Warning - cheesy post ahead. The type that would make me roll my eyes and consider unsubscribing from this blog just a few short months ago.
Everyone already knows I have no soul because I hate dogs, so here's another unpopular confession.
Prior to this past Sunday, I never had even the slightest desire to hold a baby.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I found it distasteful. Once I picked them up, I've enjoyed holding babies. It's just that I've never yearned to do so. To be brutally honest, any time I've helped welcome a new baby into the world, I wouldn't have been upset if all I could do was look.
Anytime a friend has had a baby, I've been thrilled for them. But it's always been in the "I'm so happy that you've had a life change that makes you happy!" sort of way. Kind of like when a friend gets a new job that she really wanted. I'm so happy for them. I want to celebrate with them, and hear all about it. Go to their new office and hold their new stapler? Eh, I mean, it's not really doing anything for me, but sure, if that's what they want, I'm certainly happy to hold that stapler.
I'm kind of coming off like an asshole here, comparing babies to staplers. Look, it's far from a perfect analogy, but this sort of thing is hard to describe. And for what it's worth, I get really excited when my friends post baby pictures on Facebook and make Eric come over and look at them all, which he really enjoys and looks forward to.
Given all that, I wasn't really sure what would happen when I met my nephew. I had an idea that it might be vastly different, given how I felt when my sister first told me she was pregnant.
I was in no way prepared for what it would be like meeting Harrison.
Holding him for the first time was incredible. I couldn't get enough of him, and wanted to hold him and stare at him and touch him forever.
|Even when someone else holds him, I'm still taking pictures.|
On Tuesday, the last day of my visit, his grandparents held him first and I was so antsy for my turn I couldn't even take it.
I've been to parties or gatherings where people bring new babies, and seen this sort of thing happen, except it never happened to me. In these situations, as everyone hurried each other and jostled for their turn, I would be really mystified about what all the excitement was for. In fact, I usually just gave up my turn, since it seemed so important to everyone else, and I never really knew what the hell was going on.
With Harrison, there was no polite "oh, no, you can have a little more time". Every time someone offered him up to someone else in the room, they were all over it like white on rice.
|Can you even believe how small these hands are?|
|My mom teaching us her patented burping method|
I got home on Wednesday right as Eric was arriving home from work. After he grabbed some bags for me and met me in the apartment, he apparently got really scared and thought there had either been some sort of tragedy or I'd been in a horrible accident, because I was hysterically crying. He couldn't have been more shocked (since no one knew about my apathy towards babies better than him) when I finally managed to choke out the words "I.....miss.....the.....baby".
If this is how I feel about a nephew, I'm a little scared about what will happen one day when we have our own.
So now I'm in a deep depression over being 400 miles away from him, but let's focus on the positives of last night - Mom and Baby are healthy and doing great, I had a coupon for frozen yogurt at the place right next door to my running store job, and there was a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge.
|I know how to deal with sadness in a healthy way.|
There has also been a little running going on. Monday, I did a ten mile run in 64 degree, cloudy weather, and it was glorious. Tuesday, I ran 2 miles to a local high school track, and did 4 mile repeats. I was aiming for 8:00, and they ended up being 7:50, 7:57, 7:42, and 7:30. Not bad considering my last speed workout was in May, and I've never done mile repeats that I can remember. Wednesday, after a fun 7 hours in a car with broken air conditioning, I did an easy 5 miles, back in Baltimore's 90 degree, humid weather. Not the most fun, but I needed the endorphins so I didn't sob all over anyone's new running shoes at work.
My plans this weekend don't include anything except running, and selling running shoes. My number one goal is to experience zero emotions, because I'm tapped out on those.
Too sappy, didn't read, here's the cliff's notes version: I've cried more than the baby because I miss him so much, I'm a fatty, I ran some mile repeats.