My dog aversion: The History

I do a lot of bitching and moaning about work (hopefully this statement surprises you because I've successfully limited it to Twitter and real life). I definitely don't say enough positive things about it. So, I'll say this blog post is brought to you by two of my wonderfully amazing work friends. Both of them are teaching my class tomorrow (at different times) so that I can work on report cards, which is why I'm currently typing this blog instead of endless comments. How great is that?


Of course, no one wants to read a lovey-dovey blog about how magical and special everything is, just like no one wants to read Facebook updates about how much this person loves their significant other (who is probably sitting on the couch next to them as they type it). At least, that's how I feel. I try to limit Facebook interactions with my husband to ones that mock him in ways that I feel the world should know, instead of just being limited to private interactions that only we experience. He just updated his status and used the wrong form of "there", and even though I'm not a grammar nazi, I'm struggling not to call him out.


So, let's do some complaining.


Yesterday, as I was about to leave for work, I knocked over the coffee grinder, which decorated my just-cleaned kitchen with coffee grounds. Everywhere. I knew I'd leave for work, forget all about it, and get super pissed when I got home and saw it later that night. 

Then, I started to walk to my car, and an unleashed dog ran directly at me while its owner stood across the parking lot laughing. 


I should probably explain that dogs terrify me. I got bitten when I was really young because these total bitch neighborhood girls (I'm still calling them bitches even though we were all like 4 at the time) told me I had to bring flowers to our elderly neighbors' house in order to get into their "club". They knew there was a crazy dog that lived there, and I was too young to read the warning sign that said something like "crazy ass dog lives here that WILL bite anyone dumb enough to approach". I never thought about it, but this story probably explains why I was so against pledging sororities in college. 

Not exactly relevant but this is the youngest picture of myself I could find on my computer.

So, anyway, obviously that story ended with me getting bitten, and it turns out there wasn't even a club to begin with. Apparently the story about the other members climbing to the top of the basketball hoop was a lie as well. Please note, I have never tried to convince anyone that I am popular or smart through the use of this blog. I'm not really the type to "forgive and forget" or "get over things", so dogs and I have never made up.

I am positive every interaction with a dog owner will end with something like this.

Back to this morning. FINALLY, after a long impasse of the dog slowly advancing and me slowly backing up, inwardly panicking, the owner came and got it. I told him I had a lifelong phobia of dogs and he looked at me all accusingly and was like "This is a therapy dog". He followed that up with going over to his friend (who was standing right by my car) and pointing and whispering about me in the style of seventh grade passing time.

To make things even worse, I don't leave for work until the last possible second, so I really didn't have time for all this crap. And I was scheduled to appear on our school's morning newscast (this may have been morning announcements in your day) to discuss my running in order to make the children realize the importance of a healthy lifestyle (seriously, not making this up, also not my idea), so I didn't need to be all rattled about scary dogs and inconsiderate pricks who own them. I was extra frightened because just a few days ago one of my students got bitten by a dog on a leash so badly on the way to school that she had to leave to get medical attention. 

There's your usual whiny, bitchy post for the day. You're welcome.


Yet another unrelated thought: For a second, I could swear President Obama was talking about new markets in Panem today. I need help.