Monday, July 30, 2012

The return of the pirates

The general consensus in my comments from Saturday's post was "enough about letting a bunch of strangers from the internet drive you into the mountains, and let's hear about this pirate ship". I couldn't agree more.
It's important to make your finger into a hook in every picture while being a pirate.
Last year, we celebrated my friend John's 29th birthday by taking a Pirate Cruise around the Baltimore Harbor. It's essentially a booze cruise (BYOG - Bring Your Own Grog) run by pirates. Sounds amazing, right? It ended up being such an epic night that John realized he'd screwed himself by having no where to go from there when he hit the big 3-0. So he devised the ultimate solution: repeat his 29th birthday. 

He took this very seriously. Everyone was required to wear the exact same outfit, meet at the same bar, drink the same drinks, and take the same pictures. He'd extensively studied the photos from last year so he could help direct people with decisions like which pirate garb to wear, or where to put their pirate tattoos. 
Me and the birthday boy, manning the cannons
He ran over when I was about to limbo and told me he was ending our friendship if I didn't win, so I was basically in a Hunger Games limbo situation.
It's a proven fact that sticking your tongue out during limbo allows you to get a minimum of 2 inches lower.
 If you ever come to Baltimore, I'll take you on this wonderful cruise. 

Since bike commuting worked out well for me last week, I decided to try it to go to my second job, which is about 12 miles away. I rode my bike down Saturday, and it went pretty well. The downside was that the running store is downtown, which meant fighting my way through city traffic. Please note that on my bike, I obey all rules of the road - stopping at traffic lights, signaling, etc. Sometimes, when there was no shoulder, I'd have to ride in one of the three of four lanes. A lot of drivers felt that having to slow down for 5-10 seconds before they could get into the other lane in order to spare my life was a major imposition, and decided to scare the crap out of my by driving right up next to me and blasting their own before flying by. I wanted to yell "I'm just trying to reduce my carbon footprint!" at them, because that would really show them. However, I have a strict policy about not yelling things at random Baltimore City drivers. In my mind, I pictured them as really fat, and they were just mad because I was causing their trip for their next Big Mac to take longer. Revenge is sweet.

We stayed downtown at the birthday boy's house after the Pirate Cruise, and I coached my 5K group for the first time Sunday morning. It's only been one session, but I think it's safe to say I love coaching. Everyone was so nervous, but they all did great and were laughing and talking the whole time. My friend Kristin is in the group and wrote about our workout in her blog

Sunday was a rest day, meaning I didn't have any scheduled workouts planned, but I did walk 25 minutes with my 5K group, ran a mile from my friend's house to work (I think everyone really loves how I always show up sweaty), and then biked home. Biking there seemed so easy, but biking home was more of a challenge. 

I did take part of the Baltimore Marathon route, and even had a woman cheer for me. 

This morning, Lily and I ran a pathetic 10K, because it was humid and my ankles and calves are pretty sore from navigating the rocks on the Appalachian Trail. But, I got it done. They can't all be winners. 

What would your pirate name be? Mine was Awesome Ass Alyssa. Not even making this up, that's what the pirate in charge of naming people gave me.


  1. That is the best pirate name ever. I'm going to brainstorm on mine for a while.

    I want to hear more about your 5k training! You should post what the actual training is!

  2. I wish we had pirate cruises in Columbus!

  3. The more I hear about the Pirate Cruise, the more I know I need to go on one. Like, its become life goal status.

    I have to admit, sometimes I am one of those drivers that gets PO'ed at bikers taking up lanes, but I definitely enjoy the ones who actually follow the rules of the road more. I am very impressed that you brave the Baltimore traffic on a bike!

  4. Gah, I hate people in cars when I'm not. Well actually I hate people in cars period, but especially when I'm on my bike or running. I really don't understand the hate, especially if the person biking/running/walking/etc.. is being considerate and following the rules of the road. I used to get mad and yell, but after I had someone stop to when I had my year old son with me, I stopped all words/gestures.

    I don't have a pirate name, but when I was in middle school someone said that you stripper name is your middle name followed by your street name, so I was Elizabeth Lancaster. My friends shortened it to Liz Lancaster to make it a bit more... slutty I guess?

  5. Sounds like you were able to hold your own at the pirate cruise even after your long day...guess it was a great way to unwind. :)

  6. My stripper name is Shelia Sundance, but I don't have a pirate name. I didn't even know my life had this void.

    Your limbo pic is pretty priceless. That should go on the banner for your blog.

  7. I feel so sad that I have a) never been on a pirate cruise, and b) don't have a pirate name. My stripper name is Suki Bamboo, which sounds like a seriously slutty Asian hooker. So, entirely appropriate I guess.

  8. I wish you lived here. We could have pirate night every weekend.

  9. I'm coming to Baltimore just for the pirate cruise.

  10. Oh my gosh. This is just as awesome as you said it would be. We have to come to Baltimore for this. I hope you want to go again.

  11. I swear you have awesome friends. A pirate cruise? Sign me up! I can't wait to hear more about how your 5K coaching goes!

  12. My pirate name is Krazy Kristin I've decided and as my coach you are required to take me on a pirate cruise when I complete my 5K!!!

  13. Allan would absolutely love this! Baltimore has just moved up on our travel list! I'll have to think about our pirate names in the meantime.


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