Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I've been living a lie

I'm glad everyone loved yesterday's vlog! To all those who commented about what a "good sport" my husband is - you really need to meet him in person. It was all his idea, I just went along with it.

I have yet another confession this morning. I realized I've been putting forth a bit of lie on this blog. I've posted repeatedly about how I lack inhibitions.

Sure, I used a youtube instructional video to learn the Soulja Boy dance for my wedding song (I tried to find it to embed it, but I couldn't find the actual one I used in 2008). So here's the actual video, for your enjoyment.

We looked exactly like the video
 I also continued in that fashion with my signature karaoke rendition of Baby Got Back later on during the reception. In front of all my friends, family, and everyone I'd ever met.
Everyone's reaction to looking at old wedding pictures is "I WANT ANOTHER ONE", right?
I've also been known to sing karaoke in all sorts of bars, or even in broad daylight in the middle of a festival, and apparently knowing the words or the song at all is totally optional. (My Humps is way more than the chorus, BTW). 

But, for some reason, my comfort level with singing doesn't extend to speaking. I've worked at my school for seven years, and feel 100% comfortable talking to anyone on the staff, but speaking in front of everyone at a faculty meeting, no matter how informal it is, gets me sweaty and red faced immediately. I hated college classes where participation was part of your grade, because raising my hand to give the briefest of answers instantly raised my heart rate.

So, you can guess how I'm feeling about giving a presentation on my final project to my grad class today, despite the fact that this is my fourth consecutive class with all the same people. To make it even more fun, someone who will determine who gets the limited jobs that we will all be going for when we graduate will be there, to asses future candidates. No pressure, though.

Random fact - I've been extra special this week. Saturday morning I dropped my breakfast and made a huge mess, Monday night I did the same thing with my dinner, and yesterday I dropped my phone and broke it beyond all use and repair. Go me.

I was going to swim this morning but after laying awake panicking about my presentation last night, I thought a run might help me de-stress more. Running before the sun comes up always guarantees negative splits for me. At first, I'm half asleep and barely moving. At the turnaround point (it also guarantees I run the exact same out and back route, the only one with well - lit sidewalks), I get pissed at myself for going so slow and feel the need to speed up to get my average pace up. My splits are pretty clear evidence of this.

9:06 (downhill)
8:18 (back uphill)

Maybe a 5 min walk/job warmup would help my legs wake up and avoid the slow start? 

Any other ideas? I need them, training starts this Saturday (not that I have a plan yet). 

What are your thoughts on public speaking?


  1. A huge part of why I'm having trouble getting through my PhD is my complete lack of public speaking skills. I totally freeze and will agree with anyone who makes a comment even if I know they are probably wrong. It's awesome. I have to give a seminar on January 18 and I'm already freaking out about it. My only advice is to practice for days straight. I've even made people watch my presentation on Skype. It really does help. Good luck!

  2. My mom has this saying she got from somewhere, "At a funeral, the majority of people would rather be the stiff in the coffin than the person giving the eulogy". Yeah, public speaking, even in a room of more than three people, makes me wish I was dead. Every time. Great pre-work run! We have no lit streets near our house. When I get my own place, it WILL be near a good running area with street lights!

  3. Public speaking makes me want to throw up! I hate it more than most things.

  4. I hate public speaking. HATE IT. I would rather write like a 50 page paper than speak for 30 seconds in front of a large group. Good luck tonight!!!

  5. I speak in front of huge groups for my job all the time (shocking, I know, since in blogworld I act like a 13 year old). It helps to have a lead-in for each slide/section clearly written out. I always write out the first sentence I'm going to say, and then spell out several bullet points below that. Good luck!

  6. I am the same way with public speaking. Once I ended up in the hospital because I was so sick (not related to speaking in public) and missed a presentation I had to give. The prof gave me a pass on it and said I didn't have to present later. It totally made hospitalization worth it.

  7. I hate public speaking...and I'm a criminal attorney. Yup, that means jury trials. I have to say, the more I do it, the better it gets. Hang in there...practice makes it easier.

    As for your run, I am slow in the beginning and I don't walk to warm up. I can walk for 5min or run for 5min and I'd rather have those 5min count towards my running time. Besides, I like negative splits. They make me feel fast at the end. What are you training for now?

  8. I feel the same way. I have no issues speaking to complete strangers but get very nervous about doing a presentation. However, I must ask - when you have done public speaking do you feel AMAZING afterwards?? b/c I usually do. I love doing presentations. I find the biggest thing is to KNOW your topic b/c if you really know what you have to discuss it makes everything easier and more natural. Hold onto that feeling - public speaking is just like a run; hard to get through but you feel GREAT at the end ;)

    CONGRATS btw and good luck xo

  9. I feel the same way about public speaking - in college I enrolled in, and dropped the public speaking class three times. Gives me anxiety just thinking about it!

  10. Wow, great last mile and uphill too!

    I hate public speaking too. I was ok with doing it at work because I usually had briefing materials like powerpoint or graphics. But giving a speech at a wedding? Shoot me.

    You're going to rock it :)

  11. Love that your hubbs is game for all that fun!

    I get nervous but I actually like having a capture audience who is forced to listen to me. I wish I were a professor!

    Training! YEAH!

  12. i always start slow in the winter because of the cold. i used to think it was because of the early wake-up call but i don't have any issues getting into the zone in the summer.

    i love public speaking!!!!

    at my wedding, me and my bridemaids did the thriller dance and later on, i lip synced "let me clear my throat" that song!!!! i think we would get along well :)

  13. If i ever meet you, we are TOTALLY going to karaoke. My signature song is "Woomp! There It Is" :)

  14. I don't think there is anything wrong with the first mile being slow & warming up. There are some jokes around about the stereotype of Kenyans starting out so slowly at the beginning of training runs.

  15. I'm getting married next October and I have already made it perfectly clear that Baby Got Back will be played during the reception. I never thought of doing karaoke...

  16. Love the dancing picture and the karoke pictures too! I can only imagine how much fun you guys had at your reception!


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.