Sunday, October 26, 2014

An unexpected marriage booster

I'm not exactly someone one might refer to as "socially adept".

Please help me, I don't know how to act when doing things with people.

Not because I'm a jerk or I act like Sheldon Cooper or anything, just because I struggle with awkwardness and the more new people I'm around, the more uncomfortable and awkward I get. Which is why for the past few years I've exclusively turned to the internet when I want to add to my social circle. But I did the unthinkable and didn't scare away real life people, and reaped the rewards after the new mothers group last week.

 I ONLY have him programmed in that way in case of emergency (and it has worked in the past).

We went out for the pregnancy forbidden food, sushi.

We rolled in swinging our three babies in their car seats, taking over the largest table in the restaurant as all the business people enjoying their lunch looked up in horror. The kids were really good though! I even nursed Dalton in my lap while still eating sushi (not with chopsticks, I'm too white for that). We've come a long way since the days when it would require all four hands from both his parents for him to eat successfully.

The week's excitement did not end there.

Um, how did this happen?
I was reading something last weekend that referenced October 23 (Dalton's one month birthday) as part of the upcoming week, and I was positive that there was some mistake, either I was reading it wrong (a common problem these days) or the writer was incorrect. I pulled out the calendar and everything. But it was correct, and somehow October passed in a wonderful blur and it's been a month since he arrived. My previous childless self reading this would have rolled my eyes and been like "um, it's a month, he's not off to college, pull yourself together". But those days are done and now I get why moms cry when packing up the outgrown clothes (he already doesn't fit in the outfit he wore home from the hospital!).

We celebrated a month of Dalton successfully surviving inept new parents by going to the happiest place on earth.

Baby's first Wegmans trip
I'm pretty sure he loved it, he slept in the Ergo the whole time but I know he felt happy, because it's impossible not to at Wegmans. It's important to honor his heritage as a half - Rochesterian baby.

Some other stuff happened. We went on a 2-ish mile stroller walk the past three days in a row!

My friend convinced me to get Snapchat - still not convinced it's not just for drunken nudie pic sharing.
None of these walks ended with me in immense pain or with signs that I might hemorrhage and die. I even pushed the stroller for about a third of the time.

Even better, Friday's walk was back to the pumpkin farm.

Everyone knows photo ops like this are the real reason people have babies.
Do not climb the pumpkins.... but it's ok to dress like one and have someone put you on there against your will.
Sometimes mommy brain pities you and throws you a bone. I can't remember what my husband said to me 45 seconds ago, but somehow it occurred to me that I never spent a generous gift card that my dad got me for my 27th birthday. I'm 31. And 4 months. Anyway, I used it for a much needed new bed set.


I even took the Boppy and burp cloths off for this picture to show the full effect.
It's so pretty and comfy and fluffy and I love it. I don't care if I'm not getting a solid 8 hours for a while, I'm enjoying whatever I do get even more now.

I watched a video of a C-section (a real one, not the one in Breaking Dawn). If you've been following this blog, and especially if you know me in real life, this should be shocking. Eric and I went to donate blood when we had been dating like a month. I got denied because I coughed, and I peaced out of there and let my friend stay with him because I hate needles/blood/anything medical so much.

The back story is, at the new mothers group, I brought up my frustration at being a month postpartum, and being able to do significantly less than I could at 9 months pregnant. I thought I was good at the whole "not comparing myself to others" thing. Then I realized that I was only good at not comparing myself to randoms on the internet, because we all know the world is full of crazy. I was comparing myself to friends though, because obviously they are people I respect and know are intelligent and not crazy. And they could all do more than walk across the street 4 weeks out.

The nurse who runs the group (who also taught childbirth class) told me that people who get the same surgery for other reasons are generally not working, driving, or doing anything but resting for 6-8 weeks. Women who get C-sections have the same incision and general procedure, but they are immediately caring for an infant (duh), which is essentially the opposite of resting. She also pointed out I might be extra sore since the doctor was most likely much rougher on the retractors and my organs since mine had to be carried out so fast (so hopefully if I end up having a scheduled one for the next kid recovery will be easier!). And, obviously, everyone is different so my body really doesn't give a crap what my friend or enemy or anyone else was doing after delivery, it will recover whenever it damn well feels like it.

The nurse he referenced the video we saw in class of a c section, and when I told Eric the story he was like "you saw that! You were sitting right next to me looking at the screen!". Yeah, well, I also bounced on the birthing ball and stared lovingly into your eyes while we practiced breathing through pretend contractions but that didn't turn out to be reality either. Clearly I had my eyes closed during the video.

But now it can't scare me anymore because my anxiety stems from when I perseverate on something until it becomes worse and worse in my mind (I'm looking at you, returning to work) but this already happened. The video was disgusting but also interesting. I want to watch another one, actually, because that one was for premature twins, and I want to see one similar to mine. It's actually kind of frightening how many videos of surgery are on YouTube.

A huge benefit in Eric's mind to the possibility of a planned c-section in the future is that he won't have to comfort me and can just enjoy watching the whole procedure. Him seeing my organs has really improved our marriage and brought us closer, which is an advantage I hear just isn't there for vaginal deliveries.

Are you fascinated or horrified by modern medicine? (Horrified in an "ew gross" way, not like let's bring it back to just biting a bullet while we saw your leg off like that scene in Gone with the Wind that I fast forward through every single time.)




  1. I'm impressed by your use of the word "perseverate!" The baby is cute, too! lol

    1. I really feel it's an underrated word. Thanks!!

  2. I've attempted to leave comments on probably 6 of your posts from my phone but it never works and I'm finally on a computer. Can't believe he is 1 month already! And I hope the First Wegmans Visit was everything he dreamed it would be. It's been 10 months since I was last at a's been rough, but I'm getting by. I say modern medicine is fascinating and terrifying. I watched a video of lasek eye surgery in a college bio class and while it was very educational, I can say that I will now never elect to have that procedure for myself.

  3. I had a caginal delivery, but there is no way I'm watching videos on that. You crack me up. Also, if mike saw my internal organs, he'd pass out and probably be admitted to the hospital for head injuries.

  4. My husband was fascinated by my csection too! He'd briefly DRAG his gaze away from the carnage to comfort me, and then his eyes would snap right back to it. He's actually very smug and judgmental now about husbands who aren't fascinated by their wives' csection carnage.

  5. I always wonder how Will would take the whole birth thing...that's a lot of graphic-ness being throw at him! Also, that PUMPKIN OUTFIT?! Super adorable!

  6. I still grapple with the quickness with which the months pass, and my kids are 6 and 3! I'm not sure where October went, are you sure that baby is already one month old? Just thinking about watching a video of surgery freaks me out, no way am I hitting up YouTube for that!

  7. I think my husband would have preferred to see my internal organs instead of what he actually witnessed. Lol.
    I am not looking forward to being away from Jude when I return to work but I guess I'm ready to see what our new normal is going to look like.


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