Friday, January 6, 2012

If you join a gym, you must be fat

So many workouts to discuss/complain about, and so few pictures to show.

Wednesday night I activated a free 12 day pass I had for a local gym (Merritt) so that I could take bootcamp class. I'd been a Merritt member for around 4 or 5 years (it's one of those awesome, super expensive, waste of money gyms) so I was pretty familiar with the layout. I didn't want a bunch of annoying calls about joining, so I made it exceptionally clear that I was only using the pass, there was no way in hell I would be enrolling, and I'd already been a member so I knew exactly what joys I'd be missing out on by not signing up. I was still forced to go on the half hour tour. Good use of my time.

Maybe forcing the tour on me is just standard procedure, and it was January 3rd and I was using a free gym pass, but did the enrollment guy really have to immediately ask me if I were there to lose weight? I'd love to say I have perfect self esteem and I just laughed in his face, but that's not the case. Believe it or not, there are actually other reasons people may exercise in January. I'm really upset that I wasn't quick enough to come up with an appropriate reply. Next time, I'll pretend I need to use the bathroom, tweet it, get your awesome comebacks, and then go get him. 

I finally was released to do a quick elliptical warmup and then the bootcamp class. I was really nervous about attending, and I was right to be. My friend at work was all like "no, why are you nervous, you're in shape!". I may be able to run for an hour with no problems, but an hour on this:
The evil BOSU


is a different story. Especially when it's mainly upper body and core work. I swear the trainer running the class had Dolvett's body (not quite as attractive, but close).
This is for you, Emily.

He also had his loud, booming voice, which is a lot more fun to listen to on TV. Staring at him wasn't as much fun when you are terrified he is going to come over to you and make you start doing up and down planks on the BOSU again while you are secretly taking a break because he's picking on someone across the room.

I survived. Barely.

Thursday morning I got up to run before work for the first time all week (I'm easing back in), and made it to the YMCA (my usual gym) in time to totally F up some 800s. The last time I did them I had awesome negative splits, and ended at a 7:06 pace. So, obviously, even though I'm still recovering from bronchitis, and had gone to bootcamp less than 12 hours before, and I had to do an extra interval this week, I decided to start at 7:06 this week. 

I did my first interval at 7:13, because I can't read numbers correctly at 6am, second at 7:19, and then when my heart rate was at 193 in the third, I moved it back to 7:30 and started walking instead of jogging for the recovery. My heart rate still got into the 190s for each interval (7 in all), and I continued to fear I'd fall off the treadmill having a heart attack and my emergency sub plans weren't totally ready. FYI, 190 is a ridiculously high heart rate (for me, I'm not a doctor, so all I know is I don't see it on my HRM monitor much and it feels horrible). Usually a really intense workout might get me to 183 or 184. 

After all that, I went to Bikram (intense yoga done at 115 degrees) after work, and I swear it was even hotter than usual. My skin felt like it was going to ignite. I always looks like I jumped in a pool after, but this time even the clothes I changed into after class were soaked with sweat within minutes. See why there are no pictures?

Luckily, today is a rest day.

What would you have told the guy at the gym who asked if I was there for weight loss? If I get any especially good responses, I might just have to sign up for a free week at another gym just to try them out.

15 comments:

  1. Haha, I'd say "no, why? Do I look fat?" It's the question all men fear. He would have felt awful!

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  2. I still like my response: "No...I'm here to augment my anger management classes" and then just stare at him and let the uncomfortable silence stretch on.

    You work out a ton, jeez. :)

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  3. Ha - my experience was worse. The gym I joined when I first got to Georgia and the guy asked me *HOW MUCH* weight hubby and I wanted to lose. We both said none. I guess it's just that common!

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  4. How do you have time for all of these classes AND running?? You're going to be so jacked in 2012 :)

    I already told you my response to gym man. Save it for next time.

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  5. I would've been totally dumbfounded if asked that as well and am sure I would not have been able to come up with anything witty in response.

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  6. i would have given him my best "f**k off" face! what an ass!

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  7. "I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to gain awesome."

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  8. You are the workout queen! What an ass. Did you tell him that you have run several marathons and a 50 miler in the past few months and could kick his punk ass anyday?

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  9. I seriously like Jessica's answer. You could wipe up the floor with the dude you are that bad ass. What a dumbass. Or you could have said "No, but you have weight to lose."

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  10. Yum. Thanks for the picture ;-)

    I'm with Kara's previous answer of punching him and then telling him that, no, you're there to work on your anger management.

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  11. I love it! I would've said....no, why?

    b/c that in itself would make him look like a fool.

    never assume!

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  12. I probably would have told him to go F^&^ himself...buts that cause i haven't had time to work out in a couple of days and it makes me cranky! the non-cranky jackie probably just would have giggled a little bit.

    rock on! boot camp, yoga and treadmill 800s....you are a machine!

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  13. Why the hell does Blogger keep eating my comments? UGH! Anyways, I probably would have told him that I was joining a gym so I could eat extra cake. What a douche.

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  14. I personally like the supplementing anger management response. ;) And thank you for the Dolvett picture!

    I might have said - that "I am looking to strength train so that when I punched idiots, it hurts more. My lawyer says I'll get the same criminal penalties either way."

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  15. Love the Dolvett picture! I probably would have laughed in his face but I have a tendency to do that when I'm nervous.

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Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.