Bring on the snark

Alternate title: "Everything I eat looks like sh!t, and you will want to mock me for it".

Second alternate title: WIAWT, Whole30 edition

In the blog world, WIAW stands for What I Ate Wednesday. Usually, just seeing someone's meals for the day is just unbelievably boring, especially since most bloggers who do it seem to be aiming to eat under 900 calories each day just to make the rest of us fatties feel extra fat. 

But I like it when normal people occasionally post what they eat. It really appeals to my inner creepy stalker. Kari, Kara, Emily and I did a WIAW over the summer, and I wanted to do another one while I was on Whole30. I work Wednesday nights, so it became What I Ate Tuesday.

Now, I've already warned them, I expect some good, creative mocking in the comments. If all you can come up with is something like "that looks like someone already ate that meal and vomited it up", please, don't even bother. You're better than that.

Since I'm horrible at food photography, I'm including some pics from the websites to show what things are actually supposed to look like.

5:15 am:  No food, but I did 7 miles of speedwork, just as an FYI.

7:20 am: Leave for work. I have to bring a massive amount of food with me to survive the day, and I also double fist travel mugs of coffee.

Breakfast/lunch/snack

The one thing I'm not really following in Whole30 is "mindful eating". They recommend you eat away from your desk, away from distractions, and really focus on your meal. Sounds nice, doesn't it? I don't know anyone with a job who has this as an option. 

7:45 am: Breakfast while reviewing my reading lesson plan, reading the Wizard of Oz to prepare for my read aloud, and checking my email.

Two prosciutto wrapped mini fritatta muffins, a banana with cashew butter, and copious amounts of coffee. 

Delicious, I swear. Actually that could be another alternate title.

 What they are supposed to look like:

source

12:25pm: Lunch.



Cauliflower "rice" (left) flavored with fresh lime juice and basil, and a salmon cake (right) with spicy mustard. The salmon cakes were a hot mess because they were supposed to use eggs to  bind the salmon/onions/spices together, but I ran out because I now eat like 7 eggs a day. The salmon cakes were more like random chunks of cooked salmon in a tupperwear, but they still tasted good.

12:38 pm: I was still kind of hungry and was going to have a hard boiled egg, but then I realized I had to leave to pick up my class in 4 minutes, so I just sipped this tea on my way down the hall. So not an intuitive eater.

4:30 pm: Grad class. I snacked on carrots, sugar snap peas dipped in tahini mixed with lemon juice and salt. Right before I left work I realized I barely had any tahini left, so I tried to use more spicy mustard, but it didn't really work. 

I know this snack can't be that weird, because right after I pulled it out my friend started whispering my name (this class is seriously old school) to point out she'd brought the exact same snack! (Well, carrots, snap peas and dip anyway.)

7:40pm: dinner - finally a meal I could eat while relaxing in my pjs, as nature intended!



Betty crocker thai style coconut chicken (leftover from last night, no cooking for the win!) and more cauliflower rice. I added salted mixed nuts and also ate some extra nuts while it was heating up because I was starving beyond belief.

From the website (also with real rice)

8:00 I was still hungry after I inhaled my meal. I had a little more chicken and then a snack that looks so unappetizing, not even an instagram filter could help it. Half an avocado and a hard boiled egg.

#nofilter

8:15pm: I finished up the night with some chocolate mint tea, a leopard print snuggie, and Sunday's episode of Game of Thrones (which I actually watched during dinner, HUGE mistake). 

So there you have it, a day in the life of eating on Whole30. Bring it on, I can take it.