Sunday, January 11, 2015

The story on daycare and being a working mom - week 1

Well, our Christmas tree is still up. Dalton's dresser still has newborn clothes in it, and those chunky thighs sure don't fit into teeny onesies anymore.

After last night, that jersey he's been wearing since 5 days old is officially retired. Sad face.

But in my defense, Netflix now has Friends. And I managed to take the ornaments off the tree. Progress.

I've made it through a week of being a working mom. Although it's completely cheating to say that, because we had a snow day Tuesday, and 2 hour delays Wednesday and Thursday. (2 hour delays are when school opens late due to weather. I had never heard of this until I moved down south. In the North, where I'm from, school opens no matter what. I think I had like one snow day experience ever as a student, during the ice storm when the entire town lost power.)

Actually, one day was just a cold delay.
He stayed warm.
This week was definitely better than I anticipated, but to be fair, that's not saying much, because I anticipated a fate worse than death. I would give anything to be a stay at home mom. Maybe not forever, but at least during this time when he's tiny. I have awful mom guilt about being with him all day, every day, since he was an embryo, and then suddenly throwing him to the wolves and leaving him with someone he barely knows. I know it would just be harder, not easier, if he was older (that's what I hear) but it's hard on me not being able to explain anything to him or assure him I'll be back. I can get really out of control jealous of SAHMs. I'm not a fan of paying someone else a lot of money for the privilege of hanging out with my kid all day. I want that privilege.

He just wants to eat his hands.

That's not happening in my life though, so I'm trying to focus on all the positives. Socialization and another loving adult who cares about him in his life and having something else to direct my brain power to that I'm actually good at instead of obsessing over naps and feedings and baby issues and fearing going back to work. After dreading it for so long, it's a relief that I can stop fretting over it 24/7. And I've never been so happy to greet a weekend.

I promise I will now stop using this blog to complain about how I'm too poor to be a stay at home mom. Maybe that should be my New Year's Resolution.

But before I move on, let's talk about some related topics.

Like when do animals on the butt stop being cute? I hope I have awhile.

Sleep: I agonize over a lot of mommy problems (despite what I just said above) like napping and bedtime but I'll save that for mom friends.
He just spontaneously fell asleep on me today. It's been a minute since that happened. Love it.
As far as my own sleep goes, my goal is to go to bed right after Dalton. We have no exact time yet but it's usually like 8-9pm, so that lets me get a decent amount of sleep in between night wakeups. It's a challenge because that means I need to make and eat dinner, make my lunch for the next day, wash/prepare bottles, get ready for bed and do anything else that needs to be done around the house while Dalton takes an evening nap, so I can spend the little time we have together while he is awake actually together. I would be pretty happy to never wash another bottle, which is an issue since it's only been a week.

Workouts: I got up work out before work 4/5 days. Granted, 3 of those days I was able to go back to bed due to weather closings/delays, but I still demand credit because actually got out of bed and that's the toughest part.

Pumping: I spend my 25 minute lunch housing a sandwich while pumping in a freezing closet (in addition to two other pumping sessions during the work day). That's seriously inferior to actually being with my baby and nursing him. But the more I get into a routine, the better it goes. I'm still taking it a day at a time, and grateful I'm able to do it at all.  It is vastly improved by listening to the Serial Podcast.
So addicted.

Claim to fame for fellow fans: The students attend a high school in the school district that Eric and I work for, and Eric knows Adnan's track coach. I used to tutor at the Woodlawn library. It's cool being able to actually picture a lot of the places they describe! I'm on episode 10 though, and I don't know how I'll be able to go on when I'm finished.

In closing, if my plan to win the lottery doesn't pan out, and Obama doesn't use this year to get maternity leave up to par, I will continue to work on convincing Eric that we need to move to Canada for kid #2. Canada has schools, so we could theoretically get jobs, eh? Until then, working and sending my kid to daycare isn't terrible, although I miss him like crazy. Washing bottles and waking up to an alarm clock is terrible.

What do you look forward to most at the end of the day? It used to be getting into my pajamas and putting my feet up and getting either warm or cold finally, depending on the season. Now it's obviously baby snuggles.
Who else is a Serial fan? 



  1. We do have schools. But at least in Ontario we no longer have snow days. So at least you have that going for you?

  2. Having leif be so excited to see me after work is definitely my favorite. #2 is sweatpants.

  3. Pajamas and cat snuggles will always be my favorite. My usual routine is to come home, hug the cat, put on pajama pants, and then say hi to my boyfriend #priorities

  4. Ha! Can you imagine the wailing and chest thumping if Obama or any American president tried to force mandated maternity leave extensions onto corporations? When FMLA was first becoming the law, I remember the owners of the company I worked for claiming they'd surely go bankrupt over it.
    Try to look at daycare as expanding his world view. He'll have more voices to hear and more visual stimulation in a different place than he would if you were his sole company all day. You'll both make it! It's gonna be okay.

  5. Sounds like you are doing really great! I downloaded that photo of Dalton in his blue snowsuit. Wish I had one of those. (The snowsuit, not the baby, lol.) Dalton has the most amazing eyes ever...

  6. I wish you could stay home too! I know it's so much harder to leave them when they are so little. I don't know who told you it's harder when they are older. I drop my kids like hot potatoes now, but when they were Dalton's age I didn't do it that way. It was an ordeal!

    Have you considered using the Playtex drop-ins for the bottle? The nipple is similar to the Tommee Tipee and then you only have to wash the nipple. At least for the weekdays to make things easier!

  7. When Serial ended I wasn't sure what I would do, either. I spent about a week reading Reddit (which I've never visited before) and a bunch of other websites... then I got over it :) Totally jealous that you basically live in the story, though!

  8. I just started Serial the other day-- I was waiting til the whole series was over so I could listen to it on my long runs :)

  9. DYING at the pic of Dalton in the snowsuit. I think I need to move to a colder climate so I can dress my future children in snowsuits.

    Also, when you run out of Serial, SK did a serial-like episode of This American Life that can tide you over a little longer. It's called Dr. Gilmer and Mr. Hyde, I think.

  10. I just finally rid Jude's dresser of newborn and a lot of 0-3 month clothes and packed them away. All his current clothes were just sitting in the laundry basket up until a week ago! He still fits into some of his 0-3 clothes though at 5 months!
    I need to listen to this Serial podcast I hear so much about. I just need to figure out how to do so because I'm not always tech savvy.
    I definitely look forward to baby snuggles and smiles at the end of the day! He's just so stinkin' cute and I miss him so much while I'm at work.

  11. This angst is exactly how my mom became a SAHM! She dropped me at daycare one morning, freaked out, quit her job, picked me up...and that was that. My poor dad...he was still in college and they definitely did not have $$ either! (((HUGS))) I hope this gets easier soon!

    I liked Serial, but I'm not obsessed with it. I feel like there's no good answer so...uh, now what?

  12. I have really enjoyed reading about your experience as a working mom. SO many blogs I read are of women who work from home or have family watch their child so it's like they just don't get it. We're not pregnant but daycare is something that already gives me anxiety!


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