Thursday, August 9, 2012

Aunthood

Warning - cheesy post ahead. The type that would make me roll my eyes and consider unsubscribing from this blog just a few short months ago.

Everyone already knows I have no soul because I hate dogs, so here's another unpopular confession. 

Prior to this past Sunday, I never had even the slightest desire to hold a baby. 

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I found it distasteful. Once I picked them up, I've enjoyed holding babies. It's just that I've never yearned to do so. To be brutally honest, any time I've helped welcome a new baby into the world, I wouldn't have been upset if all I could do was look. 

Anytime a friend has had a baby, I've been thrilled for them. But it's always been in the "I'm so happy that you've had a life change that makes you happy!" sort of way. Kind of like when a friend  gets a new job that she really wanted. I'm so happy for them. I want to celebrate with them, and hear all about it. Go to their new office and hold their new stapler? Eh, I mean, it's not really doing anything for me, but sure, if that's what they want, I'm certainly happy to hold that stapler.

I'm kind of coming off like an asshole here, comparing babies to staplers. Look, it's far from a perfect analogy, but this sort of thing is hard to describe. And for what it's worth, I get really excited when my friends post baby pictures on Facebook and make Eric come over and look at them all, which he really enjoys and looks forward to.

Given all that, I wasn't really sure what would happen when I met my nephew. I had an idea that it might be vastly different, given how I felt when my sister first told me she was pregnant. 

I was in no way prepared for what it would be like meeting Harrison.


Holding him for the first time was incredible. I couldn't get enough of him, and wanted to hold him and stare at him and touch him forever.

Even when someone else holds him, I'm still taking pictures.
Every night, after we got home from the hospital or my sister's apartment, I looked at the pictures I'd taken over and over and couldn't wait to go back and see him again the next day.


On Tuesday, the last day of my visit, his grandparents held him first and I was so antsy for my turn I couldn't even take it. 

I've been to parties or gatherings where people bring new babies, and seen this sort of thing happen, except it never happened to me. In these situations, as everyone hurried each other and jostled for their turn, I would be really mystified about what all the excitement was for. In fact, I usually just gave up my turn, since it seemed so important to everyone else, and I never really knew what the hell was going on.

With Harrison, there was no polite "oh, no, you can have a little more time". Every time someone offered him up to someone else in the room, they were all over it like white on rice.

Can you even believe how small these hands are?

My mom teaching us her patented burping method

I got home on Wednesday right as Eric was arriving home from work. After he grabbed some bags for me and met me in the apartment, he apparently got really scared and thought there had either been some sort of tragedy or I'd been in a horrible accident, because I was hysterically crying. He couldn't have been more shocked (since no one knew about my apathy towards babies better than him) when I finally managed to choke out the words "I.....miss.....the.....baby". 

If this is how I feel about a nephew, I'm a little scared about what will happen one day when we have our own. 

So now I'm in a deep depression over being 400 miles away from him, but let's focus on the positives of last night - Mom and Baby are healthy and doing great, I had a coupon for frozen yogurt at the place right next door to my running store job, and there was a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. 

I know how to deal with sadness in a healthy way.
There has also been a little running going on. Monday, I did a ten mile run in 64 degree, cloudy weather, and it was glorious. Tuesday, I ran 2 miles to a local high school track, and did 4 mile repeats. I was aiming for 8:00, and they ended up being 7:50, 7:57, 7:42, and 7:30. Not bad considering my last speed workout was in May, and I've never done mile repeats that I can remember. Wednesday, after a fun 7 hours in a car with broken air conditioning, I did an easy 5 miles, back in Baltimore's 90 degree, humid weather. Not the most fun, but I needed the endorphins so I didn't sob all over anyone's new running shoes at work.

My plans this weekend don't include anything except running, and selling running shoes.  My number one goal is to experience zero emotions, because I'm tapped out on those.

Too sappy, didn't read, here's the cliff's notes version: I've cried more than the baby because I miss him so much, I'm a fatty, I ran some mile repeats.

14 comments:

  1. That's how I was when my best friend had her kid, and I'm still like that even though she's 10 months old! Babies are awesome. Of course, I don't have my own, so maybe that's why I feel that way :)

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    1. I could have sworn you didn't want kids.

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  2. NO one can describe the feeling of holding your own child for the first time as well as leaving your own child to go to work for the first time. I hope to be there to hold your hand when you do and be prepared, I will probably be like you are with Harrison when you have a baby. I can't get enough of them :) P.s Check your email

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  3. My favorite part of this post was the cliff notes at the end.

    Your mom is right, that is the best way to burp, at least until they get too fat and heavy to hold in that position.

    I think it's awesome that you feel so attached to your nephew already. I don't have any and I've always wondered how that would be. Hopefully I'll be like you and not like my usual cold bitch self.

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  4. I am probably getting a promotion this year, I expect that you will visit my office and hold my stapler.

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  5. I'm pretty much the same as you were with kids, with the exception of actually wanting any of my own. Then again, I do really want nieces and nephews because then I could be the awesome aunt and come home and lounge on the couch with no one to take care of but my dog.

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  6. This is so sweet and awesome! I haven't had this intense feeling about any baby, but I do like snuggling babies in general. :) - Lindsay

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  7. This was sweet! There is something about that blood connection sometimes. I can't wait to be an aunt even though I already have my own child. I'll get to have the fun and do none of the hard work.

    I've never really liked messing around with other people's babies either. That whole bring your newborn to work day thing - never understood it. I only did it because my co-workers made me do it.

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  8. This post was sweet and funny. Your stapler paragraph cracked me up...that's totally how I feel about babies! Except I don't know that I want my own.

    Harrison's face in that burping picture is priceless.

    Btw, they just opened a fro yo place across the street from me...in the same shopping center as the Trader Joe's and the running store. Never.moving.

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  9. OMGSOCUTE. I. am. dying. of. cute.

    I never got the whole babies thing - when I was working as a case manager, one of my clients asked me to hold her newborn, and I freaked out because I thought it wasn't breathing. Turns out it was asleep. So I either have unknown baby-whispering skills or newborns sleep on anyone.

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  10. i LOVE being an aunt!!!!! i have close to 20 nieces and nephews (matt and i combined). when they get older, it's even better.

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  11. Harrison's burp face is my favorite face of his so far. Cracks me up. <3 and why not say it again....move to Rochester. ;)

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  12. It's easy to see how Harrison has stolen your heart. Friend's babies are great but there's something special about the baby belonging to a sibling. I can only imagine the basket case I'm going to be when my sister has her baby next year.

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  13. I tell everyone that my niece is my favorite and even if my siblings have more kids, it doesn't matter because she will still be my favorite! Sometimes I do just call her "favorite". Nieces and nephews seem to be addicting!

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Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.