Sunday, August 12, 2012

Fatty McFatpants

Based on the comments, I think I need to clarify my meaning in my post from Friday on cross training. I'm not against cross training - in fact, I'm all for it. I could never run 6 days a week, 52 weeks a year - I get massively burnt out on much less. I love bike riding, classes like Body Attack, zumba, yoga, doing Jillian Michaels DVDs in my living room, etc. All those types of exercise and any other kind you can think of are obviously going to be good for you, and there's your science lesson of the week, you are welcome.

 I was trying to get across that if you are training for an event in one thing, you should really do mainly that thing. I'm not going to run 50 miles a week in order to train for a Strongman or skeet shooting competition, so I don't really get the people who do crossfit four times a week to train for a marathon. I thought spending 3 hours and 15 minutes on a triathlon last weekend would kind of count as JFK training, because, you know, I was racing, my heart rate was up, my muscles were burning, but turns out biking and swimming don't really do squat to prep you for running long distances. I really just had to get that out there in case my hero Jillian ever finds this blog, it's important I set the record straight. 

In other news, it seems like I was just giddily skipping off to the bar midday to celebrate summer's arrival, and now it has come to an end. 

This is my life. Foods that require microwaving are not an option.

Perhaps it's a good thing that I am returning to the ranks of productive members of society, so my lazy ass will be forced to get out of bed prior to 8:30 am, and I run before the temperature reaches "pure hell". I slept in again on Saturday, and paid for it dearly for 10 miserable miles.

Here's another random thing: I experienced the ultimate Fatty McFatpants moment this weekend. 

Funny Sports Ecard: Sorry you make a bigger splash in a pool than all the Olympic divers combined.

I was relaxing on the couch Friday night, covered in compression gear, which we all know is the only acceptable condition after an 18 miler (other than lounging at the pool, which my day also included). I was innocently watching season 3 of The Office, simultaneously laughing out loud and crying about how the new seasons are so sub par without Michael Scott. 

With my reruns, I enjoyed a frozen dark chocolate bar, because we all know chocolate is better out of the freezer (mainly because you don't risk losing any due to melting). Suddenly, I spit out a piece of my tooth. Yes, I was so deeply into eating my chocolate, that I broke my tooth on it. No picture #proof, because that's just nasty. 

I was so horrified, I haven't had any chocolate since then. Considering the title of my blog, 48 hours without chocolate is significant. 

Ever had an embarrassing Fatty McFatpants moment? It would really make me feel better to read some.


  1. Haha I had something like that happen. I was at work and chewing gum. All of sudden my gum was totally crunchy. Turns out one of my molars cracked and pieces fell off. I know exactly why it happened too. The damn Bath and body work wall flowers are impossible to open and I used to always open them with my back teeth by biting on them. Never again! I have fatty moments daily. Even Mike once said to my sisters "She eats like that every day!" when I was downing a shit ton of food at a family gathering.

  2. I have to let you know that swimming can really help you to become a better runner because it's so endurance based. When I used to swim, I could run for what seemed like forever with ease (and by forever I mean whatever the high school track team decided to do for their long run that day). But the swimming definitely should help with your marathons!

  3. I've broken a tooth before, but in a total dumbass way: you know how you can be talking to someone while eating and then you accidentally bite on an empty fork? No? Just me? Well that's how I chipped my front tooth.

    Good news is that it wasn't too expensive to fix and now you can't even tell.

    Here's my Fatty McFatpants moment: I spent a good 5 minutes searching for a lost M&M when I was sitting on the couch and it was stuck between my boobs and belly and I couldn't see it. It fell out when I stood up. I still ate it, even though the dog almost got there first.

  4. Fatty McFatpants moment this weekend: Mike and I were moving the furniture to put in a new rug, so we took all of the pillows off of the couch. In the cracks we found multiple chocolate chips and I was ever so slightly upset that Mike made me throw them away.

  5. Oh my gosh, does your tooth hurt? I can't believe a frozen chocolate bar could break it!

    Fatty McFatPants moment: Patrick and I standing outside Chipotle at 10:55am on Saturday, waiting for it to open at 11am. I was starving!! I'm sure I looked like a sad puppy waiting outside the door.

  6. Sorry you broke your tooth. I've chipped one of mine a time or two on nothing really.

    Fatty McFatPants moment: Fro yo for dinner three/four nights in a row on the weekend 32 Degrees opened here.

  7. I once ate an entire large pizza in college. There may have been a bit more to the story than that, but it was back when I was a size 5 and Fatty McFatpants moments were still socially acceptable.

  8. FMFP moment happening right this very second : Eating a ridiculously large ice cream sundae while reading running blogs and being all jealous of how long and fast everyone's been running...

  9. I just ate 2 pieces of cake for breakfast. Fatfluential and proud.

  10. i eat half a pizza every monday night. my husband sometimes eats the other half. but he shows restraint most of the time. i do not.

  11. I chipped a tooth once in school, using my front teeth to take a button off the little button card they come on. The dentist filed it a little bit, but it'll be chipped forever. It turns out my mom was right. I shouldn't use my teeth for anything other than eating.

    Fatty moment: I made corn muffins last night (the package makes six muffins) and ate them all.


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.