It's time to clear something up. Two things really, but they are kind of related. Here are two rumors my blog has started (based on both Facebook and real life comments that I've received).
1. I have my act together as a new mom.
2. I'm against complaining.
|When this is your view, what's there to complain about?|
I promise you, neither of those is remotely true. But I absolutely see how I'm giving off that mistaken impression (although I would guess yesterday's post did some good work to disprove statement #1).
Let's take a deeper look. We'll start with #1.
I don't have my act together. Trust me. I do have something that makes me luckier than literally every other new mother I have ever met. My husband has six weeks of paternity leave and has been home with me full time. I could go on and on for days about how wonderful this is and how grateful I am and how it's a crime that every father doesn't get more leave. I'll just say that obviously I'm able to stay significantly more sane with only 50% of the parenting duties, not to mention having another adult around who is not filled with crazy postpartum hormones to talk me down if need be.
|Or I could just stare at baby feet in socks that look like sneakers.|
Second, this is a blog. My internet persona is different than my real life one. I decided in that time I can barely remember, before I had Dalton, that I was going to focus on the positive if I wrote any mommy posts (and then it turned out all my posts are currently mommy posts.) There are more than enough posts, articles, tweets, etc. on the internet to convince someone that parenthood is the worst mistake a person can make, or at least it feels that way when you're pregnant and terrified. My blog didn't need to be one more.
|It will be a happy place of bright colors and cute babies!|
On to #2.
I'm not anti complaining. I see that Facebook thing that's like "Go 24 hours without complaining and your life will turn around and be full of free money and calorie free chocolate!". I doubt I could last even an hour. Complaining is actually a good thing (or maybe we should call it venting), in my humble opinion, because it lets you get your frustrations out in a healthy way that doesn't result in you getting fired or divorced or some other disastrous consequence. Having other mothers to commiserate with is essential.
I just think complaining about your family (and that includes your baby, even though he or she is too young to understand) falls into the vast, underrated category of "things to tell your real life confidants and not your random Instagram followers". I can text my mom or sister or BFF and let out my frustrations about the baby being up half the night, and they are well aware that doesn't in any way affect the intense, unconditional love I have for him. Tweet the same thing out to a few hundred followers, however, and they might not necessarily be so sure. Plus, who knows what will happen to this series of tubes we call "the internet", but I hate the idea of Dalton eventually finding a giant collection of my complaints that make it seem like I hated caring for him (which couldn't be further from the truth). I'm not claiming to know much about young children, but in a decade of teaching, I have learned that kids figure out technology way before you might expect.
|He'll be proficient with an iPhone 6 in a week or so.|
I don't want it to sound like I've been posting disingenuous happy posts. I've 100% meant everything I've said. The takeaway here is that when I'm sitting down deciding "what do I want to write about today?", I'm aiming to mostly go for the part about how I just can't stop kissing those plump chubby cheeks rather than the low number of hours of sleep we got last night. That's boring anyway. I think at this point even the most childless bachelor knows that babies make you tired.