Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Bring on the snark

Alternate title: "Everything I eat looks like sh!t, and you will want to mock me for it".

Second alternate title: WIAWT, Whole30 edition

In the blog world, WIAW stands for What I Ate Wednesday. Usually, just seeing someone's meals for the day is just unbelievably boring, especially since most bloggers who do it seem to be aiming to eat under 900 calories each day just to make the rest of us fatties feel extra fat. 

But I like it when normal people occasionally post what they eat. It really appeals to my inner creepy stalker. Kari, Kara, Emily and I did a WIAW over the summer, and I wanted to do another one while I was on Whole30. I work Wednesday nights, so it became What I Ate Tuesday.

Now, I've already warned them, I expect some good, creative mocking in the comments. If all you can come up with is something like "that looks like someone already ate that meal and vomited it up", please, don't even bother. You're better than that.

Since I'm horrible at food photography, I'm including some pics from the websites to show what things are actually supposed to look like.

5:15 am:  No food, but I did 7 miles of speedwork, just as an FYI.

7:20 am: Leave for work. I have to bring a massive amount of food with me to survive the day, and I also double fist travel mugs of coffee.


The one thing I'm not really following in Whole30 is "mindful eating". They recommend you eat away from your desk, away from distractions, and really focus on your meal. Sounds nice, doesn't it? I don't know anyone with a job who has this as an option. 

7:45 am: Breakfast while reviewing my reading lesson plan, reading the Wizard of Oz to prepare for my read aloud, and checking my email.

Two prosciutto wrapped mini fritatta muffins, a banana with cashew butter, and copious amounts of coffee. 

Delicious, I swear. Actually that could be another alternate title.
 What they are supposed to look like:
12:25pm: Lunch.

Cauliflower "rice" (left) flavored with fresh lime juice and basil, and a salmon cake (right) with spicy mustard. The salmon cakes were a hot mess because they were supposed to use eggs to  bind the salmon/onions/spices together, but I ran out because I now eat like 7 eggs a day. The salmon cakes were more like random chunks of cooked salmon in a tupperwear, but they still tasted good.

12:38 pm: I was still kind of hungry and was going to have a hard boiled egg, but then I realized I had to leave to pick up my class in 4 minutes, so I just sipped this tea on my way down the hall. So not an intuitive eater.

4:30 pm: Grad class. I snacked on carrots, sugar snap peas dipped in tahini mixed with lemon juice and salt. Right before I left work I realized I barely had any tahini left, so I tried to use more spicy mustard, but it didn't really work. 

I know this snack can't be that weird, because right after I pulled it out my friend started whispering my name (this class is seriously old school) to point out she'd brought the exact same snack! (Well, carrots, snap peas and dip anyway.)

7:40pm: dinner - finally a meal I could eat while relaxing in my pjs, as nature intended!

Betty crocker thai style coconut chicken (leftover from last night, no cooking for the win!) and more cauliflower rice. I added salted mixed nuts and also ate some extra nuts while it was heating up because I was starving beyond belief.

Thai-Style Coconut Chicken
From the website (also with real rice)
8:00 I was still hungry after I inhaled my meal. I had a little more chicken and then a snack that looks so unappetizing, not even an instagram filter could help it. Half an avocado and a hard boiled egg.

8:15pm: I finished up the night with some chocolate mint tea, a leopard print snuggie, and Sunday's episode of Game of Thrones (which I actually watched during dinner, HUGE mistake). 

So there you have it, a day in the life of eating on Whole30. Bring it on, I can take it.


  1. Actually....you may have inspired me to make Cauliflower rice.....

    At least you didn't inspire me to buy something again.

  2. I feel like you've suffered enough and don't need my mockery. But I am definitely sure that Whole 30 isn't for me. Oh, and I work from home and still eat at my desk because days are short. I appreciate the whole mindful eating thing, but ain't nobody got time for that (nor do I have time to figure out how to embed a picture in this comment).

  3. I see your tahini and lemon juice and weep because I am away from home without it. Tear.

  4. How hard is it to delude yourself that "chocolate tea" is dessert?

    1. It is SO NOT DESSERT. I do not delude myself. I just drink it and enjoy it as it's own thing.

  5. This is so much worse than I had envisioned. That breakfast doesn't look like vomit, it looks like something you rooted out of a trashcan and ate. Also your dinner with random whole nuts on it? HURK.

    I'm so glad I don't care about PRs enough to ever try this shit.

  6. Actually, I feel like your foods look way better than my foods! I made a sweet potato soup with dinner last night that literally looked like melted vomit...but it tasted really good.

    PS I'd like to know how to make those breakfast things!

  7. When looking at your creations and looking at what they are supposed to look like, only two words come to mind...NAILED IT!

    The thai chicken doesn't look too bad though...

  8. The breakfast things look kind of awful, but they sound like a good meal. I might make them, but I won't be taking any pictures. :)

  9. The crockpot Thai chicken actually sounds delish and I have been wanting to try cauliflower rice - any good?

    Your lunch however sounds and looks like what a nightmare in food-form would be.

    Also - why is your banana in a a ziplock? Eat them liberally, but they alrealy come in their own container...the peel.

  10. The crockpot Thai chicken actually sounds delish and I have been wanting to try cauliflower rice - any good?

    Your lunch however sounds and looks like what a nightmare in food-form would be.

    Also - why is your banana in a a ziplock? Eat them liberally, but they alrealy come in their own container...the peel.

  11. I'm currently overcoming a migraine and so, while I normally could imagine these foods tasting good even though they don't "look" good (that's pretty much how most of the food I make is), I just can't do that right now. But your breakfast looks amazing at least. And that avocado. I loooove me some avocado.

  12. Coming over from Kara's blog. . .I actually think some of the food looks yummy! I love avocado and hard boiled eggs. That salmon cake sounds exactly like something I would do! Your breakfast also looks good to me without the meat!

    I have recently started increasing my miles and I am looking for some real world inspiration on foods since I am always trying to figure out how to determine if I am eating too much or not enough. How do you know?

  13. Hi Alyssa! I am coming over from Kara's blog.
    I actually think that some of that looks good! I love avocado and hard boiled eggs. I also would do the exact same thing with that salmon cake! I would probably even like your breakfast without the meat.

    I have recently increased my miles and I am always trying to determine if I am eating too much or too little. I am looking for real world inspiration (not 900 calroies per day garbage), but I can't ever seem to get it right!

  14. 7 eggs a day for 30 days. I think that's more than I eat in a year! Your dinner looks yummy though. And please tell me more about this cauliflower rice.

  15. I like cauliflower rice as well and the breakfast muffin things look tasty as well. How do you not eat until 7:30 am after running 7 miles? Aren't you close to pass-out starving by then? Do you wake up hungry? Sorry for pestering you with questions but I wake up starving every morning. It is less than ideal!

    1. Ha, I don't know, that's just always what I've done! I've been getting up and just heading out the door for years, so I don't even think about it. I am already up before 5am so I can't imagine getting up even earlier to eat unless it's an extra long run - sorry so not helpful!


  17. A little bit I am still stuck on the sentence about doing speedwork with no food first...I always feel like I have to eat something first thing in the morning, I would die.


Thanks for commenting! Comments make me probably more happy than they should.