't think we've seen each other in...14 years? We both had babies and reconnected. I swear motherhood is the best thing I've ever done for my social life, aside from blogging.

I got 3.5 days of no work, newborn snuggles, hilarious 3 year old stories and dances, slobbery open mouth Dalton kisses, and delicious food. It was a perfect little summer vacation.

Ladybug bum STOP with the cuteness baby girl clothes!
Even managed to enjoy some time with the adults in the family, in this case laughing at childhood photos.
Apparently a lot of babies Dalton's age have separation anxiety. I wouldn't know, because my child came out of the womb with separation anxiety. Anyone who has met him knows he really, really likes to keep tabs on me. Travel really intensified things, though. By our third day in New York I couldn't even run to the bathroom without him screaming in panic? Anger? I can't even pretend I don't love it. I want him to be a mamas boy for life.

Eric wanted to play with him so badly, and he just wanted to keep a death grip on my knee.
Which question is more annoying: 
  • When are you getting engaged?
  • When are you having a baby?
  • When are you having a second baby?
Do you believe in the rule that everybody gets one "easy" baby (so if it's your first, you're screwed)?


  1. I actually LOLed when i spotted Eric in that last pic, it is perfect. i recently got married and received a baby book as a completely serious wedding gift, but luckily the baby pressure is new enough i can still see the humor in it. we will see how i feel about baby questions 6 months down the road!

  2. Wow, Harrison is getting so big! I remember when he was born-- growing like a freaking weed!

  3. I was getting SO annoyed at my SIL this weekend because she kept talking about my "next one" like a warning. "Leif is so easy and great, but good luck with your second." Um, lady, you have a two month old, who are you to talk? Also, second one???"

  4. No one asks me about having more kids. Two seems like a good stopping point for most people I guess.

  5. My first one was "easy" aside from being a total crap sleeper. My second is in fact easier, and a good sleeper! So maybe you're not limited to just one easy baby? I'm sure I'll be punished later when they're in school or teenagers or something.

  6. I don't know about the kid questions, but as someone single just past 40, what I get is, "Don't you WANT to ever get married?" I want to be an old lonely woman living as a hermit forever. What possible reason would I want love or a partner in my life? It used to not bother me, but lately it really stings when people ask that.

  7. I certainly hope the 2nd one isn't the opposite of A because then I'm in trouble- I love my easy baby (which is not evidenced in the above photo- I swears she's usually much happier than she looks). I'll have to have a talk with her about mean mugging her boyfriend...On a side note Dalton was even cuter in real life than on the net. I didn't know this was possible. Handsome Baby ftw.

  8. I've learned that babies--even your own--are just completely different even though they have the same set of genes. My friend had an awful first baby and she was scared to have a second, but then her second was extremely quiet and peaceful. Another couple I know had a super easy first baby and then a horrible second baby and they were shocked by the difference since they were parenting the same. It's just crazy..

  9. Waiting til we were married 7 years to get knocked up meant the baby question had kind of tapered off. I think I get more questions about the next one or how many from strangers. Had an older guy at Costco last week say "first one? I love babies. had ten of 'em." O.o My pregnancy was pretty easy except for the high bp at the end and long-ass induction, not sure I would be as lucky second time around. As for the baby- I wouldnt say shes been super easy in the fussiness department but at least she does sleep well at night now. I have a few friends who say if their 2nd kid had been their first, they wouldn't have had another. Not sure yet if we want to play the odds on a second...


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.